Author: ecoyne

Categories
Making the Decision

Tips for helping your parent transition to senior living

A beautiful mixed race young adult woman embraces her vibrant retirement age mother
A beautiful mixed race young adult woman embraces her vibrant retirement age mother. The mother and daughter are enjoying a relaxing walk in nature on a beautiful, sunny day. In the background is a mountainous evergreen forest bathed in sunlight.

The moment has arrived – your parent made the decision to sell their home and move to a senior living community. Both of you may feel excited and relieved, but you may also feel anxiety and guilt, and your parent may feel sad, skeptical and even angry. Here are some tips to help make your parent’s transition to community living as smooth and stress-free as possible.

Our Checklist to Transitioning to Senior Living (PDF)

Prepare for the move to a senior living community

The myriad details involved in moving your parent to assisted living can seem overwhelming. Breaking things down into smaller, more manageable steps will reduce stress and simplify the process. Keep in mind, the senior living community is there to assist you every step of the way – their expertise and resources could save you significant time, money and headaches.

Write it all down – Don’t rely on scattered notes, emails and memory alone to manage important details. Get a notebook dedicated to your parent’s move and fill it with to-do lists, schedules, contact information, community apartment floor plans and anything else that will assist with the moving process.

Secure important documents – Make it easy for your parent to access important information they may need once they’ve moved into their new home by compiling it all in one safe place. Consider a fireproof box or small safe to store important documents like wills, medical records, their passport, birth certificate, Social Security card, etc.

Discuss the home sale with your parent – Before contacting a real estate professional, you may need to address the strong emotions associated with selling a family home. This guide and this blog can help with that discussion.

Consider the benefits of a real estate professional – While it may be tempting to sell the home yourself, an experienced professional can get you more exposure, sell the home faster and negotiate a better price – saving you the time and stress associated with listing and showing the house. They can also suggest smaller cosmetic renovations that could improve resale value with little investment. Ask the senior living community for real estate professional referrals.

Make downsizing uplifting – Your parent’s home is likely filled with cherished items acquired over decades. Allow ample time for them to sort through it all. Be patient and sensitive to your parent’s feelings, and keep these tips in mind:

  • Get their new floor plan. This will help determine which furnishings will fit into your parent’s new home.
  • Do a little every day. Sorting through mementoes can spark fond memories that evoke strong emotions. Allow time to determine what to keep, pass down to family or donate to charity – but encourage your parent to make this a daily activity so it doesn’t become overwhelming as the move-in date approaches.
  • Purge paperwork. Throw out any old documents, files, newspapers and magazines that are no longer needed.
  • Keep it festive. Make it a party. Put on some music, break out the wine and cheese, and invite other family members to help your parent sort through their belongings.

Take the pain out of packing – Seek estimates from at least two local moving companies and ask the senior living community for referrals. Allow ample time for packing – it typically takes much longer than most people think. Here are some more handy tips:

  • Schedule family pickups. Give family members a firm schedule to collect anything your parent is handing down. Make sure any donated items are on track to be picked up or delivered to the appropriate charities – most will provide free pick-up service.
  • Make a list. To make sure nothing gets lost in the shuffle, make an itemized list of everything that’s going to your parent’s new home. Be sure to note any fragile items or electronics that may require special packing.
  • Manage medications. Before moving, make sure your parent has refilled their medications and, if necessary, transferred prescriptions to a pharmacy closer to the senior living community. Place all medications in a dedicated box for easy access in their new home.
  • Notify others of your parent’s new address. Contact the local post office to ensure mail is delivered to your parent’s new home. If they receive Social Security or Medicare benefits, update their address online.

Make their new senior living community feel like home

The community director will show your parent the comforts and features of their new home while making sure essentials like medications, grooming tools and bathing items are within reach. Consider a housewarming gift like a recent family photo, knitted blanket, a favorite homemade dessert or crafts made by grandchildren.

