Month: January 2022

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Questions to ask mom’s doctor 

Older woman and daughter sitting on the couch and laughing together

While caring for an aging parent or family member, you will accompany them to healthcare appointments. These are excellent opportunities to gain an understanding of your parent’s health, which is essential to providing adequate care.

Despite being hands-on with your parent’s care, you may be unaware of everything in their medical history or current health issues, especially if you do not reside in the same home. So, it’s important to make the most of each visit by preparing beforehand.

Keep a notebook with your questions so you know what to ask your parent’s doctor, as well as observations and other information. Bring it with you to each appointment. This will help you remember to address topics like common signs of aging , information about your parent’s daily medication and any chronic health conditions they may have.

It will also help you stay organized if your parent has multiple doctors, home care instructions, return appointments or other vital information that should be remembered.

9 questions to ask your parent’s doctor

 

  1. Can you provide more details about the diagnosis?
  2. What is each medication treating, and are there any possible side effects?
  3. I’ve noticed these changes – should I be concerned?
  4. What changes should I watch for?
  5. What exercises are best for my parent?
  6. Is my parent getting proper nutrition?
  7. Is my parent showing signs of memory loss?
  8. Is my parent eligible for any screenings? Is there testing or bloodwork that needs to be completed? If so, please explain.
  9. What should we work on before our next appointment?

Can you provide more details about the diagnosis?

Maybe your parent has a history of chronic or progressive illnesses that needs to be explained during a routine check-up. Maybe your parent is showing possible symptoms of a new illness. No matter what has brought you into the healthcare provider’s office, make sure you have a solid understanding of any condition or illness diagnosed by the doctor.

What is each medication treating, and are there any possible side effects?

Your parent may take different medications prescribed by different physicians for varying reasons. Bring a list of all current medications and supplements for discussion. Ask if any new medications are being prescribed and document instructions as well as side effects. If your parent takes multiple medications daily, remember to ask about drug interaction.

I’ve noticed these changes – should I be concerned?

Chances are you’ve noticed a multitude of changes while caring for an aging parent or family member. Some changes may be common signs of aging ; others may not. Observations such as sudden weight gain or loss, edema, new occurrences of disorientation, trouble hearing or a sudden change in vision should be discussed with the healthcare provider. Be sure to mention any recent accidents, such as falls and other injuries.

What changes should I watch for?

Whether your parent or family member has a chronic illness like diabetes or a progressive illness like Parkinson’s disease, it’s important to be knowledgeable about any symptoms that indicate an illness is getting worse or is not being managed properly.

What exercises are best for my parent?

Staying active plays an important role in aging well. Depending on your parent’s ability, unique health history and prior injuries or surgeries, some exercises may be more beneficial than others, while some may need to be avoided altogether. Ask your healthcare provider to recommend easy-to-do exercises your parent can do to be active while aging.

Is my parent getting proper nutrition?

Have you noticed a change in your parent’s appetite? Are they eating less or more? Maybe others have noticed they aren’t cooking like they used to, and you’re concerned about their food choices. A nutritious, balanced diet is essential to staying healthy while aging. Be sure to discuss this with your parent and their doctor.

Is my parent showing signs of memory loss?

Forgetfulness may be a common sign of aging, but if you or others have noticed changes in behavior or concerning moments of memory lapse, like your parent forgetting recent events or repeatedly asking the same question after it’s been answered, mention it to their physician. These things could be signs of memory loss or something else. Sometimes, treatable causes like poor nutrition or urinary tract infections can present symptoms similar to that of dementia. Proper examination is key to rule out other causes.

Is my parent eligible for any screenings? Is there testing or bloodwork that needs to be completed? If so, please explain.

Routine screens and annual physical exams can help detect and effectively treat diseases early, so help your parent stay on top of them. A blood pressure screening, colonoscopy, bone density scan, cholesterol/lipid blood test, diabetes screening, hearing test, thyroid function test, skin check and mammogram are a few common preventive health screens your parent should complete to ensure a healthy aging process. If your parent is visiting the doctor because of a suspected illness, different testing may be required.

What should we work on before our next appointment?

Ask for realistic, attainable goals to help improve your parent or family member’s health if necessary. Whether it is taking medication consistently or adopting a healthier diet, try to help your parent achieve their goal.

