Author: ecoyne

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Alzheimer’s & Dementia

Is memory care the right choice for my parent?

Son visiting mother in retirement home
Son visiting mother in retirement home

If your parent has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, you may be wondering when caring for them at home may no longer be a sustainable – or safe – option. While every situation is unique and should be discussed with a physician, your parent should stop living alone if they’re experiencing injuries, wandering outside the home or putting themselves in dangerous situations.

You may have heard about memory care but may not fully understand what it is, what types of services are available, how much it costs and whether it’s a better option than in-home care.

Memory care is a term that refers to very specialized, long-term dementia care for people with memory impairment. Many assisted living communities, continuing care retirement communities and nursing homes offer memory care services. Memory care communities may be a better option for your parent because they provide the type of daily care, attention and engagement that helps people with dementia live as fulfilling a life as possible.

Here are a few important things to consider when choosing a memory care community, along with some insights from Amber McDaniel, Divisional Engage Life Director at Atria, who not only advises families of parents living with dementia but is currently facing these same challenges with a member of her own family.

What makes memory care different?

Senior living community residents enjoy a host of amenities, services, programs and social events designed to make everyday life more convenient, fulfilling and engaging. Memory care communities offer a similar experience, but within a safe, structured environment with a specialized staff and programs designed to lower stress for people with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

“Memory care residents receive whatever assistance they may need with the activities of daily living,” says McDaniel. “The staff guides daily programs, serves meals and offers personalized interaction and support throughout the day.”

Memory care programs are designed to improve cognitive function and, in robust communities, are tailored to residents and their specific stage of disease. Staff members understand each resident’s degree of dementia and provide the structure and support needed to navigate their day.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, six in 10 people with dementia are prone to wander. Memory care communities typically feature floor plans and enclosed outdoor spaces designed to keep residents safe while not restricting their freedom. In many communities, interior spaces are painted in soothing colors and apartment doors are personalized with photos and mementos that resonate with residents and help them more easily identify their apartment. To prevent residents from wandering out of the community, any exits or elevators require special access codes. Some communities offer tracking bracelets to monitor a resident’s exact location.

Is my parent ready for memory care?

Although many people diagnosed with dementia can live on their own during the early stages of the disease, at some point they will require around-the-clock supervision or more specialized care than an in-home caregiver can provide. Here are some questions the Alzheimer’s Association suggests asking to help you determine if it’s the right time for a move to a memory care neighborhood.

Consider memory care a reset

McDaniel says that many families struggle when placing their parent in memory care because they feel like they’re giving up and abandoning them.

“I help families understand that memory care is a type of reset,” she says. “While we love our parents deeply, we can’t care for them the way they’ll be cared for by specially trained memory care staff. These professionals understand dementia and know how to establish the routines and use programs that not only help your parent cope with their disease but are designed to slow its progression.

“The reset comes from understanding that memory care establishes the new normal. You hand off the caregiver responsibilities to a team that’s devoted to helping people with dementia – and you become a supportive family member who helps your parent live their best possible life in an environment that caters to their special needs.”

How much does memory care cost?

The cost of memory care depends on the level of care needed and varies from state to state. According to this AARP article, the average memory care monthly rent is $6,935. While this is more than assisted living, which averages $5,380 a month, it’s a lot less than the $10,562 average monthly cost of a nursing home.

A financial expert or elder law attorney can help you explore finance options, including life insurance policies, Medicare and veterans benefits. The memory care community you are considering can also provide more information and resources.

We’re always here to help

Atria’s memory care neighborhoods provide the same high caliber of amenities, chef-prepared meals and engaging programs as our senior living communities, but they are designed specifically with the needs of individuals with dementia and their families in mind.

We’re happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can. Let us call on our relationships with trusted senior living organizations and help find the best solution for you and your family. Reach out to your local Atria community director today and they’ll be happy to help.

Our Quiz to Determine if Memory Care is the Right Choice for your Parent? (PDF)

Categories
Caregiving

Your parent was diagnosed with cancer: Now what?

Mom and daughter hugging on a couch

Despite the fact that nearly four out of every 10 Americans will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes, a cancer diagnosis is a bit like a sucker punch to the gut. It’s like it came out of nowhere, and the person who’s been diagnosed may feel shocked, confused and upset.

If your parent recently learned they have cancer, take time to research the diagnosis and proposed treatment. Learning the ins and outs of the cancer journey will lead to more clarity and, hopefully, less fear.

What to expect after a cancer diagnosis

It is impossible to predict exactly what you and your parent will face following a cancer diagnosis. After all, researchers have identified more than 100 types of cancer, each of which has its own treatment protocol.

Whatever type of cancer your parent has, it is natural to feel strong emotions – ranging from anxiety and depression to anger. Stress factors include side effects of cancer treatments, the costs of medical care and the abrupt (and sometimes permanent) change to your parent’s routine.

As you get your arms around your parent’s life with cancer, it’s best to be proactive. Here are some ways to start:

  • Learn. Learn as much as you can about the cancer. When possible, study the information together. Talk to your parent’s medical team about the diagnosis and treatment regimen. Understand the realities of life with cancer so you can tackle the disease with confidence.
  • Build a support system. Even though it’s your parent who has cancer, the experience can be overwhelming for the entire family. Put together a team of family, friends, caregivers and healthcare professionals who can provide emotional support or help care for your parent’s home (or pets) when they are in the hospital or not feeling well enough to maintain their home.
  • Talk. Confide in a family member, good friend or counselor. Consider joining a cancer support group, which can help you feel heard and understood. You can also ask your physician about support groups or where to find a medical social worker. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself or keep sadness, anger or confusion to yourself.
  • Gather your strength. Getting through cancer treatments can feel like running a marathon. It’s helpful to work on developing a mindset that is resilient as well as flexible.

10 things to do after a cancer diagnosis

Leading cancer treatments

Your parent’s treatment plan is based on the type of cancer and when it’s identified. Most people will receive more than one treatment. For example, some people may require surgery followed by chemotherapy and radiation therapy.

Here are some of the most common treatments and therapies for cancer:

  • Biomarker testing is performed to assess the condition so a doctor can recommend the best treatment protocol.
  • Chemotherapy is a drug treatment that destroys cancer cells. It is often used in combination with other treatments. Be sure to ask your parent’s doctor about side effects.
  • Certain breast and prostate cancers use hormones to grow and spread. Hormone therapy slows down or halts the growth of these cancers. Discus the pros and cons of this therapy with an oncologist.
  • Hyperthermia treatments heat up body tissue to damage and get rid of cancer cells – with little-to-no damage to normal tissue. This treatment is used on several kinds of cancers and pre-cancers.
  • Immunotherapy turns your immune system into a cancer fighter. Different types of immunotherapy are used against various kinds of cancer.
  • In photodynamic therapy, light is used to activate a cancer-killing drug. It’s typically used to target a specific area of the body.
  • Radiation therapy harnesses high doses of radiation to destroy cancerous cells. It can also shrink tumors.
  • Stem cell transplants restore cells that were killed during chemotherapy or radiation therapy. Stem cells are the building blocks that grow every type of cell – from blood cells to breast tissue.
  • Targeted therapy works by targeting changes in cancer cells that interrupt their ability to grow.

