Category: Family Dynamics

In early 2024, Beth Remy and her sisters found themselves struggling with a dilemma many Americans face every year. Their 85-year-old father, in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease, could no longer safely live alone. Beth and her sisters, Pam and Kim, knew it was time for their dad to explore assisted living options, but he resisted the idea and they struggled to make him realize it was the right move for his health and well-being.

“We knew it would be hard to convince him,” Beth says. “He’s very independent and can be stubborn. And there’s no real rule book for how to handle this process, so we had to figure it out as we went along.”

Beth, who lives in Newport, Rhode Island, is sharing her family’s experience to help other families who are dealing with similar circumstances.

“So many people go through this process, and I think it’s helpful to hear other people’s experiences,” she says. “I think it helps to hear about other people’s stories when you’re just starting to have these conversations with your own family.”

How did you and your sisters come to the decision that it was time for your father to transition to assisted living?

Beth: In January of 2023, Dad had an event, possibly a stroke, that left him very confused. Before that, he’d been relatively healthy and independent. He was still running four miles a day at the age of 84, living on his own and driving himself places. But after that event, he started struggling cognitively. My sisters and I all lived nearby, and we would invite him over for dinner and he wouldn’t show up, which had us worried. And when we finally reached him on the phone, it usually turned out he had forgotten about our dinner plans.

On one of those nights when we couldn’t reach him, we ended up calling the police. It turned out he’d been driving around but couldn’t remember where he was going and drove himself home. We’d been worried about him driving for a while – he had gotten into some scrapes and fender benders that he didn’t want to tell us about – but after that event in January, things were clearly getting worse.

There were other disconcerting signs too. He seemed depressed and not himself. He wasn’t eating, even when we made him dinner. He was losing weight. And eventually he was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s. My two sisters and I all live near him and we would check on him, but it was clear he needed a more professional level of care.

What was your process for researching and evaluating assisted living communities?

Beth: We wanted one nearby, so that narrowed it down. My sisters and I visited four different places in the summer of 2023. Some of those places had big, welcoming common spaces that gave a misleading impression of what it would be like to live there because the actual apartments were quite small. Others had confusing layouts, which concerned us. At one point we thought, “We don’t have Alzheimer’s and we keep getting lost in this place.”

When we visited Atria Aquidneck Place in Rhode Island, it really stood out. It was like a bell went off in our heads – it was such a positive, friendly, kind environment. There were lots of windows and natural light. It didn’t feel like we were visiting a nursing home or medical facility. It felt like a community where people were continuing to live their lives.

Ironically, Atria Aquidneck Place also turned out to be more affordable than the other places we visited, so it was a no-brainer.

How did you approach the topic of senior assisted living with your father and what was his initial response?

Beth: He’s very resistant to change, so we knew he would push back. We tried to highlight the social aspects because he often talked about being lonely and bored. We never lied to him, but we did have to reiterate our points because he would often forget previous discussions. We told him the truth, which was that we thought it might be great for him to have a group of people his age to share stories and socialize with. But he kept envisioning this negative stereotype of a nursing home.

We did convince him to come see Atria – we never bothered showing him the others – and while we were on the tour, it dawned on him why we were there. I don’t think he quite understood the purpose of our visit at first. We were standing in the apartment he would move into, and he looked at us and said, “I’d rather die than live here.”

That took us all aback. So we apologized to Sandra, the person giving the tour, and said we would have to wait. My sisters and I have power of attorney, but we felt strongly that ultimately it should be Dad’s decision.

By January of 2024, it was clear things were deteriorating to the point where he couldn’t be alone anymore. So we scheduled another visit to Atria; Dad couldn’t remember the first one. This time, on the way out, he told Sandra, “You have a nice place here, thanks for letting me visit.”

We got him to agree to move in, but then he decided he didn’t want to move right away. Eventually, we all came to an agreement that Dad would move in and me or one of my sisters would stay with him the first few nights.

In the days leading up to the move, he actually helped us pack. And during the move itself, he was really calm and positive, and my sisters and I ended up not staying with him those first few nights.

What has his adjustment to living at Atria Aquidneck Place been like?

Beth: Within a week, he was doing much better. He would call us every day to tell us how good the food was, how nice the people were and all the activities he was involved in. Dad’s personality is very introverted in some ways, but he’s more social now that he’s around people. There were a couple of nights where he would call us and be confused about where he was, but it never reached a point where we had to calm him down. He became less confused as time went on.