When accompanying your parent to doctor’s appointments, you may find yourself acting as an advocate and liaison. Encourage interaction between the healthcare provider and your parent, if possible. Position yourself as a partner to your parent, not a figure of authority. Look for cues that your parent may be confused, uneasy or overwhelmed. Be empowered to ask for clarity or to ask the healthcare provider to speak in layman’s terms: cognitive processing slows down with age and your parent may need help to understand. Also, push back on questionable judgement when you have concerns. This will empower your parent to be a willing and active participant at their appointments and with their overall well-being.

Our Checklist for What to Ask Your Parent’s Doctor (PDF)

Categories
Making the Decision

How quality care services empower older adults

Three Atria residents and an Atria employee sitting together

The right amount of discreet care can help older adults participate, grow, and engage in what brings them purpose and joy. Here are a few of the benefits that quality senior care options can provide.

Opportunities for engagement

One of the key benefits of assisted living is the social connection and engagement that senior living communities foster. Research has found that isolation negatively impacts our health, and older adults are most at risk.

Moving to a senior living community that provides opportunities to participate in programs and workshops, attend fitness classes, volunteer with local organizations and socialize with other residents can improve quality of life for seniors. For those with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, specially designed memory care neighborhoods staffed with caregivers help residents stay safe while also maintaining their independence.

Tidy living spaces

In many senior living communities, standard services might include chef-prepared meals, housekeeping and apartment maintenance, or transportation to and from local events and programs. Those tasks can keep the apartments and the community where residents live clean, well-tended, and organized. Plus, they provide ample opportunities for residents to enjoy healthy and delicious dishes, and to meet other people – warding off the possibility of being lonely or unable to access nutritious food.

Relief from worry

The best senior caregiving gives residents and their families the peace of mind of knowing that a helping hand is always available. In addition to providing the services listed above, a discreet care staff may also assist residents with medication oversight, periodic check-ins, accommodations for special diets, assistance with transferring to a bed or a chair, among other services. All that assistance can assure residents that they’re receiving the right care for their needs, which may improve their physical and mental wellbeing and lead to greater independence.

Care at Atria

Experiencing care services at Atria means living with the confidence that an attentive caregiver is ready 24/7 to support residents in ways that are professional yet welcoming. For older adults who want to maintain a level of independence – yet could use a helping hand doing so – assisted living offers a secure option. Learn how much assisted living services cost in your area with our care calculator.

If you or someone you know wants to learn more about Atria, visit AtriaSeniorLiving.com/FindACommunity to discover the location nearest you.

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

How socialization improves the health of older adults

Atria Senior Living residents enjoying tea together

Studies suggest that adults ages 65 and older who interact with people beyond their usual circles of family and friends are more likely to stay active and have a positive outlook. Let’s go over some of the many physical, mental, and emotional benefits of socialization for seniors.

How socialization provides physical benefits

A lifestyle that involves being social – taking a walk with neighbors, listening to other people’s stories at dinner, or showing up to a happy hour get-together – can keep seniors alert and engaged. Plus, it may lessen the possibility of being isolated or sedentary, which often leads to detrimental health outcomes in older adults. Research suggests that people who enjoy social support are more likely to keep going to the gym or maintain a fitness regimen. Which makes sense: Our friends and peers can jog with us in the morning, swim laps with us, or encourage us to never give up on our goals.

How socialization strengthens mental health

Social activities for seniors provide as many mental benefits as they do physical benefits. Residents who belong to a senior living community and often engage with others might experience fewer feelings of loneliness and depression, which can become a concern for the millions of older adults in the US who live alone. In a community, though, their cognitive skills may become sharper, because humans are social by nature. Face-to-face contact with others releases neurotransmitters that help us regulate anxiety – and make us more resilient.

How socialization improves emotional wellbeing

The emotional benefits of social events and workshops for seniors are intuitive: Strong social connections and satisfying relationships correlate with longer lifespans. Making new friends, having people close to you who you trust, valuing the advice of confidants, or sharing a laugh with a neighbor can improve anyone’s well-being and sense of stability.