Also, depending on your parent’s cancer type, they may be eligible to take part in a clinical trial. Ask your care team if this might be an option.

What to consider for older adults

Age is a major risk factor for developing cancer. In fact, people over 65 are 11 times more likely to get cancer than those under 65.

When doctors treat older people with cancer, they often temper the therapies based on the individual’s overall health. Sometimes, cancer experts avoid treatments that might help because they worry about the person’s safety.

However, there may be a sea change in geriatric oncology. A growing number of clinicians are basing treatments on a person’s physiological age rather than their chronological age. Ask your parent’s doctor if there is anything related to age that will limit treatment options ­– and how that might affect the prospects for recovery.

What to do about treatment side effects

On top of the side effects of the cancer itself, your parent might have to live with treatment-related side effects. They could lose their appetite, have diarrhea, lose their hair, feel sick to their stomach, experience nerve issues, have trouble sleeping and more.

Treatment side effects can be unpredictable. Two different people with the same cancer might react differently. On the other hand, two very typical treatment side effects are fatigue and pain. Fatigue is a nearly universal effect of cancer treatment. Pain is often associated with chemotherapy, surgery and radiation.

Alert your parent’s doctor of any side effects – a treatment might be available. Work together with the healthcare team to help manage pain and find the right relief.

Side effects following treatment

People who survive cancer might experience side effects long after treatment ends. Oncologists refer to this as late effects, which may result from chemotherapy, hormone therapy, surgery, radiation, immunotherapy and targeted therapies. Many cancer survivors do not experience late effects.

Rehabilitation during and after treatment

Talk to your parent’s healthcare professional about cancer rehabilitation. These treatments may help your mom or dad improve physical vitality and emotional balance. Cancer rehabilitation specialists focus on enhancing endurance, building strength and increasing mobility. They also work to lessen fatigue and pain, reduce anxiety, and treat a number of cancer treatment side effects that tend to stick around. Managing pain and going through a rehabilitation regimen can lead to a faster, more effective recovery.

Staying connected with your parent

As if being diagnosed with cancer isn’t enough, your mom or dad’s illness could strain your relationship. When your parent is tired, stressed or in pain, they may not feel like talking much. They might also be worried about losing their independence and having their life turned upside-down. They could even insist they don’t need any help.

While it’s not easy, communicate regularly and honestly with your parent. Make sure they are involved in decisions about their treatment plan. Speak candidly about what’s going on while respecting how they feel.

Is it time for extra assistance?

Even when you have a strong, committed support team of family, friends and neighbors, there might come a time when your parent needs extra support.

If your parent becomes too weak physically to care for themselves, is making poor diet choices or has become withdrawn, don’t wait to reach out for professional help.

Some people who have had cancer do well with in-home care. Others get exactly what they need in an assisted living community. In fact, why not consider a short-term stay at Atria? This might make a perfect transition following hospitalization or a rehab stay. Locate an Atria community near you.

Atria Senior Living is here to help

With more than 25 years of experience serving families like yours, we are happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can to help your parent live a fulfilling life after a cancer diagnosis.

Let us call on our relationships with trusted senior living professionals to help you find the best solution for your parent.

Feel free to reach out to your local Atria community director today.

Cancer recovery checklist for seniors (PDF)

Categories
Caregiving

Your parent had a stroke: What’s next?

“You’ve had a stroke.” When your parent hears these words, their reaction – and yours – might include shock, denial and fear.

First? Take a deep breath – literally and figuratively. Acknowledge the uncertainty and anxious thoughts, and then steady yourself and know that many have traveled this road before. Modern protocols – based on decades of experience with millions of stroke survivors – inform us on best practices for treating a stroke and up the odds for successful rehabilitation.

What to ask if your parent is still in the hospital 

Be proactive. Ask your parent’s medical team to share important information, such as:

  • What type of stroke did your parent have? If it was an ischemic stroke, ask if clot-reducing medications have been used.
  • If your parent wound up in intensive or acute care, ask about the stroke’s severity and how that might impact recovery.
  • Before being discharged, be sure to ask the medical staff about the suggested rehabilitation plan. Make sure you understand their assessment of the likely long-term effects the stroke has caused. Major symptoms include:
    • Cognitive issues (memory challenges, having trouble speaking)
    • Physical issues (weakness, paralysis, trouble swallowing, trouble sleeping, extreme fatigue)
    • Emotional issues (depression, anxiety)

What happens after your parent returns home?

Once Mom or Dad gets home, make sure you are aware of the lingering problems that may persist following a stroke. The hospital team will share everything they’ve observed before discharging your parent. Some symptoms, however, might become noticeable as your parent settles in at home. Keep a watchful eye out for conditions such as:

  • Muscle weakness, paralysis or balance problems
  • Physical sensations including numbness, tingling and burning
  • Pain
  • Unusual tiredness
  • Incontinence
  • Speech issues
  • Trouble swallowing
  • Memory or attention problems
  • Eyesight complaints
  • Denial relating to the severity of the stroke

If you see any of the above, or your parent says they don’t feel right – which could range from any of the symptoms listed above to feelings of loneliness – don’t wait. Alert your parent’s care providers immediately. Just as time is of the essence when a stroke first happens, rapidly addressing any emergent issues will enhance the prospects for optimal recovery.

10 tips to support your parent after a stroke

What factors impact recovery?

According to the American Stroke Association, stroke recovery happens on multiple fronts. The degree of recovery depends on:

  • The location of the stroke in the brain
  • The percentage of the brain impacted by the stroke
  • How motivated the person is to get better
  • How committed and skilled the caregivers are
  • How healthy the person was before the stroke

When does recovery peak? The period of fastest recovery is typically in the first three to six months following the stroke. However, this isn’t a hard and fast rule. Some people continue to get better one or even two years later.

Special considerations for elderly stroke patients

The older we get, the greater our risk of experiencing a stroke. About half of all strokes happen to people older than 75. Older adults often stay in the hospital longer and find recovery more difficult. Ask your parent’s medical team to identify any age-related challenges and how they might affect rehabilitation, and what the plan is to maximize recovery. You will also want to discuss any physical conditions that might change the course of rehabilitation, including cognitive impairment and incontinence.

While strokes may cause great harm to the body, research indicates that the brain can bounce back. Neurons may begin to regenerate just a few days after a stroke – even in the brains of older adults.

Make sure to compare notes with your parent’s healthcare team about the impact of their age on their recovery and quality of life.

Create the conditions for recovery while reducing the risk of another stroke

There’s a lot you can do to keep your parent safer and healthier as recovery continues. Follow these tips:

  • Review your parent’s prescriptions. Learn about possible side effects, some of which might increase due to the stroke. Make sure they take the correct doses of each medication at the appropriate times.
  • Assess whether their home should be “stroke proofed.” Consider your parent’s symptoms and whether any inconveniences or hazards need adjusting.
  • Stroke-related falls are quite common, and your parent might be at an increased risk. Be sure to address potential tripping hazards. Should your parent experience a serious fall with significant pain, bleeding or bruising, get them to a hospital immediately. If your parent falls repeatedly, consult with a doctor or physical therapist.
  • To lower the chances of another stroke, be mindful about your parent’s diet. If your parent is healthy enough to exercise, support them in committing to a regular program.