Here are a few more ways you can ease their transition:

Get acquainted before moving in – A familiar face goes a long way to making one feel more relaxed and assured, so help your parent meet other residents and staff a few weeks before moving in. Accompany your parent to a meal in the community restaurant and introduce them to the chef. Visit the salon and say hello to the hairdresser. Encourage your parent to attend a social event or two to meet some of their new neighbors.

Give your parent space – You may feel tempted to visit and call your parent more frequently when they first move, but be careful not to overdo it. Assure them you’re available, but give them time to meet their neighbors and explore their new environment.

Encourage social connection – Enjoy an occasional meal with your parent in the community restaurant or join them for a social event, class or program. Take note if they are interacting with other residents and staff, and gently make introductions if your parent appears shy about making new acquaintances.

Monitor their well-being – When you talk to your parent, ask if they are eating well, taking their medications, engaging with others and staying active. Talk with the community director to stay apprised of your parent’s physical and emotional health, and ask what arrangements can be made to help your parent adapt to their new environment.

Manage the emotional impact

The excitement you feel over your parent’s new beginning can sometimes be accompanied by feelings of sadness or guilt, leaving you with doubts. Was this the right decision? Will my parent be happy? Will they make new friends? Will they be cared for?

Understanding the many ways older adults benefit from a community setting may ease these concerns. Explore “5 reasons why older adults thrive in senior living communities” and “How quality care services empower older adults” to learn more and consider other ways to manage any conflicting emotions.

Find support – Share your feelings and concerns with family and friends – they can often provide a different perspective or offer advice you hadn’t previously considered. If you still feel overwhelmed, consider discussing the situation with the director of the senior living community. If warranted, they can recommend a therapist to help work through this time. Seek out local support groups created specifically for children of older adults.

Consider the alternative – If you find yourself second-guessing the decision, reflect on all of the concerns that led to it. Maintaining a household was likely becoming more challenging and perhaps even more dangerous for your parent. Could you have continued to provide the level of care your parent needs, especially as those needs escalate? What about their feelings of isolation? Study after study has shown that daily connection improves well-being and happiness.

Know what you’re feeling is normal – Many children of older adults have felt like they were letting their parents down by not doing more to help them keep living at home. But encouraging your parent to move to a senior living community is an act of love that can empower them to live a more fulfilling life.

Call on us for help or support

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. Our trusted partnerships with local real estate professionals and moving companies could offer significant savings and take much of the worry out of your planning.

We can assist with your parent’s move every step of the way, from obtaining any needed medical documents to selling your parent’s home to the move itself. We can even put you in touch with interior designers that will fill your parent’s new apartment with furnishings that reflect their style and make everything feel homey.

We want to see your parent flourish in their new home from their very first day here. Reach out to your local Atria community director today to make your parent’s transition as positive and smooth as can be.

Categories
Alzheimer’s & Dementia

Providing dementia care at home – and when to seek help

Senior hugging her daughter

Hearing the doctor tell your mom or dad they have Alzheimer’s disease – or another form of dementia – is upsetting for both you and your parent. Once the initial shock subsides, there are steps you can take to feel less anxious about what lies ahead, prepare for the different levels of care your parent will need, learn how to cope with the diagnosis and help your parent continue to fill their days with meaning and joy.

Allow time for everyone to accept the diagnosis

A diagnosis of dementia can create a whirlwind of emotions. It’s natural to experience feelings of denial, fear, anger, sadness, frustration and even guilt. While the ups and downs can vary from day to day, your emotional state should even out with time.

As no two people process such complex feelings the same way, allow yourself, your parent and other family members the time needed to work through these feelings. If the feelings become overwhelming or elevate to a deep depression that won’t go away, seek help from a medical professional.

Learn more about dementia

The more you understand the progressive symptoms of dementia, the better equipped you’ll be to provide the care your parent needs and instill a sense of confidence knowing you’re doing everything possible to support them.