Find your community

At Atria, we promote a culture of socialization for older adults because we believe that people belong together. We created Engage Life programs to provide programming that enhances residents’ lives through workshops, travel outings, and other opportunities to socialize. Find out more about opportunities to learn and discover new goals at Atria.

If you or someone you know wants to learn more about Atria, visit AtriaSeniorLiving.com/FindACommunity to discover the location nearest you.

Categories
Caregiving

How to care for an elderly parent at home

Senior mother and daughter looking at photo album together

You may have begun to notice concerning changes in your parent during their aging process. Have they become more forgetful? Are they withdrawing from hobbies they used to enjoy and the people they love? Maybe you’re concerned about their safety in the home.

You may not feel ready for them to make the move to senior living, yet leaving your parent to manage on their own isn’t an option. So you ask yourself, “How do I take care of my aging parent?”

Here is wise advice: Slow down and take things one step at a time. Know that you are not alone in this. Focus on what you can handle. This guide can help you transform the looming obstacle of caregiving into a practical, realistic plan.

Quick guide: Caring for an elderly parent

 

Talk about care with your parent

Before you do anything, it’s important to sit down and talk with your parent. Position yourself as a partner, not an authority. Transitioning from their child to a caregiver role can be complicated for everyone. Be patient with yourself and your parent.

Be tactful and considerate, but clear and direct. Sometimes well-intended help can be perceived as condescending and spurs resistance. Be prepared to have multiple conversations.

Make sure to talk to siblings about your parent’s care from the beginning, so no one feels left out. The sooner you start the conversation with your parent and family, the easier it will be for all involved to make decisions about Mom’s or Dad’s well-being, especially if their needs become challenging.

Most important, know your parent’s wishes before assuming the role of caregiver. They may prefer not to have a family member look after them, so understanding their expectations up front is beneficial for everyone.

Make their home safe

A safe living environment is paramount, especially as your parent ages. Each year, more than one out of four older adults fall, but less than half report that fall to their doctor. Look for tripping hazards such as area rugs, cluttered hallways, door thresholds, cracks in the driveway, loose steps, electrical cords and ottomans.

Place easily accessible seating around the home. For example, a bench near the door to sit upon while removing shoes or a stool in the bedroom to make it easier to get dressed can be helpful.

While modifying the house for greater and safer mobility, consider installing grab bars in the tub or shower and around the toilet, and placing nonslip mats in the bathroom and kitchen. Other options that can make your parent’s day-to-day safer are assistive devices – such as a cane, walker, wheelchair or scooter – and physical and/or occupational therapy.

Technology has never been more accessible or easier to use than it is today. Consider a medical alert device with a push-button to call for emergency assistance. Smart home devices are also a great way to automate medication reminders and make phone calls, and many can connect to home security systems.

Assess medical needs

Your parent may need help keeping up with doctors’ appointments, traveling to the doctor, remembering to prepare for home health visits or navigating technology for telehealth appointments. Some of these tasks your parent can handle alone, but other duties might require assistance.

You may find it helpful to have the following things handy: a list of your parent’s medications and dosages, a copy of their insurance documents and, if applicable, copies of their veteran ID card and healthcare proxy.

Work with your parent to see what is realistic and delegate other tasks if necessary. They may be able to manage their daily medications just fine, but need reminders about appointments and transportation to doctors’ offices.

In the event your parent is recovering from a hospital stay, it’s important to consider home care services while transitioning back to life at home. These services can also help avoid a return visit to the hospital.

Address cognitive health

Forgetfulness may be a common sign of aging. Missing an appointment or making one questionable decision isn’t cause for immediate alarm, but it may be an indicator that your parent needs a little assistance.

“We all forget things from time to time. It can be a result of stress, anxiety and normal aging,” said Eleonora Tornatore-Mikesh, President and CEO of CaringKind. “These things become more of a concern if they occur frequently and impact a person’s day-to-day functioning.”

There are various ways you can help improve your parent’s cognitive health. Walking and other low-impact exercises are great options to get blood flowing to the brain. Learning a new skill or engaging in games like word puzzles and Sudoku can also help. And, don’t underestimate the importance of a good night’s rest and a balanced diet – foods that are good for the heart are good for the brain.