The role of physical therapy

A plan for physical therapy, if recommended, is established before your parent leaves the hospital. The discharge papers will outline a physical therapy protocol. The hospital staff may also share resources for physical therapy.

Look for a physical therapist who is experienced with stroke rehabilitation – ideally, a stroke recovery specialist who is skilled in helping people with coordination issues, balance problems and other conditions that impact quality of life.

Ask questions about the program and its goals, along with a therapy timetable. Make sure you and your parent understand the plan and are clear on how to follow it.

What about occupational therapy?

Occupational therapy might help your parent rebuild life skills following a stroke. When the connection between the brain, nerves and muscles is compromised, occupational therapy can teach alternative methods for completing daily activities. This might include speaking and communication, walking and getting dressed, eating, writing, bathing, and toileting. The overriding goal will be to help your parent regain as much independence as possible.

How to promote positive outcomes for stroke rehabilitation

Here are the main factors that contribute to a successful stroke rehabilitation program:

  • How badly did the stroke damage the brain?
  • How old is your parent?
  • What is their level of alertness?
  • How intense can the rehab program be?
  • Does your parent have other medical conditions? If so, how serious are they?
  • Can the home be outfitted for safety and independence, with additions like stair railings and grab bars?
  • Are family and friends on board and ready to be supportive?
  • How soon can rehabilitation begin?

How to keep the lines of communication open with your parent 

A stroke can be stressful, even for the best parent-child relationship. A decline in your mother or father’s physical abilities, changes to the way they live their life, and challenges to their independence may cause significant emotional turmoil.

The best way to address the situation is straight on. Regularly ask your parent how they are feeling. Involve them in their recovery and care decisions. Be respectful of their feelings – but always speak the truth.

If your parent is experiencing communication problems due to the stroke, follow these guidelines:

  • Practice patience
  • Create a quiet zone with a minimum of distractions (e.g., lower the volume on the TV or turn it off)
  • When possible, ask questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no”
  • Don’t raise your voice or speak too softly
  • Slow down and give your parent time to process what you are saying
  • Listen to what your parent has to say and make sure they know you understand
  • Don’t answer questions for your parent; give them time to respond 

The value of a strong social network 

The demands of a hospital stay and the initial weeks of a rehabilitation program may find you, your family and your parent stretched to the limit. That’s why it’s important to assemble a “home team” of family, friends and neighbors who are committed to your parent’s recovery.

The home team can also help your parent avoid social isolation. Even a short in-person visit or a phone call from a friend keeps your parent engaged and can help them maintain a positive mental outlook to strengthen recovery.

Don’t go at it alone

Your parent suffered the stroke, but you are going through this, too. It can be emotionally draining, and many children of older adults who’ve had strokes often shove their emotions to the side and power through the situation. Yes, develop your courage muscles as part of being a good partner for your parent. However, being strong doesn’t mean treating your emotions like a doormat. Acknowledge uncomfortable feelings, but don’t say “I’m fine” when you’re not. Keep in mind what flight crews always say: “Should we experience a drop in pressure, secure the oxygen mask over your nose and mouth before helping others.” Meaning: Taking care of your parent requires looking after yourself, too.

The long and winding road to recovery: Six months and beyond

 From here on out, further recovery is a possibility, but progress will likely be slower. Is full recovery possible? For some, the answer is yes. Others learn to adjust to their limitations and live happy, fulfilling lives.

While recovery might be more or less complete, staying in contact with your parent’s healthcare team is an essential part of remaining healthy and lowering the chance of another stroke. Team members might include:

  • Your parent’s primary care doctor
  • A rehabilitation physician (also known as a physiatrist)
  • Physical and occupational therapists
  • A neurologist
  • A rehabilitation psychologist

Speak with your parent’s doctor’s office to identify the right team of professionals for your situation.

When your parent needs more help

We all value our independence. If all goes well, your parent might bounce back to resume most or all of the activities they enjoyed prior to the stroke. On the other hand, the time may come when Mom or Dad needs more help than can be provided by you, family members or friends.

If your parent is no longer engaged socially, eating well or staying active, it might be time for professional assistance. Some people who have had strokes do well with in-home care; others get exactly what they need in an assisted living community.

Is assisted living the right choice for your parent? Try a short-term stay at Atria. This might make a perfect transition following a hospitalization or rehab stay.  Locate an Atria community near you.

Atria Senior Living is here to help

With more than 25 years of experience serving families like yours, we specialize in a well-rounded approach to healthy living – providing discreet, professional care. We are happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can to help your parent live a fulfilling life after a stroke.

Let us call on our relationships with trusted senior living professionals to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your parent.

Feel free to reach out to your local Atria community director today.

Stroke recovery checklist for seniors (PDF)

Categories
Alzheimer’s & Dementia

Questions to ask when choosing a memory care community

Senior woman and her adult daughter looking at photo album together on couch in living room
Senior woman and her adult daughter looking at photo album together on couch in living room

Having a parent diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia is an emotional experience – one that is often fraught with stress and anxiety. Despite your best intentions to care for your parent at home, at some point they will require around-the-clock assistance from a memory care community.

This list of questions – along with insights from Abby Figueroa, Atria’s Senior Vice President of Functional Operations – can help you choose a memory care community that is the best fit for you and your parent.

What are your parent’s needs?

The stage and type of dementia your parent has will determine the type of memory care services needed. Keep in mind that if your parent is in the early stages of dementia, you should consider a community that can provide more advanced care as the disease progresses.

When you visit memory care communities, let them know if your parent:

  • Needs help with activities of daily living (getting dressed, using the bathroom, eating)
  • Exhibits negative behavior (anger, agitation, aggression)
  • Is easily disoriented, seeks exits for no apparent reason, wanders off or gets lost
  • Requires a walker or wheelchair
  • Requires 24-hour supervision
  • Needs ongoing medical attention or treatments (dialysis, diabetes, colostomy care)

According to the National Institute on Aging, if your parent needs 24-hour supervised nursing care, a nursing home may be a better choice than a memory care community.

How does the memory care community approach resident interaction?

When Figueroa talks to families about choosing a memory care community, she says this may be one of the most important factors to consider.

“The memory care staff becomes a second family to your parent, so you want to really look closely at how the staff interacts with residents,” says Figueroa. “Does the relationship feel relaxed and comfortable? Does the staff know the residents’ names? Personal histories? Likes and dislikes?”

Figueroa emphasizes getting to know the staff and their approach.

“Ask what kind of specialized training they receive,” says Figueroa. “Along with the training, observe how they relate to the residents. Does their approach come from empathy, understanding and kindness? Do they relate to residents at their level of understanding? Are they able to smoothly redirect any negative behavior?”