Dad does really well when he has a routine. Living alone in his condition, he couldn’t set up a routine for himself. But at Atria, there’s so much structure that it’s easier for him. He’s eating better and he’s gained his weight back. He’s less depressed, thinking more clearly and going for walks. Sometimes he still wonders why he’s in senior living, but it’s become his new happy normal.

What did the staff at Atria do to make the transition easier?

Beth: They were great – very professional, very patient and very kind. Move-in day was stressful for us, but the front desk was very helpful handling the logistics of getting his apartment set up.

We were struggling to get Dad’s media center set up when Jason, the Executive Director, walked in and helped us. We were impressed that he would spend that much time helping us instead of calling the tech team and going on his way. Right away we felt welcomed and supported.

We all had dinner with Dad the first night and our server, Sandy, was absolutely wonderful, explaining that Dad could order off the menu if there was something else he wanted.

And now, every time we visit, the people at the front desk tell us exactly where we can find Dad. They’re so attentive. Everyone has made us feel like they’re here to help us.

How does your father feel about living at Atria now?

Beth: We 100% feel like he’s settled into a comfortable routine. He checks all the upcoming activity lists and outings. He goes to art fairs, watches documentaries, goes to music performances. He really likes Atria’s game nights, where they play TV-style games like Jeopardy and other word games like Scrabble.

We play Scrabble and billiards with him when we visit, and sometimes other residents he knows will join us. If it’s nice out, we’ll play bocce or go for a walk.

Overall, he’s happy and in good spirits. He’s doing well cognitively on a day-to-day basis, but he can’t retain short-term memory. So we tell him, “Don’t worry, we’ll live in the moment with you. We don’t have to worry about tomorrow or what happened yesterday.”

Can you offer any final thoughts on the effect this experience has had on you and your family?

Beth: It was really stressful at first for all of us. But now it’s such a relief to know he’s in good hands. We don’t have to worry about how he’s eating or if he’s going to get lost or in an accident. And we know he’s got the care and guidance he needs to have a happy, healthy routine. If his Alzheimer’s progresses, he’ll eventually need memory care, but we feel like the move to Atria is going to delay that process because he’s doing better physically and cognitively. And as it happens, his apartment overlooks the community’s memory care courtyard, so in a way he’s already getting familiar with it if he ends up needing to move there.

It’s been life-changing for my sisters and I as well. We have more of our own time back. We don’t have to do maintenance on his house or mow the lawn. For years we felt we had to be around just in case he needed us, so we canceled a lot of vacations because of that.

But we actually just took our first vacation in five years together. It was wonderful being able to do that and have peace of mind knowing that Dad was taken care of.

As our parents grow older, we have to discuss difficult topics such as finances and healthcare decisions – and who will make those decisions should your parent become unable to.

It can be scary to bring up power of attorney because that transfer of authority is often seen as a loss of independence. But if you’re taking care of your parents, having this discussion sooner rather than later may reduce stress and help ensure your parent receives proper care when the need arises.

Let’s explore what power of attorney means, the emotional aspects surrounding it, the different types of power of attorney, and the value of putting it in place before a health scare or some other unplanned event occurs.

What is power of attorney?

Power of attorney (POA) is a legal document that grants an individual the authority to make decisions on behalf of another person. A power of attorney for aging parents ensures continuity of care and clear decision-making when your parent can’t make informed decisions due to physical or mental incapacity.

Estate attorney David Reischer says the power of attorney goes hand in hand with a living will because it “allows a person to make their intent known in anticipation of a possible future moment when intent cannot be communicated.”

Reischer explains that having both a living will and durable power of attorney ensures a trusted representative has the authority to make healthcare decisions when a parent is no longer able to.

When should you create a power of attorney?

Generally speaking, a power of attorney for your aging parent should be in place before it’s needed. Here are three circumstances where you’ll find power of attorney to be an especially valuable tool.

Before a health event occurs

Does your parent have a significant health issue that needs to be managed on an ongoing basis? This could range from a chronic condition such as diabetes or dementia to a terminal illness.

Creating a power of attorney protects your parent – and the family – if they ever become incapacitated. Some families execute a power of attorney before their parent undergoes major surgery just in case of any complications.

To help you assist with finances

Is your elderly parent having trouble paying their bills or managing a budget? A power of attorney can allow you to handle their financial affairs, ensuring your parent’s money stays in good hands.

When it makes life easier for your parent

A power of attorney isn’t always related to future concerns about health or finances. Some older people want a POA as a matter of convenience. For instance, if your parent is out of town and wants to sign some important papers without having to return home, a power of attorney would allow you to act on their behalf.