If your parent’s forgetfulness is posing a risk to their safety – for example, forgetting to turn off the stove or being confused about their surroundings – intervention is necessary.

“If you notice these signs, do what you can to have your parent evaluated by a neurologist who specializes in memory disorders,” Tornatore-Mikesh said. “While Alzheimer’s is the most common form of irreversible dementia, there are many other causes of dementia, some of which are reversible.”

Depending on what you learn during the evaluation, you may want to consider hiring in-home care or looking into a senior living community that offers memory care.

Learn how to help with daily tasks

When you get involved with your parent’s day-to-day routine, you will get a feel for their ability to take care of themselves independently. In the world of senior living, this is referred to as activities of daily living, which include but are not limited to:

  • Medication assistance
  • Personal grooming assistance, such as bathing and getting dressed
  • Meal reminders
  • Escorts to and from meals and events
  • Incontinence management

Have an honest conversation with your parent about their ability to do these things successfully. Some tasks may require modifications. For example, placing a shower chair in the tub can make bathing easier. Encourage your parent to keep a simple wardrobe and use dressing aids, like a shoehorn, sock aid, button hook fastener or a reach extender to help grab things. These tools can eliminate frustration and build confidence.

When assisting with daily tasks, allow your parent to do as much as possible with you by their side. Only intervene when needed or asked.

Encourage engagement and connection

Staying active and connected is vital to one’s well-being – no matter your age – and it’s especially important for older adults, who often can become isolated and lonely. In fact, research shows that adults 65 years and older spend more than 25 percent of their day watching television.

“Socialization and staying active are very important,” said Tornatore-Mikesh. “Being active and participating in social settings enables the person to use parts of the brain they would not use otherwise.”

When possible, monitor your parent’s behavior. Find an activity that you know brings them joy and engage them. If you happen to live far away, call regularly and encourage family and friends to do the same. Consider programs and centers designed specifically for older adults to keep your parent active and socially engaged during the day.

Handling money matters

Unless you have been designated as a power of attorney, decisions regarding finances are still up to your parent. They may want to maintain complete autonomy over their finances. When appropriate – and if necessary – broach the conversation tactfully and delicately.

Fortunately, you do not have to be power of attorney to partner with your parent about staying abreast of accounts, paying monthly bills and managing financial obligations.

Another important aspect of caring for your parents as they grow older is financially preparing for the cost of in-home care. Modifying the home for safety, paying for in-home assistance and purchasing appropriate assistive equipment like a stairlift adds up. Comparing these costs to those associated with a move to an assisted living community is also a key consideration.

Discuss these things with your parent, along with if they have long-term care insurance, to get an accurate idea of their financial state. Your parent may be eligible for government programs, such as Medicaid, veterans benefits and other resources to help with the cost of care.

Access additional resources available to caregivers

Caring for an aging parent – or making decisions about a parent’s care – can be overwhelming. As an aging adult’s physical and cognitive abilities change, so does the level of assistance they require. Be aware of caregiver burnout and know that you don’t have to do everything by yourself. There may be resources and avenues available when you need additional help or even a break for several days.

Start your senior care research early and initiate conversations with your parent and family. Being proactive instead of reactive is key to setting everyone up for success. Don’t wait for a mishap or incident like a fall or sudden onset of illness. As your family considers options, it’s important that everyone has a clear vision of what success looks like. The ideal solution will benefit your parent’s health and well-being while maintaining harmony and balance for the entire family.

Our Guide on How to Care for an Elderly Parent (PDF)

Categories
Family Dynamics

How to talk to siblings about an aging parent’s care

Senior woman and daughter looking through photos together

The only thing potentially more difficult than caring for parents as they age is discussing their care with the family. Facing the realization that the health or abilities of your parent is declining – along with a myriad of family dynamics paired with feelings of guilt and worry – can be a challenge.

In this helpful video, Melanie Bedell, Vice President of Sales at Atria, provides insight on how family dynamics may play a role in your parent’s care, and shares tips to make the discussion with your family go well.

In the eight steps below, find tips and techniques to thoughtfully approach the conversation about your parent’s care with your siblings.