Questions related to staff interaction:

  • What type of dementia care training do they receive?
  • What dementia techniques do they use?
  • Is a resident cared for by the same staff members every day?
  • How do staff members care for residents who are physically aggressive or those who exhibit disruptive behaviors?

As dementia training requirements vary by state, ask what kind of training or certification is required, and whether the staff receives ongoing training.

What is the memory care environment?

Figueroa advises that when visiting a memory care community, take note of the design and layout. Is it easy for residents to move from their apartments to common areas? Are the colors and textures soothing? Are the spaces warm and inviting? Is there a secure outside area for residents to enjoy a change of scenery and fresh air? Are residents’ apartment doors personalized so they can easily identify them?

How safe is the environment? Are the spaces free of clutter? Do the hallways and bathrooms have handrails? As people living with dementia are prone to wandering, any doors or elevators leading outside the community must be secure.

Check for these top safety features:

  • 24-hour supervised care
  • Emergency call buttons
  • Keypad entry
  • Alarms on emergency exits
  • Interior courtyard for secure wandering
  • Easily navigated hallways
  • 24-hour nurse
  • A visiting physician
  • Access to medical services
  • A good staff-to-resident ratio day and night
  • Automatic lights in the bathrooms
  • Low grab bars or handrails to improve stability

What memory care activities are offered?

Once the memory care community’s staff and environment pass your scrutiny, it’s time to take a closer look at programs for residents. Engaging the minds of people living with dementia not only brings them joy, but it can also stimulate cognitive function and slow the progression of their disease.

Learn what types of memory care activities the community offers. Are the programs passive or do they offer real opportunities for residents to engage? Do they provide a sense of purpose and enjoyment?

Memory care activities may include:

  • Puzzles and board games
  • Music programs
  • Sensory and tactile stimulation
  • Pet visits
  • Gardening
  • Painting
  • Cooking
  • Going on outings to parks or community events

“People with dementia can still grow and have fulfilling experiences,” says Figueroa. “Be sure that the community you choose offers a variety of programs and activities that stimulate the mind and the senses.

“Living in the moment is critical to successfully relating to someone with dementia. So, if that day’s particular program does not appeal to a resident, it’s important that the community can adjust or quickly pivot to a different program or activity they enjoy. It’s understanding the resident at that specific moment, and then customizing that moment to their current mood and needs.”

How is the overall resident well-being?

A soothing environment, professionally trained staff and engaging programs go a long way to fostering residents’ mental well-being – so take these all into account when comparing different memory care communities.

Learn how the community addresses the residents’ physical well-being, as well. Dementia can also affect a person’s appetite and how they relate to food, so learn how the community approaches resident nutrition. Are small bites available throughout the day? How does the staff help with meals? Do they keep track of how much each resident is eating and provide gentle reminders when necessary?

Well-being is also strengthened by personal relationships. Ask if the community provides opportunities for residents to connect with the world. Do they have multigenerational programs or invite grade school children to perform?

One final tip

Once you’ve narrowed down your search, ask the communities if any of the residents’ family members can contact you to discuss their experience – it always helps to hear what other families have gone through and what their experience is like.

We’re always here to help

Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can. Reach out to your local Atria Community Director for assistance. If needed, they’ll call on their relationships with trusted senior living organizations to help find the best solution for you and your family.

Questions to Ask When Choosing a Memory Care Community (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Emergency preparedness for older adults

Senior woman using home automation touch screen panel in home
Senior woman using home automation touch screen panel in nursing home

Severe weather, power outages, your older parent wandering off and getting lost or falling in the home – the importance of emergency preparedness for older adults cannot be overstated. This is especially true when it comes to medical emergencies, as they occur more frequently. Read our guide and customize it for your parent’s unique needs.

Make medical information accessible

Healthcare professionals provide the best, most appropriate treatment when they have up-to-date medical information. Keep all documents showing diagnoses and medications in an easily accessible location in the home should you, EMS technicians or someone else need them.

What if your parent is away from home or can’t communicate with hospital staff? Purchase a personalized medical ID bracelet for your parent to help doctors understand their health history at a glance. If jewelry isn’t an option, place a small card with vital information in their purse or wallet.

Consider a mobile app for you and your parent that allows instant access to records. Many hospitals and healthcare providers offer free mobile apps that aggregate all medical information and doctors’ notes from appointments. Ask your parent’s physician for more information.

Prevent and prepare for falls

Falls are typically the medical emergencies that pose the greatest risk for older adults. To keep your aging parent as safe as possible, clear the home of tripping hazards. Then, inform your parent about what to do if they fall while in the home alone. Any in-home service providers and family members who assist with caregiving should be informed on what to do as well.

In case of a fall, your parent should wait a moment to ensure there is no serious bleeding, or injuries to the head or body, before moving or being moved. If they are injury free, they may roll onto their hands and knees and then stand, but they should find a place to sit immediately after. If there is injury, bleeding or head trauma, call 911. If your parent falls often, consider a wearable device that signals an emergency service for seniors at the touch of a button.

Know when to call EMS

Emergency medical professionals are your first line of defense when it comes to urgent situations. Many older adults often call a family member when something happens, delaying the critical treatment they may need. Encourage your parent to call EMS first, before you or another family member, especially if they are experiencing any of the following:

  • Serious injury from a fall
  • Trouble breathing or shortness of breath when at rest
  • Chest pain
  • Symptoms of a heart attack (pain in the jaw, neck, back or chest, weakness and shortness of breath)
  • Symptoms of stroke (face drooping, arm weakness and speech difficulty)
  • Sudden severe lightheadedness
  • Severe allergic reaction
  • Bleeding that won’t stop
  • Bleeding with weakness
  • Headache, vomiting and dizziness following a head injury

Consider registering your parent’s phone for Smart911, a free national service that allows emergency dispatchers to see caller’s location information and more whenever they dial 911.

What to do when it’s not an emergency

If your parent calls EMS frequently, they may need support for medical non-emergencies such as:

  • Small cuts without excessive bleeding
  • Bruising following an accident
  • Falls without serious injuries
  • Mild persistent headaches
  • Illness symptoms like low-grade fevers and fatigue
  • Non-severe signs of medication mismanagement

Create a text group just for your parent and include other family members and trusted individuals they can message for non-emergency support. If your parent uses a landline phone, post a list of phone numbers on their refrigerator for easy access.

Instead of turning to the ER first, ask your parent to go to their nearest urgent care center. Many areas offer NEMT or non-medical emergency transportation services. Check the availability of these services in their area and if their insurance covers the cost.

Utilize emergency response services for seniors

No emergency preparedness plan for seniors is complete without access to a personal emergency response system. Usually in the form of a pendant or bracelet, this technology allows your parent to contact the help they need if they can’t make it to their phone. Some service providers may even send you an alert when activated.

Emergency services for seniors have come a long way since the parodied commercials of the past. Wi-Fi connection, GPS, fitness tracking, fall detection and smart home accessories are just a few of the tech enhancements you can expect to see across a spectrum of brands.

Disaster preparedness for older adults

Unlike medical emergencies, many disasters are unavoidable and generally out of our control, but a few well-placed preparations can keep your parent safe.