First, ask your parent’s physician to explain the diagnosis and refer local support groups. Explore resources on the Internet including podcasts, YouTube channels and online support groups – the Alzheimer’s Association® is a great place to start.

Be mindful that although various types of dementia exist, most involve symptoms that become worse over time. It’s helpful to develop coping methods to better manage your reactions should your parent become more confused, manipulative or aggressive.

What to expect as dementia progresses

People living with dementia may present many challenges for caregivers. Your parent’s symptoms may seem mild at first – like forgetting a person’s name and where they put their keys or trouble with routine tasks – but they can escalate to social withdrawal, wandering from home and the inability to feed themselves or use the bathroom.

Understanding the stages of dementia and utilizing this helpful guide will assist your decision-making process about the level of care your parent needs. Assistance with routine activities such as getting dressed, eating and bathing can be expected in the middle stages, which can usually be handled by a family member or visiting caregiver while your parent is still living at home. However, later stages often require full-time attention from dementia care professionals.

Periodically ask your parent what you can do to help and then provide assistance in a way that maintains their sense of control and independence as much as possible. Typically, in addition to routine daily tasks, those living with dementia will eventually require help managing finances, remembering medications, preparing meals, making medical appointments and arranging transportation.

While their needs will change – and may be challenging to provide for at times – taking steps that foster their independence and help you cultivate patience can ease a lot of frustration for both of you.

Explore treatment options

Alzheimer’s and many forms of dementia are progressive diseases that currently have no cure, but medical researchers are working hard to find one. Medications can ease or delay symptoms for some people. Talk to your parent’s doctor to understand the currently available options along with the potential risks and side effects of each. Check the Alzheimer’s Association Helpline for the latest news on memory loss clinical trials and see if there are any opportunities to participate in research groups.

Make home safe

Making the home safer for older adults is always a good idea regardless of a dementia diagnosis. Your parent will likely prefer to live at home until their condition requires more specialized care. Because you or another caregiver may not be present 24/7 in the early stages, take additional precautions to ensure your parent’s safety.

  • Identify hazards – As dementia can affect your parent’s judgment and physical dexterity, remove any tools, kitchen appliances, utensils, and cleaning supplies or other poisonous chemicals that could cause harm. Disconnect the garbage disposal and apply safety knob covers to the stove. Consider safety locks on the washer and dryer, and periodically inspect lint screens/ducts to make sure they’re clean.
  • Change locks – Replace locks on all exterior doors with a latch or deadbolt lock above or below eye level (so they are out of sight) to reduce the risk of accidental wandering. Hide an extra set of keys near an exterior door for emergency access. To prevent your parent from locking themselves in within the house, remove locks on all interior doors.
  • Secure medications – Place any vitamins and prescription medicines in a locked drawer or cabinet.
  • Remove firearms – Dementia may cause anxiety, hallucinations and aggression, so remove any firearms as your parent could mistake a well-known friend or family member as an intruder.

Create joy and find purpose

As dementia continues to affect your parent’s behavior and abilities, remain mindful of their feelings and treat them with dignity and respect. Share simple joys, whether it be listening to their favorite music, looking through a family photo album or painting their nails. Simply being present and offering companionship can go a long way to improving their attitude and well-being.

As people with dementia are prone to lose a sense of who they are, you can help strengthen your parent’s self-identity by discussing what gives their life meaning and purpose. Encourage them to participate in existing hobbies, explore new interests and reach out to others living with the disease for inspiration.

Plan for what’s ahead

Discussing financial matters with your parent can be awkward, but it is best to collect details of all bank accounts, tax returns and other important legal documents before their disease progresses. Talk to an elder law attorney or trusted financial professional to prepare or update your parent’s will and help you obtain medical power of attorney.

This is also a good time to explore care options for when you need a break from caregiving – or when the level of care your parent requires exceeds the care you and your family can provide. Research the home care and respite care providers in your area and make a list of those you prefer.