8 steps to discuss an aging parent’s care with siblings

 

  1. Plan a meeting
  2. Ask your parent what they want
  3. Share helpful info and examples
  4. Communicate openly
  5. Listen openly
  6. Resist counterproductive behavior
  7. Ask for help and manage expectations
  8. Accept and forgive

Plan a meeting

Your family may be scattered across the globe, making spur-of-the-moment meetings seemingly impossible. Even if your siblings live relatively close, obligations of daily life can still be an obstacle, especially for those who are caring for children of their own.

“Everyone’s life is very busy, but nothing is more important than discussing your parent’s care – together,” said Bedell. “Because things don’t get easier as parents get older, they’re going to get harder.”

When and where convenient for all, schedule a face-to-face meeting to discuss care for your parent. The best time may be around the holidays or other occasions when the family typically comes together. If you have family who lives somewhere far away from your parent or you’re unable to arrange a time or place that works for everyone, consider setting up a video call through services like Zoom®, Skype or FaceTime®.

Don’t blindside anyone. Let everyone know the topic at hand, and try to include everyone in the discussion. Also, keep in mind that this should be the first of many meetings to come. Constant communication is key.

Ask your parent what they want

While alone with your mother or father, ask what he or she actually wants delicately but directly. Your parent deserves to be included in any decision that affects their life. Again, manage your expectations and be realistic. They may be saddened or resistant at the idea. Conversely, your parent may be more perceptive than you assumed.

“They may be saddened, but they may also be relieved,” said Bedell.

Let your parent’s response help influence and further guide your next steps.

Share helpful info and examples

If you are the primary caregiver or the most familiar with your elderly parent’s needs, be prepared to share or discuss challenges you are experiencing. Begin documenting incidents or things that concern you. If possible, plan to meet somewhere near your parent’s home so your siblings can visit and see things for themselves. Encourage them to spend a day with your parent and share their experiences.

It’s also important to share helpful info and examples of how caregiving may be affecting you. Has parent care caused you to miss work? Are you missing out on time with your own children and grandchildren? Are you experiencing adverse effects on your mental and physical health?

Communicate openly

Begin honest and respectful communication by leading by example. Express yourself clearly and try to stick to the facts. Write down your talking points to stay on track during the discussion.

While discussing your parent’s needs is understandably emotional, use the initial part of the discussion to build support around the main topic: the health, happiness and safety of the parent you love.

“It might get emotional at times, but reference back to why you’re all together to begin with: You want the best for your parent,” said Bedell.

Listen openly

This next tip is important: Invite your siblings to express their thoughts and listen without interrupting. Give everyone the opportunity to voice their emotions without immediately siding with them or invalidating how they feel.

By inviting input from your siblings, you show that their opinion is important. Ask open-ended questions at the end of the conversation: “What do you think is the best course of action?” or “How do you think we can best help Mom or Dad?” Listen to their responses, even if they have a radically different solution than your own.

Resist counterproductive behavior

There’s no guaranteed method on how to stop family disputes over aging parents, and that’s perfectly normal – it’s common for relatives to have disagreements.

Depending on the dynamics of your family, it may be easy to fall victim to finger-pointing, arguing and passive-aggressiveness, especially when triggered. Try to resist the temptation to fall into counterproductive behaviors by focusing on the issue, not the person.

Always assume the best intent. Your siblings may not align or agree on one single idea or care solution right away.

It’s okay.

Give everyone, and yourself, a chance to digest the information before reacting hastily. Remember, everyone has the same goal: the health and happiness of your parent.

Ask for help and manage expectations

Asking for help is hard, but you wouldn’t be here unless it was necessary. As the main caregiver, you must vocalize your need for support. Now is not the time to drop hints or mince words. How can siblings help with an aging parent? Be direct. Be clear about what you need. Most of all, be prepared. Write down tasks to delegate while managing your expectations and being realistic.

If a sibling lives in a different time zone, that person won’t be best for hands-on tasks, but they could provide relief by paying someone to do the jobs instead. If a sibling has a small child, they may have limited availability, but they could occasionally check in and visit. The sibling with poor financial habits should not handle money, but they may be the perfect person to keep your parent company when you need a break.

Don’t limit support to only physical activities. Include emotional support as well. How will you all lean on one another through difficult moments? While it may be too early to mention family therapy during the initial meeting, think about counseling down the road if necessary. Connecting with a geriatric care manager to discuss your unique situation is also an option to consider.