Assess the risks

If your parent has lived in the same home or general location for years, you’re familiar with the most common disasters. Are power outages usual during extreme weather? Do hurricanes or ice storms often occur?

Research the local evacuation plan or shelter protocols. Sign your parent up to receive mobile weather alerts. The FEMA app sends real-time weather notifications, shelter information and other vital information during disasters.

Assess where your parent lives, address any fire hazards and make sure the home is ready for severe weather. This preparation may include:

  • Installing a power generator
  • De-icing walkways ahead of winter
  • Servicing HVAC units ahead of summer
  • Checking gas-powered appliances for maintenance or repairs
  • Placing a fire extinguisher in the kitchen
  • Inspecting carbon monoxide and smoke detectors

Check their coverage

Insurance is often forgotten until it’s needed most. Verify your parent has coverage for any natural disaster or man-made catastrophe. Speaking of coverage, make sure you have a supportive network in place should your parent ever need shelter, someone to call or a safety check during an emergency. Consider siblings, relatives, neighbors and individuals you and your parent trust. Share their contact information with your parent and keep a copy for yourself.

Have a senior emergency kit

Your parent’s emergency kit may look a little different from the one you have at home. In addition to the essentials – flashlight, batteries, a cell phone power bank, bottled water, nonperishable food and a first aid kit – stock it with emergency supplies for older adults.

A few things to consider are:

  • A list of important contact information
  • Glasses
  • Hearing aids with extra batteries
  • At least a week’s worth of medication
  • Medical supplies like syringes or a back-up oxygen tank
  • Assistive devices like a cane or rollator
  • Medical documents including prescriptions, insurance information and allergy information

Plan and practice together

Preparation is paramount, however, when cortisol levels rise, it’s easy to forget a plan ever existed. Whether it’s evacuation protocol, using an app or establishing an escape route in case of a housefire, take time to create disaster preparedness plans with your parent. Make it simple and as easy to remember as possible.

Rehearse escape routes together and make adjustments when necessary. Check in and gently remind your parent of their safety plans when winter, hurricane season or other seasonal severe weather is approaching. Review and update their emergency contacts about every six months.

Assisted living emergency preparedness

Many caregivers find peace of mind knowing that, should an emergency ever strike, their family member is in the safety and security of a senior living community.

With more than 25 years of experience, Atria Senior Living has faced a number of emergencies and disasters that have put plans to the test. Should a situation escalate, Atria’s National Emergency Response Team is always ready to assist communities in need.

Because of their reliability and safety, senior living communities are popular for many older adults during peak severe weather seasons. Many turn to Atria for short-term stays during winter, when slips and falls are more likely, and summer, when power outages, wildfires and heat strokes are common. An excellent option for those recovering from an illness or surgery, short-term stays help deter medical emergencies and reduce hospital readmittance.

Find out more about the  care services  Atria offers – for residents and short-term stay guests alike.

Want to learn more about Atria? Visit the community nearest you.

Emergency preparedness checklist for seniors (PDF)

Categories
Financials

6 Tips for discussing finances with your parent

Cropped shot of an attractive young woman sitting and explaining financial documents to her grandmother in their home
Cropped shot of an attractive young woman sitting and explaining financial documents to her grandmother in their home

Discussing money matters is taboo for many. If this rings true for you, then questioning an older parent or family member about how they plan on paying for senior care – no matter how well intentioned – is potentially even more difficult.

“Some adult children say, ‘I really can’t talk about money, it’s not a comfortable topic for us.’ But it’s a necessary conversation,” says Sheridan Daniel, Vice President of Operations and Product Development at Atria Senior Living. “However, with aging parents, the conversation about health and finances will either be done by plan or by crisis.”

1. Consider your relationship dynamics

Take a moment to reflect on your general experience and interactions with your parent, especially around the topic of money. Throughout your life, has your parent openly discussed financial matters such as debt, investments and budgeting? Is your mother or father comfortable asking questions about your future plans or offering advice (both solicited and unsolicited) about money? Have they voluntarily approached the topic of living wills and estate planning?

“You need to know the approach you can take with your parents,” says Daniel. “I remember talking about wills and topics like that with my mother when she was in her 60s. When she worked, I knew what her salary was. I knew what her insurance was. She was open with those things.”

Allow your relationship to craft your approach, and maneuver around any predictable sensitivities. If, despite your best efforts, your parent still resists, there are ways to overcome their reluctance.

2. Understand it’s not all about money

At its heart, a conversation about money is not one-hundred-percent about money. It’s about the life your parent wishes – and can realistically afford – to have. If your parent still works, how do they envision retirement? Generally speaking, what legacy would they like to leave behind? In case of a medical emergency, who is their health care proxy? Have they considered a power of attorney?

“Don’t talk about just money. Talk about the big picture, and make sure your parent feels a sense of control of what’s going on,” says Daniel. “It has to be what they envision. Discuss their retirement goals and what it will take to achieve them, and work from there.”

Open the conversation by asking about their opinion on assisted living. Ask for advice about financial planning for retirement and other relevant topics to get the dialogue flowing. Sharing your own plans and ideas or referencing current events and anecdotes about others are easy icebreakers and ways you can gauge how your parent may feel about more in-depth conversations later.

3. Don’t put off talking about it

If your parent is thriving and handling their finances well, they may feel it is too soon to discuss such matters. However, it’s never too early to approach your parent about finances and care. If possible, do it while your parent is at ease and in the best of physical and cognitive health.

“I either see one or the other: Somebody has planned it out very neatly beforehand or something devastating has happened – and no one wants to discuss finances with a parent who is hospitalized or dealing with a loss,” says Daniel.

Gently explain the importance and advantage of being proactive instead of reactive. Reassure your parent they are still in control of their finances and that you’d like to start thinking about it while they can make clear, intentional decisions and not after something goes wrong.

4. Approach gently and do your homework beforehand

Before digging into your parent’s financial information, do your research.

“If your parent has assets, they got them by being smart and financially savvy. Show that you’ve done some research while taking into account how they envision things,” says Daniels. “They’re going to want to be a part of that. I’ve seen many children foster trust and respect with their parents when they freely share their findings with them.”

Whether your parent envisions a retirement community, living in the family home for the rest of their life or uprooting to the Caribbean, lay out that research for them.

Where’s the easiest place to start? The Internet. Start with a simple search: “Is there financial planning for assisted living?,” “How much does it cost to live in a senior living community?”, “Real estate in Jamaica,” “The cost of at-home senior care,” and so on.

Consider these relevant topics as you research:

5. Consult with your family and supportive network

Your parent shared their vision for retirement and granted you financial access. Now what? Even with all of the knowledge about what an older adult wants, there’s little one can do without being appointed as power of attorney (POA) and/or health care proxy.

If your parent hasn’t appointed a POA and/or a health care proxy and the family has conflicting opinions and expectations, it’s fair for these emotions to be amplified when the topic is approached.

“When you don’t communicate with the full support structure, it can turn into a quagmire. Also, you may think, ‘I’m the oldest son in my family. I have decisions that I can make,’ but your mother has a sister, and if you don’t talk to her, then it’s going to be a battle,” Daniel says. “Then, the power of attorney process turns stagnant. Nothing happens.”