Benefits of establishing power of attorney in advance

Here are a few compelling reasons to create a power of attorney before it’s needed:

• Reduced stress: Discussing and establishing power of attorney in advance eliminates the pressure of making these decisions during a health crisis, allowing for thoughtful consideration, legal consultations, and clear communication of wishes – reducing anxiety for everyone.
• Honoring personal preferences: Establishing power of attorney early makes it possible for parents to express their preferences while they are still capable of providing input on healthcare decisions, financial matters and overall well-being.
• Family harmony: Power of attorney can be emotionally charged, especially when left until the last minute. Tackling this topic proactively facilitates open and honest discussions as family members collaborate to find common ground and make decisions focused on the best interests of a parent.
• Sound legal advice: Initiating the power of attorney process early gives families more time to receive guidance from legal professionals experienced in elder law, ensuring that all necessary documents are in place and tailored to individual needs.
• Taking care of your elderly parents: A power of attorney is an essential legal document – and a whole lot more. You can think of it as an act of love for your parent to make sure they are cared for according to their wishes when they can no longer manage things themselves.

Types of power of attorney

A power of attorney states who can make decisions on behalf of another person. This person is known as an “agent” or “attorney-in-fact.” The rules for a power of attorney vary, so be sure to understand the guidelines for the state you live in.

Powers of attorney can be specific, general or durable:

• A specific POA only lets the agent manage a defined list of tasks and is usually in place for a limited time. For example, if someone is out of town for an extended period and asks their agent to manage their finances during that time.
• A general POA provides the agent with more authority, such as managing someone’s affairs on an ongoing basis – but the authority ends when a person becomes unable to make their own decisions.
• When it comes to an aging parent, you will want to create a durable power of attorney, which gives the agent authority to act on another’s behalf when they become incapacitated. One major benefit of a durable power of attorney is that you will not have to seek court approval to manage your parent’s affairs.

Choosing the right durable power of attorney

Next, you will choose a durable power of attorney that fits your parent’s needs. Here is a brief look at the options:

• Financial power of attorney for aging parents: With a financial power of attorney, your parent grants you the right to direct their financial affairs. The financial POA can specify which matters you can handle – like paying bills or managing retirement accounts – or it might be broader in scope. Your parent might grant you authority to carry out their wishes for one activity or give you far broader authority. The power of attorney spells out exactly what the duties are, from paying your parent’s bills to running their business.
• Medical power of attorney for elderly parents: A medical power of attorney empowers you to make medical decisions for your parent. These decisions are spelled out in a medical directive or living will, which details your parent’s medical care preferences. A medical directive may be combined with a healthcare directive or medical power of attorney. These documents clearly state what sort of treatment your parent wants so you can honor their desires. This helps reduce anxiety for the family during stressful times.
• Keep in mind that it’s smart to update a power of attorney as needed.

Establishing a power of attorney and family dynamics

Signing over authority to make decisions can evoke feelings of vulnerability and loss of control. Your parent might see it as surrendering their independence and an acknowledgement of declining health.

As a caregiver, you may struggle to address the subject because you don’t want to cause discomfort or resentment. However, it’s far worse to avoid this discussion, as it can have serious consequences during a health crisis. For example, should your parent become incapacitated without a power of attorney in place, you might have to seek court approval to manage their affairs.

So, how do you set the stage for a successful POA discussion?

First, when speaking about powers of attorney, frame the discussion around your parent’s point of view. Instead of telling them what they should do, explain that you want to get their input so you can help them make the best choices. Avoid criticizing your parent or pressuring them.

Second, if you already have a history of helping your parent with everyday matters like doctors’ appointments or visits with a lawyer, they probably know you care about their welfare and that they can trust you. That trust will go a long way in having a productive conversation about the future.

Atria Senior Living empowers families with peace of mind

As a leading provider of senior living communities, Atria knows all about difficult conversations, including the vital importance of establishing power of attorney for you and your parent. In addition to being a great place to live, Atria communities can provide a wealth of valuable resources for older adults. Contact your local community to learn more about legal resources in your area.

Of the many challenges shared by the sandwich generation, perhaps the most challenging is trying to balance the needs of loved ones while not sacrificing your own health and mental state of mind.

The “sandwich generation” refers to people who are caring for and supporting their parents and children at the same time. Raising children or caring for an elder takes considerable energy and mental resources on its own, let alone concurrently. And that’s not to mention attempting to maintain a career or have any time for oneself. It’s a lot to have on your plate.