Accept and forgive

Alas, we cannot be all things to all people and the same holds true for our siblings. Accept your siblings for the help they are willing and capable of offering and forgive them for the support they cannot or will not provide.

Also, remain optimistic and do not shut down after the first sign of resistance. Give your siblings time to realize how they are capable of helping or contributing – even if it is something different than what you originally planned.

“Talking about your parent’s care can be challenging,” Bedell said. “But with a little bit of planning and patience, and open lines of communication, that challenge can be overcome.”

Our Guide on How to Talk to Your Siblings (PDF)

Categories
Making the Decision

Questions to ask during a senior care assessment

Happy elderly man and woman listening to various investment plans for their retirement.
Senior couple meeting real estate agent at home. Old husband and wife with financial advisor for investment opportunities. Happy elderly man and woman listening to various investment plans for their retirement.

The safety and well-being of residents should be the top priority of any senior care community. As such, licensed nurses generally assess each resident’s physical, emotional and functional needs prior to move-in, and then on an as-needed basis following that initial care plan.

Because these assessments often involve medical terms, and families may not have undergone this process before, it can be difficult to know which questions to ask. Read on for an overview of issues to address and answers to seek during a care assessment.

How the care assessment process works

Every senior living community conducts its care assessments differently, but this is a general overview of how the process works:

 

  • Prior to a new resident moving into a senior living community, a licensed nurse will meet with the resident to identify the needs they may have, including medication assistance.
  • Generally, the senior living community will request a physician’s health evaluation of the resident. Those requirements vary from state to state, however, and it’s worth noting that in many senior living communities, a physician’s assessment is often distinct from the assessments that nurses or RSDs provide.
  • Following move-in, ongoing assessments are conducted and updated based on a resident’s changing needs – as the staff observe and report them – as well as a resident’s requests for increased services.

Questions to ask during a care assessment

The issues that you’ll raise during the care assessment will vary considerably, depending on the services provided, the evaluation results, and the needs of the resident. Yet here are a few pertinent questions that might apply in most situations:

 

  • What are the levels of care for seniors?
  • What care is provided in assisted living communities?
  • When is the right time to move from assisted living to memory care?
  • How frequently do staff members provide discreet care to residents?
  • How do you assess care needs for seniors, and what are the differences between them?
  • Which services do you provide (personal care, medication assistance, incontinent management, and so on)?
  • What type of medical documentation will residents need to provide prior to move-in (a physician’s report, a nursing assessment, a TB test, and so on)?

Making the right decision for your family

At Atria, our senior care services are backed by industry-leading quality standards. “The differentiator in Atria’s care is our preparation, our response, our protocols, our internal Quality Enhancement review process,” Joanna Mansfield, Atria’s Senior Vice President of Care and Life Guidance, said. “We have stringent guidelines. We have checks and balances to make sure residents’ needs are being fulfilled.”

Atria only hires nurses with a clinical skill set and management experience who are also familiar with working with older adults. The attention to detail required in their jobs helps give them the structure necessary to provide the best senior care for the world’s wisest people. And if you have any questions about that care, we’re here to help.

If you or someone you know wants to learn more about Atria, visit AtriaSeniorLiving.com/FindACommunity to discover the location nearest you.

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

What are common signs of aging?

Photo of a family spending time together

It’s no secret. With age brings mental and physical changes. Some signs of aging are subtle, like the slight change in taste of certain foods. Other signs are more noticeable, like reoccurring aches and joint pains. While each person’s unique health history and genetic disposition play a key role in the effects of growing old, it’s important to have a general understanding of what’s common, what to expect and what could be cause for concern.

Our Guide to the Common Signs of Aging (PDF)

Forgetfulness could be a sign of growing older

Forgetfulness and moments of memory lapse could be common signs of aging. Some examples your older parent may experience include misplacing things, missing an appointment or occasional trouble finding words that are “on the tip of their tongue” during a conversation.

Keep an eye out for your parent having difficulty remembering how to do regular tasks, such as taking daily medications or keeping up with hygiene, forgetting recent events or displaying changes in their functional abilities. This could mean your parent may need more reminders, supervision or hands-on assistance, like an in-home caregiver or assisted living.