If you’re able to approach these critical topics while your parent is in good health and emotionally stable, do so gently. Remind your parent that you want what’s best for them and, ultimately, it’s about what they want. Manage your expectations and encourage other relatives to do the same. Don’t assume the responsibility will be handed to you.

“Some older adults may say to their child, ‘Hey, I don’t need you to control my money. I have an accountant who I trust, so the money’s fine. But I don’t trust my accountant with my health. So, here’s my health care proxy,’” Daniel says.

If this happens, give it a week or two and schedule time to revisit the conversation in person with all involved parties until a decision has been made. Tap into their doctor, financial adviser, elder care attorney and geriatric care manager for support and expertise when planning what’s best for your parent and their finances.

6. Handle crisis directly and with care

Hopefully, you can approach your parent while they are making well-informed financial decisions on their own and able to engage in meaningful conversations about their future. However, be aware of these signs that indicate more immediate action is needed regarding an older adult’s care and finances:

  • You’re worried about their safety when alone
  • You’re worried or concerned about their health, especially if they have a progressive disease or they’ve had a recent accident or fall
  • The condition of their home has become concerning or unsafe
  • They often forget to pay bills or seem to be struggling financially
  • They are possibly exhibiting early signs of dementia or cognitive impairment

“Being direct is going to be important. Sensitive, respectful, but direct,” says Daniel.

“If someone is in the early stages of dementia, then I will direct the family to speak to their doctor and a geriatric care manager, and then an elder care attorney. This is a scary thing for an aging parent. They know what’s happening to them and they still have very clear moments. When they have those clear moments, you have to express what the plan is.”

Atria is always here to help

Allowing another person to comb through their personal financial details – even a well-intentioned adult child – can be difficult for your parent. Allow your parent time to work through this process, even if they are reluctant to share details.

Also, anticipate having this conversation more than once. Financial planning for retirement is a lot of work and it’s unlikely to accomplish everything in one day. If you need assistance, tap into the trusted professionals at Atria Senior Living. The dedicated employees at our senior living communities have connected thousands of families like yours to the expertise they need. Stop by for a visit or contact your nearest community for a personal consultation.

Guide to Discussing Senior Living Financing with your Parent (PDF)

Categories
Caregiving

Billie Jean King: How to help your parent find joy

Older man smiling while playing the piano and friends clap around him

“There’s no greater satisfaction and joy than boldly being yourself or redefining a life chapter – at any age.” – Billie Jean King

I’m often asked how I keep a positive attitude when faced with the occasional setback. My answer is simple. Each day, I embrace life, pursue purpose and seek adventure.

This same approach applies to rekindling a sense of fun in older adults, including those challenged by physical or mental setbacks. Here’s how to help an older parent rediscover passion and joy in their life.

Embrace life

 “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” – Kurt Vonnegut

Maybe it’s making a favorite pie from scratch, playing fetch with a dog or simply dressing up for a night on the town. Embracing simple pleasures is a delightful way to cultivate moments of joy in everyday life. Encourage your parent to rekindle their passions and offer any needed support if you can – gather ingredients for cooking, gift them with a fresh set of pet toys or join them for a fancy dessert at a favorite coffee house.

Do you know what else helps us embrace life? A playful spirit. Scientists have recognized that play contributes to physical and emotional health and is a source of relaxation and brain stimulation. Consider simple games you can play together – or even over the phone – like Wordle or crossword puzzles. There are some hilarious guessing and trivia games that can be played with smartphone apps.

As so many of life’s experiences are shaped by our attitude, it’s important to be positive. Should your parent dwell on the negative, encourage them to talk about what’s going well in their lives. If they need prompting, recall a cherished memory you have of your parent and encourage them to elaborate on the story.

It’s important we don’t take things personally. When someone says something negative, it’s usually more about them than about you.

Pursue purpose

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” – Oprah Winfrey

Purpose is important. It gives us something to look forward to each day. It also gives us something positive to reflect on, something to share, something to be proud of. Purposeful living has also been proven to help older adults live healthier, longer lives. As we age, so much changes – we may lose our spouse, we retire, our health declines and so on – it’s easy to lose touch with what we’re passionate about.

Seek opportunities for your parent to become involved in the local community or ways they can use their talents to help causes they consider worthwhile or important. If they are a veteran, reach out to your local VA and inquire about volunteer opportunities. If they love children, consider having your parent host story time at their local library or knit blankets for a pediatric hospital. If they are extroverted, consider Meals on Wheels or other organizations that help isolated adults. Fun comes in many forms, and helping others is one of them.

Giving back is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life. Making a difference in the lives of others can happen at so many levels. Older adults have amazing experiences to share; sometimes, they just need an invitation to join the conversation.

Be adventurous

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” – Albert Einstein

Anyone who follows my social media posts knows that my tennis career and activism have provided wonderful opportunities to see the world – but we don’t always have to travel far to find fun and adventure. The secret is fostering a sense of curiosity in everyday life.

As a young child, I used to drive my parents crazy with all the questions I had about everything. Keeping a curious mind as an older adult opens the door to new possibilities. We can help older adults cultivate a curious spirit in many ways. Eat at a restaurant serving food they’ve never heard of, sign up for music lessons or a community college course, or try their hand at pottery or watercolor.

While routines are comforting, breaking out of our comfort zone and trying new things can be the exhilarating reminder that there is so much more to life than our daily routines. Again, tap into that playful spirit. See what nearby events or activities are happening throughout the week and encourage your parent to invite a friend or family member to join.

A community filled with fun opportunities

When my partner and I were looking for the right senior living community for my mother-in-law, we were drawn to the inviting environment at Atria Senior Living. Atria offered the support she needed as well as events and opportunities to socialize with others her age. We watched her grow, stay active and rediscover what it meant to engage with the world. If you’re interested, stop by a community for a visit. Visitors are always welcome and encouraged to sit down for lunch or attend an event.

Ready for a fun quiz? Take it now. (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Billie Jean King: Myths about aging

Older woman gardening at Atria Senior Living

“Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” ‬– Betty Friedan‬ ‪‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬

Being Atria’s Well-Being Coach has taught me how important it is to foster a positive attitude as we age and dispel the negative stereotypes of aging.

Forgetful, bumbling and always complaining about aches and pains – we see these exaggerated portrayals in movies all the time. But such negative stereotypes can be damaging to older adults’ self-identity and can even be harmful to their physical health. Ageism is not inclusive and it’s often divisive.

The truth is, many people have reported a renewed sense of vitality as they age. One’s mood and well-being, and even certain types of intelligence, can actually enhance over time. It’s important to embrace these positive aspects of aging.

Let’s look at some of these common misconceptions from the National Institute on Aging. If you’re a younger adult, understanding these myths can help you be more supportive of the older adults you care about. If you’re an older adult, being mindful of these myths could help protect your well-being.