If you’ve found yourself in the sandwich generation, you are not alone. According to a Pew research study, nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child (age 18 or older). And about one-in-seven middle-aged adults (15%) is providing financial support to both an aging parent and a child.

Here’s some advice to help you keep on top of your caregiving responsibilities and better manage this demanding stage of life.

Carefully weigh everyone’s needs

Children and aging parents have very different needs. You may find yourself having to make difficult choices about who you should attend to and when. Children’s lives are filled with meaningful milestones including sports tournaments, awards ceremonies or even having children of their own – grandchildren you will most likely want to spend time with. At the same time, older parents have pressing medical concerns and require timely assistance with basic needs and transportation. You also have your personal wants and job responsibilities.

Try to think objectively about whose needs are most urgent and whether or not you can delegate. Could someone else accompany your parent to an important doctor’s appointment while you take your daughter shopping for a prom dress? Would it be possible for someone else to pick the kids up from school so you can check on your mother who recently suffered a fall? Think about what your loved one would want you to do and which choice you will be most comfortable having made later. You must also come to accept that sometimes you simply have to say “no” without feeling remorse or overwhelming guilt.

Find efficiency where you can

There’s more than enough to do while you simultaneously support your child and care for aging parents. Streamlining those tasks whenever and wherever possible is a necessity. Little things can add up quickly, so look for even tiny tweaks you can make in your day. When communicating with family, reach out to everyone involved at once through a group text or email chain. If you’re in charge of coordinating care, create a centralized spreadsheet online that everyone involved can access and update. Plan your day to consolidate trips as much as possible; consider going to grocery stores and other businesses that are closer to where you need to be than your usual or preferred stops.

Ask others to pitch in

You are only one person, but you are not the only person capable of helping. Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for assistance. Most people are happy to help, but they aren’t sure what they should or can do. Let them know. Perhaps they could help with your older parent with shopping, help you with family meal planning or pitch in with transportation to and from school or doctor appointments. Even if someone isn’t close by, they can still help care for a parent when they come for an occasional visit or can contribute financially for respite care. And don’t undervalue the importance of simply having a sympathetic ear when you’re feeling stretched thin.

Balance caregiving and your career

If you are in a position to do so, speak with your employer about changing your schedule, working more flexible hours or going part-time for a little while. You could also ask to use any sick days and paid time off you have or even take unpaid leave. Through the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), certain employees are eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year without risking their jobs. FMLA policies are dependent on the length of time you’ve worked with your employer, the number of hours you work each week and your health insurance status, but it is something to consider and discuss.

Many employers also offer services in their benefit packages that can help find back-up day care or other resources. Speak with your human resources department to see if your company is involved with those types of programs.

Call in the professionals

Friends and other family members can be a great support network, but there will be times when other obligations make them unavailable or times when they need to be supported, too. It’s okay to reach out for professional help. This may look like respite care so you can take some time to recharge and care for yourself. It could be that you enlist the help of a grocery or meal delivery service or hire a tutor for your children.

Many people in the sandwich generation may find that housekeeping services prove most helpful; when your home environment is clean and organized, it can help put you in a better headspace, which makes it easier to handle your day-to-day responsibilities. If your parent’s care needs are more substantial, consider home health services. And don’t forget your needs – explore support groups to help manage your own physical, mental and emotional health.

Talk to someone

The simple act of stating your feelings out loud can have a big impact on your ability to manage those feelings. Lean on your spouse, siblings or a trusted confidant who has experienced your situation – or consider joining a support group. Having someone to relate to and knowing you’re not alone can be empowering. If you’re comfortable with doing so and financially able to, consider speaking with a professional. A therapist or counselor can help you look objectively at your feelings and work through negative emotions. It’s a safe place where you can let your guard down and learn coping skills that will benefit everyone.

Let yourself recharge

The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of everyone else. Self-care isn’t all spa days, meditation and pampering. Sometimes self-care is as simple as getting a full eight hours of sleep a night or taking time to prepare a healthy meal at home. If you function better when you hit the gym regularly or meet a friend for coffee once a week, don’t let go of that. Determine your non-negotiable needs, and make sure they are met. You matter, too, and you’ll be a better parent and caregiver if you prioritize yourself every once in a while.