How to help your parent: When assisting your parent, show patience. They may be frustrated with their own forgetfulness. Creating to-do lists together is an easy way to stay on track of daily routines. Encourage involvement in activities that strengthen the mind and body, like walking. Organization for regularly used items is important. For example, things like house keys, a purse or wallet, and medications should be placed in the same accessible spot each day. Your parent may also have a hard time admitting they need help and refuse assistance. Reassurance and support will remind them that the goal is to help them stay safe and independent.

Maintaining daily routines may be difficult

The desire, energy or ability to stay on top of home maintenance can decrease as people age. You may notice things like mail piling up, more frozen meals instead of fresh food, untidy rooms and small tasks going unaddressed, like replacing broken light bulbs.

You may even notice a lack of energy or interest to stay on top of hygiene, such as skipping daily showers or wearing stained clothes.

However, increasingly unsafe, unsanitary and unhealthy surroundings are signs an aging parent needs help.

“It’s said that it takes a village to care for a child. The same sentiment holds true to care for an older adult who’s experiencing cognitive and functional decline,” said Christina Y. Chen, MD, geriatrician at the Mayo Clinic.

“It takes thoughtful caregivers, friends, family and an involved healthcare system, as well as a keen understanding of what is within our control, what is outside of our control, and doing the best to bring out the best.”

How to help your parent: Assist with daily tasks that seem to be overwhelming. For example, sit with your parent and go over the bills or visit weekly to tidy up the house. If you live far away, consider setting up some bills for autopay or hiring a housekeeping service.

Your parent’s mood may be different following loss

Loss becomes more commonplace as we grow older. It is expected to experience sadness following the death of friends, family or a spouse, but be aware not to overlook signs of depression and anxiety, which often goes untreated in older adults.

How to help your parent: Be patient and supportive during the grieving process. Loss is hard at any age. Make a point to call and check on their well-being. Invite your parent over for dinner or a fun family activity. Consider talking to your parent about grief counseling or accompanying them to a support group. Some places of worship also offer grief and counseling services.

Your parent’s mood may be different following major changes

Frustration or sadness on the heels of retirement or selling the family home is surprisingly common, especially if spurred by declining health or a decrease in independence. Again, be on the lookout for signs of depression and anxiety, which could also manifest as anger.

How to help your parent: Be considerate of their unique grieving process and encourage your parent to engage in what brings them joy. Or, if they are open, introduce them to something new to encourage future-forward thinking. If sadness, frustration or overall discontentment persist, consider talking to your parent about counseling.

Isolation and loneliness can be common for an elderly parent

Declining health paired with a disability or limited mobility can cause an older adult to feel like an inconvenience to others. Because of this, it is common to isolate oneself, consequentially leading to loneliness and eventually depression. Withdrawing from others and showing a lack of interest in things they once enjoyed are telltale signs of isolation and loneliness. You may even notice them napping more or frequently watching TV.

How to help your parent: Monitor this behavior as best as possible, and then engage your parent with an activity known to bring them joy. Start in the home where it is safe and familiar, and then work up their comfortability to venture out in the world. Modify activities according to their abilities. Look for places that are accessible and won’t overwhelm them.

Physical decline during the aging process

Declining physical changes are inevitable. The lens of the eye thickens, stiffens and becomes less able to focus on close objects, like words in a book. Tooth loss becomes more common. High-pitched sounds become harder to hear, making it difficult to understand voices clearly at times. Your parent’s sense of balance may not be as keen as it once was, increasing their risk for trips and falls. Their mobility may be affected due to surgery, joint stiffness or muscle weakness. As unpleasant as it may be, urinary incontinence could be a common sign of aging due to weakening bladder muscles.

How to help your parent: Routine visits to a physician and dentist, staying active, and maintaining a balanced, healthy diet may not stop the aging process, but these actions will help your parent age well and mitigate chronic health problems. Support your parent by encouraging checkups, exercising with them and trying out new, wholesome recipes together.

As you assist your parent, be patient. Ask how he or she would like you to help them. Sometimes even the most well-intended help can spur resistance at first. Stay resilient and don’t hesitate to ask for support when needed.