Myth: It’s normal for older adults to be lonely and depressed

It’s true that many people, including older adults, experience loneliness, which can make them feel sad, anxious and depressed. But there are many positive emotional benefits to growing older, including the richness of enduring friendships and cherished memories formed over a lifetime.

Although older adults are susceptible to loneliness, studies show they are less likely to be depressed than younger adults. Still, it is important to understand the warning signs as loneliness can lead to more serious health issues.

One way to combat loneliness is by being socially active. However, making friends does not come naturally for everyone. A good first step is to attend an event or activity where you can engage with others who share a similar passion or life experience – and then make a genuine effort to reach out to at least one person. Sometimes even the smallest gesture, like simply introducing yourself and initiating small talk, can lead to a cherished, lifelong friendship.

Relationships are everything. Your relationship with yourself, your family and friends, your community, and your faith are all vital to happy, healthy living.

Myth: Older adults can’t learn new things

Our physical and mental fitness change as we age, but that doesn’t mean older adults lose the ability to learn and sharpen cognitive abilities. Research has shown that older adults who learn a new skill, like knitting or digital photography, experience improvement to their memory.

Trying new things helps improve well-being, especially if it fosters social connection with others. Seek group opportunities to keep your mind and body active like joining a book club, taking a dance class, playing trivia or volunteering at a community garden.

There are also ways for older adults with mobility issues to stay actively engaged. Reading or listening to audiobooks can improve memory, reduce stress and delay cognitive decline. Volunteering for community projects is another way to stay engaged and feel a sense of purpose.

It’s important we keep learning, and learning how to learn. Knowledge is good health.

Myth: Older adults should take it easy

Scientific studies show that the benefits of being active far outweigh the negatives. Staying physically active improves your mental and physical health – and can help manage chronic conditions. It also improves balance and stability to avoid falls, which supports staying independent as we age. And for those with mobility challenges, there are seated exercise and chair yoga routines. No matter your age, mobility or health condition, there is some type of physical activity for everyone.

Learn how you can improve your well-being and maintain mobility as you age with healthy habits.

Myth: Dementia is inevitable for older adults

The risk of dementia may rise as we grow older, but it’s not a given that it will affect everyone. Many people in their 90s and beyond never experience the declines in thinking and behavior that are associated with dementia. The risk of having Alzheimer’s disease may be higher if there is a family history of dementia, but having a parent with Alzheimer’s does not necessarily mean that someone will develop the disease.

While there is currently no effective treatment or proven prevention of Alzheimer’s and related dementias, it’s possible to reduce the risks of developing memory impairment by leading a healthy lifestyle, including:

  • Control high blood pressure
  • Manage blood sugar
  • Maintain a healthy weight
  • Eat a healthy diet
  • Stay mentally active
  • Stay socially connected
  • Stop smoking
  • Sleep well

While we can’t control the genes we inherited, we can take steps to stay healthy as we age by exercising and keeping our minds engaged. Learn how social interaction benefits a person with memory impairment and discuss any concerns with your physician.

Fact: There’s still plenty of life to live

Society keeps giving us messages that when we get older, we’re finished. But we’re not finished. I see every day as an opportunity for a fresh new start. We can keep reinventing ourselves, no matter what our age. Yes, we are getting older, but we are not done yet!

Atria communities offer opportunities for new chapters of life to unfold each day. Engaging events and a welcoming environment foster a lifestyle in which older adults can grow, stay active and connect with the world to get the most out of retirement.

View the Guide: The Misconceptions of Aging (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Billie Jean King: What is active senior living?

Atria Senior Living residents practicing jiu jitsu

My mom always said, “Billie, whatever you do, you’ve got to keep moving. If you stop moving, it’s over.” As Atria’s Well-Being Coach, this has become the cornerstone of our approach to successful aging.

To enrich and prolong life in your later years, it’s important to not only exercise, but also eat well, stay engaged and adapt to any challenges you may face along the way. Here are some tips that will help you on this journey to healthy aging.

Create an exercise routine

We have no control over the chronological part of our lives, but we can control what we do with our time. Daily physical activity is one of the most important ways to keep our minds and bodies healthy as we age. Studies have shown that people who exercise regularly not only live longer – they may also live better and enjoy more years of life without pain or disability. The more we exercise, the better we feel.

Muscle function often declines as we age, which can inhibit everyday activities and chip away at our independence. The good news is that moderate to vigorous physical activity is associated with stronger muscle function, according to at least one study, so exercise may prevent age-related muscle decline and even help you live longer.

We can all agree it is important to exercise, but knowing what kinds of exercises to do can seem daunting. The key is to stay active and do something, anything, every day. So, where do you start? Here are the three types of physical activity, along with examples of each, that are beneficial to older adults:

  • Aerobic exercise – walking, swimming and dancing
  • Strength training – lifting weights or using a resistance band
  • Flexibility and balance – simple stretching, yoga and tai chi

If you are challenged by a chronic condition or disability, modify the exercises so they work for you. Even exercises done while sitting are beneficial because they get your blood circulating. Whatever your situation, always talk to your physician before starting a new exercise routine.

While I like to lift weights, I realize that I’m not lifting what I used to, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not important how much weight you’re able to lift; it’s about the great feeling you get from giving so much of yourself. Bringing all of yourself to something every day is important.

Maintain a healthy diet

It’s harder to maintain a healthy weight with age. Making smart food choices can help manage your weight, protect against certain health issues and may improve brain function. That’s why it’s critical to develop healthful eating habits. Personally, I try to eat fish often, eat red meat sparingly, avoid carbs and never eat late at night.

With so much dietary information in the news, it can be challenging to make smart food choices. If you’re struggling, talk to your doctor and check out the USDA’s tips for older adults. Even if you’re late to the game, changing your diet now can still improve your well-being as you age.

Stay socially active

Did you know that engaging with other people helps prevent illness and keeps the mind sharper? It’s true – socializing improves both your physical and mental health.

One study found that older adults who visited friends daily were 12 percent less likely to develop dementia than those who only saw a couple of friends every few months. According to the National Institute on Aging, social isolation and loneliness lead to higher risks of high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease and more.

Already have several good friends? Then, by all means, reach out and engage with them every day, if possible. If you could stand to widen your circle, start with family and strengthen relationships with siblings, nephews, nieces and cousins. While these relationships are always beneficial, it’s important to make new friends outside of family, too. Here are a few tips to help:

  • Volunteer your talents – Maybe you’re a cooking wiz, a savvy entrepreneur, a master chess player or a knitting champion – sharing your wisdom with others is not only a wonderful way to create meaningful connections, but doing so can even make you healthier.
  • Enjoy hobbies with others – Whether it’s renewing a childhood passion or trying something you never had the time for – like pottery, gardening, water coloring or playing music – choose activities in retirement that foster interaction with people who share your interests.
  • Learn something new – Try a community college course, learn a foreign language, take piano lessons or consider a senior dancing or yoga class. Favor activities that provide opportunities to connect with others.
  • Travel – If you’re able, venture to new places, even if it’s within your own city, as it may expose you to new people and maybe even different cultures. Walking and sightseeing also help you stay physically active. For shorter, local trips, carpooling is a wonderful way to socialize and make new friends.
  • Embrace social media – Online tools provide opportunities to stay connected with family and friends, and meet new people, too. Search for groups dedicated to your interests – you might be surprised how many different groups are online. If you’re not technologically savvy, ask someone to show you the ropes – it may be a lot easier than you think.