Most importantly, show yourself compassion. Acknowledge that sometimes there will not be an even balance. Some weeks you will focus more on your spouse and children, others on your aging parent. Prioritize to the best of your ability, trust yourself to make good decisions and forgive yourself when you can’t do it all. This is also a good time to gently introduce your elderly parent to the benefits of a senior living community – it’s much easier to start this conversation when an immediate decision is not required, giving you both time to explore options together.

We’re always here to help

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with other senior living organizations and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family. Feel free to reach out to your local Atria Community Director today.

The only thing potentially more difficult than caring for parents as they age is discussing their care with the family. Facing the realization that the health or abilities of your parent is declining – along with a myriad of family dynamics paired with feelings of guilt and worry – can be a challenge.

In this helpful video, Melanie Bedell, Vice President of Sales at Atria, provides insight on how family dynamics may play a role in your parent’s care, and shares tips to make the discussion with your family go well.

In the eight steps below, find tips and techniques to thoughtfully approach the conversation about your parent’s care with your siblings.

8 steps to discuss an aging parent’s care with siblings

 

1. Plan a meeting
2. Ask your parent what they want
3. Share helpful info and examples
4. Communicate openly
5. Listen openly
6. Resist counterproductive behavior
7. Ask for help and manage expectations
8. Accept and forgive

Plan a meeting

Your family may be scattered across the globe, making spur-of-the-moment meetings seemingly impossible. Even if your siblings live relatively close, obligations of daily life can still be an obstacle, especially for those who are caring for children of their own.

“Everyone’s life is very busy, but nothing is more important than discussing your parent’s care – together,” said Bedell. “Because things don’t get easier as parents get older, they’re going to get harder.”

When and where convenient for all, schedule a face-to-face meeting to discuss care for your parent. The best time may be around the holidays or other occasions when the family typically comes together. If you have family who lives somewhere far away from your parent or you’re unable to arrange a time or place that works for everyone, consider setting up a video call through services like Zoom^®, Skype or FaceTime^®.

Don’t blindside anyone. Let everyone know the topic at hand, and try to include everyone in the discussion. Also, keep in mind that this should be the first of many meetings to come. Constant communication is key.

Ask your parent what they want

While alone with your mother or father, ask what he or she actually wants delicately but directly. Your parent deserves to be included in any decision that affects their life. Again, manage your expectations and be realistic. They may be saddened or resistant at the idea. Conversely, your parent may be more perceptive than you assumed.

“They may be saddened, but they may also be relieved,” said Bedell.

Let your parent’s response help influence and further guide your next steps.

Share helpful info and examples

If you are the primary caregiver or the most familiar with your elderly parent’s needs, be prepared to share or discuss challenges you are experiencing. Begin documenting incidents or things that concern you. If possible, plan to meet somewhere near your parent’s home so your siblings can visit and see things for themselves. Encourage them to spend a day with your parent and share their experiences.

It’s also important to share helpful info and examples of how caregiving may be affecting you. Has parent care caused you to miss work? Are you missing out on time with your own children and grandchildren? Are you experiencing adverse effects on your mental and physical health?

Communicate openly

Begin honest and respectful communication by leading by example. Express yourself clearly and try to stick to the facts. Write down your talking points to stay on track during the discussion.

While discussing your parent’s needs is understandably emotional, use the initial part of the discussion to build support around the main topic: the health, happiness and safety of the parent you love.

“It might get emotional at times, but reference back to why you’re all together to begin with: You want the best for your parent,” said Bedell.

Listen openly

This next tip is important: Invite your siblings to express their thoughts and listen without interrupting. Give everyone the opportunity to voice their emotions without immediately siding with them or invalidating how they feel.

By inviting input from your siblings, you show that their opinion is important. Ask open-ended questions at the end of the conversation: “What do you think is the best course of action?” or “How do you think we can best help Mom or Dad?” Listen to their responses, even if they have a radically different solution than your own.

Resist counterproductive behavior

There’s no guaranteed method on how to stop family disputes over aging parents, and that’s perfectly normal – it’s common for relatives to have disagreements.

Depending on the dynamics of your family, it may be easy to fall victim to finger-pointing, arguing and passive-aggressiveness, especially when triggered. Try to resist the temptation to fall into counterproductive behaviors by focusing on the issue, not the person.

Always assume the best intent. Your siblings may not align or agree on one single idea or care solution right away.

It’s okay.

Give everyone, and yourself, a chance to digest the information before reacting hastily. Remember, everyone has the same goal: the health and happiness of your parent.