Keep a positive outlook

Our thoughts can affect our physical well-being, so having a good attitude about life has a lot to do with how well you age. Yes, we all have bad days and, when we do, it’s perfectly reasonable to be sad or angry in the moment. However, it’s important to not dwell on negative feelings or let them consume us – we must keep moving forward.

Taking a walk, meditating and getting a good night’s sleep also help reduce stress and maintain a good attitude. A Johns Hopkins study revealed that people with a family history of heart disease who also had a positive attitude were one-third less likely to have a cardiovascular issue than those with a more negative outlook.

Managing your attitude is crucial. Being a professional athlete taught me many things, but some of the most important were the value of daily discipline, how to be resilient and keep bouncing back, and staying in the solution, one ball at a time. For me, life is not a marathon, it is a series of sprints.

Make every day a new start

Society keeps giving us these messages that when we get older, we’re finished. We’re not finished. Every day is a fresh start. Every morning when I wake up, I have my gratitude list, and I thank God for all of these wonderful things. Each day provides another opportunity to be challenged, learn, solve problems and really engage in whatever I want to do.

If we want to remain active when we’re older, we have to work to stay healthy. That means eating right, exercising and getting in the solution. Companionship and support become even more important when we’re older – so nurture the friendships you value now.

Atria supports a healthy lifestyle

With daily opportunities to eat well, stay active, participate in engaging events and make meaningful connections, Atria Senior Living provides an environment that fosters personal growth and well-being. It’s a real privilege for me to be the Well-Being Coach for Atria and help spread the word on the benefits of senior fitness. We like to inspire older adults to really rock – to have fun and think about themselves a little differently.

View the Guide: Healthy Lifestyle Tips for Older Adults (PDF)

Categories
Caregiving

4 ways to help your parent adjust to assisted living

Senior man enjoying dinner at a senior living community.

A move to senior living often comes with an adjustment period – both for the older adult making the move, and their family. This transition can be especially hard for caregivers. If you’ve dedicated yourself to supporting your parent, researched the different types of senior living, found the right community and helped plan the move, you may still not be prepared for the emotions you and your parent experience after making the change.

“I’ve been on both sides of the coin,” says Lisa Ward, a Community Sales Director who started her career in the Atria community where her mother now resides. “My mother did not willingly move into a senior living community. Getting her to make the transition was difficult. My sister and I experienced a lot of guilt.”

Hear more from Ward and discover tips on how to help your parent if they are having difficulty adjusting to assisted living in this video.

4 ways to help your parent adjust after moving to an assisted living community

 

  1. Don’t yield too quickly
  2. Resist being a helicopter
  3. Make their home feel like home
  4. Expect good days and bad days

Our Guide to Help Your Parent Adjust to Assisted Living

Don’t yield too quickly

How long does it take to adjust to assisted living? The truth is, it varies. It may take as little as a week to feel comfortable. Many experts suggest it can take as long as three to six months – which could feel much longer if your parent is struggling to adjust to assisted living. This is normal.

If your parent is immediately ready to turn around and go home, encourage them to give it some time.

“Everybody has a different time frame,” Ward says. “Circle back to their pain point. What is it that they don’t like, other than it’s not home?”

You can also engage with the community’s staff to learn about appealing events. Encourage your parent to take a fitness class, go on an outing or find a group with similar interests.

“My mom loves gardening,” says Ward. “We connected her with some other master gardeners and the gardening club in the community. Once she put her hands in the dirt, she found her comfort zone.”

Resist being a helicopter

While frequent visits early on may seem like you’re being supportive, you could be holding your parent back. They may opt out of events and opportunities to interact with their new neighbors in anticipation of your visit.

Conversely, never visiting or calling may make your parent feel abandoned and confirm any apprehensions they may have had about the move in the first place.

“I think being there every day gives the signal that you think something is wrong, and you’re waiting for them to want to go back home. At the same time, you can’t just drop them off and drive away and go. Somewhere in between is ideal,” Ward advises.

Instead of frequent in-person visits, consider weekly phone calls and an occasional visit for lunch or dinner during the first 30 days. Make sure to check in with the community director as well to address any issues or strategies for adjustment.

After the first month, reach out to close family members and ask them to visit and call as well. Your parent may not be completely adjusted yet, but they may have positive things to talk about, like a new friendship or an event they really enjoyed.

By the second or third month, the community will feel familiar, and your parent may feel more comfortable. This is a great time to encourage visits and phone calls from extended relatives and friends. It may be a pleasant surprise for your parent. Encourage others to ask for a tour of your parent’s apartment and the community, or to stay for coffee or attend one of the daily events.

Make their home feel like home

One of the best ways to make their new home feel familiar is to decorate it with cherished items that represent your parent and what they care about. Their favorite piece of furniture or work of art, a special heirloom, family pictures and homemade crafts from grandchildren can all add warmth and personality to a senior apartment.

To put the finishing touches on their new space, take your parent shopping. While they may be reluctant to leave a long-time home, there may have been things they’d always wanted to update. A move offers an opportunity to replace items with something fresh – that still reflects their style.

You don’t have to stop at décor; consider other ways to make the community feel like home. If your parent has a beloved pet, look into the community’s pet policy to see if they can make the move as well. If your parent’s cat or dog has been left in your care, bring them with you from time to time when you visit. If there is a particular comfort food your parent loves, consider talking to the community’s chef about adding that item to the menu as one of their daily specials.

Expect good days and bad days

Every day will not be easy, nor will every day be a struggle – and that’s normal. Likely, you will both need time to process the change. It’s better for your parent to have an occasional bad day where they are safe, cared for and in great company rather than being home where their well-being may be at risk.

“Do you benefit from having a dedicated staff who can cook and clean for your parent, where you know that they’re safe and you can leave town and have peace of mind? Absolutely,” Ward says. “But it’s all about your parent. It’s about making sure they understand you’re doing this for them and not to them. The move is to ensure they’re healthy, happy, independent and thriving.”

If you are having trouble managing a conflict with your parent, as well as experiencing feelings of guilt and frustration, consider leaning on a friend, spouse or counselor for support. And rest assured that those challenging days won’t last forever. As time goes on, many witness their parent becoming happier and healthier at a senior living community – and the transition may help restore the parent-child relationship you once knew.

“When my mom moved in, she wouldn’t talk to us the first two weeks.” Ward says. “She wouldn’t even answer our phone calls. By the third week, she started participating and making friends. After about six weeks, we said, ‘Well, Mom, if you hate it here so much, why don’t you move back with us? We will just reverse everything.’ And she said, ‘Why would I do that? All my friends are here!’”

We’re here to help

Adjusting to assisted living takes time, and you can always reach out to us. Atria’s helpful and knowledgeable staff members are eager to help your parent feel at home in their community.

Download this useful guide to help ease the transition into assisted living for both you and your parent.