Ask for help and manage expectations

Asking for help is hard, but you wouldn’t be here unless it was necessary. As the main caregiver, you must vocalize your need for support. Now is not the time to drop hints or mince words. How can siblings help with an aging parent? Be direct. Be clear about what you need. Most of all, be prepared. Write down tasks to delegate while managing your expectations and being realistic.

If a sibling lives in a different time zone, that person won’t be best for hands-on tasks, but they could provide relief by paying someone to do the jobs instead. If a sibling has a small child, they may have limited availability, but they could occasionally check in and visit. The sibling with poor financial habits should not handle money, but they may be the perfect person to keep your parent company when you need a break.

Don’t limit support to only physical activities. Include emotional support as well. How will you all lean on one another through difficult moments? While it may be too early to mention family therapy during the initial meeting, think about counseling down the road if necessary. Connecting with a geriatric care manager to discuss your unique situation is also an option to consider.

Accept and forgive

Alas, we cannot be all things to all people and the same holds true for our siblings. Accept your siblings for the help they are willing and capable of offering and forgive them for the support they cannot or will not provide.

Also, remain optimistic and do not shut down after the first sign of resistance. Give your siblings time to realize how they are capable of helping or contributing – even if it is something different than what you originally planned.

“Talking about your parent’s care can be challenging,” Bedell said. “But with a little bit of planning and patience, and open lines of communication, that challenge can be overcome.”

Our Guide on How to Talk to Your Siblings (PDF)

Ruth, Edith, and Lorraine, the centenarian “Golden Girls” of Atria West 86 in the Upper West Side of New York, have received a lot of media attention since celebrating their 100th birthdays together. Featured in People, ABC News, the New York Post, and other major outlets, the three friends raised three glasses of champagne together – commemorating the occasion, as well as having lived through the pandemic safely. As Ruth told People: “I think I was born under a lucky star. We’ve gone through this together. I’m just thankful I was here to get a vaccine.”

We decided to sit down with Ruth, Lorraine, and Edith to learn their secrets to leading a long happy life.

Ruth

After graduating from NYU’s School of Education, Ruth worked as an elementary-school teacher. Later in her career, she studied braille and taught visually impaired and disabled children. She’s passionate about golf, travel, opera, ballet – and all that New York City has to offer. Since she’s been at Atria West 86, Ruth has made lots of friends with both residents and employees alike. (“The staff is great!” she said.)

When asked about her greatest accomplishment, Ruth said, “My two children, of course.” Ruth – a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother – moved from Florida to Atria West 86 to be closer to her family. During the celebration at the community, which featured banners, balloons, a giant cake, and the Atria staff singing multiple renditions of “Happy Birthday,” Ruth was reunited with her son, Andrew, who flew in from California and saw his mother for the first time in two years because of COVID-related travel restrictions.

Ruth never misses an Atria West 86 social hour on the penthouse terrace, and she loves marveling at the New York skyline. This social butterfly’s senior lifestyle includes outings to concerts, guest lecture series, and opera recitals. “Life goes by too fast, so enjoy each day to the fullest,” Ruth said. “You have to laugh!”

Edith

Edith (AKA “Mitzi”) graduated from Brooklyn High School and the Packer Collegiate Institute in Brooklyn. She started her career as a secretary in the office of her future husband, an attorney, and is a lifelong lover of theater, traveling, concerts, and museums – especially the Museum of Natural History in New York.

Edith advised to not waste any time complaining. When asked what her most cherished accomplishments are, she answered immediately – her two daughters, who she said are devoted, kind, and loving. To Edith, family has always been her top priority.

Lorraine

An accomplished mezzo soprano with the Metropolitan Opera chorus in New York for 20 years, Lorraine performed with all the top singers of her day – including Robert Merrill, Renata Tebaldi, and Luciano Pavarotti. Today she remains an avid bridge player. Like Ruth, Lorraine is grateful for all the friendships she’s made at Atria, including with her Resident Services Assistant, Felicia, who she refers to as her “angel.”

The centenarian celebration also afforded Lorraine the opportunity to reconnect with her niece, who, due to the pandemic, she was only able to talk to over the phone or via Zoom. Lorraine also enjoyed going to a birthday lunch that her friends from the New York tennis circuit threw in her honor.

So what’s Lorraine’s advice? “Do what you love, what you’re passionate about, and commit to it – it should bring you tremendous joy!” she said. “It’s been a wonderful life.”

If you or someone you know wants to learn more about Atria, visit AtriaSeniorLiving.com/FindACommunity to discover the location nearest you.