Memory care can be beneficial even to those living with the early stages of dementia, but deciding when to move a parent to such a community will depend on your parent’s health, symptoms and other factors. While your parent may be a long way from requiring round-the-clock care, it’s a good idea to schedule tours of local memory care assisted living communities before their condition progresses. This will give you and your family time to compare options and discover which community offers the specially trained staff, programs and secure environment that will best serve your parent.

Connect with others

Being a caregiver for a parent diagnosed with dementia can be physically and emotionally exhausting. It’s important to protect your own well-being so you can continue to provide the care they need as well as manage your many other obligations to work, home and family. If possible, don’t take on all of the responsibilities yourself.

Share your dementia knowledge and caregiving tips with family and friends who are offering support. Keeping everyone in the loop prevents any surprises as your parent’s disease progresses and helps ease the burden of everything resting solely on you.

Look for a support group and connect with others who can share their experiences and offer advice, encouragement and, perhaps most important, a sympathetic ear.

Call on us for help or support

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is here to share our expertise in assisted living and memory care and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. Use this resource to guide and assist your family as you explore options for your parent’s care needs. We can call on our relationships with trusted financial advisors and provide senior care resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family, whether you’re moving to Atria or not. To see if memory care is offered near you, find a community and look for the purple memory care icon.

Our Guide on the 7 Stages of Dementia (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Encouraging healthy eating in older adults

Shot of a cheerful group of senior people talking and enjoying breakfast together at home

Are you a big fan of turmeric? Is salmon common in your household? Does the inside of your refrigerator look like an organic produce aisle? You can tell a lot about someone based on the contents of their cupboard and pantry. Spices, mealtime staples and the type of produce we choose indicates our culture, our upbringing and our socioeconomic status. It may also hint at our current state of health.

If you peek into kitchens and observe the food choices of seniors across America, you may find a stockpile of packaged food, canned soup or beans and store-bought frozen dinners. This is especially common if the person requires assistance with daily activities and/or lives alone.

Quiz: How to Tell if Your Parent is Getting the Proper Nutrition

 

“Older adults don’t have to make a meal to feed the rest of the family,” said John Hetzel, Vice President of Culinary at Atria Senior Living. “It’s easy to just grab a box of crackers out of the cupboard, sit down in front of the TV and eat, opposed to making yourself a full meal.”

These types of foods are more convenient than freshly cooked meals, but they aren’t always the healthiest options. Packed with sodium, sugar, unhealthy fat and empty calories, these items contribute to malnutrition, which is very common among older adults.

Hetzel sheds light on malnutrition in older adults and provides helpful tips on how to help your parent maintain a well-balanced diet.

Why are older adults more at risk for poor nutrition?

Poor nutrition or malnutrition is commonly misunderstood as simply not having enough to eat. However, malnutrition in the elderly population is more complex than that. Not eating the right foods or the inability to absorb nutrients from foods can cause malnutrition as well. This can make it difficult for older adults to meet nutritional goals.

Generally speaking, caloric needs actually decrease with age, but nutrient needs change and become more important to fulfill. In other words, quantity goes down, but quality must go up.

Depending on varying factors unique to one’s health, it is easy suffer from undernutrition (becoming very frail, weak and underweight,) or overnutrition (becoming overweight, diabetic and often fatigued).

What factors might impact a senior’s appetite and nutritional intake?

 

  • Exercise and activity – Seniors who are more active are generally healthier and able to avoid or control chronic health issues.
  • Medication – Prescription drugs may alter sense of taste or appetite.
  • Mobility – The inability to walk and grocery shop, stand and meal prep, or handle cooking and eating utensils due to Parkinson’s or arthritis can impact food choices and lead to a poor diet.
  • Sensation of thirst – The desire to drink fluids decreases as we age, making it easy for older adults to become dehydrated quickly.
  • Loss of taste and smell – The perception of flavor and aroma declines naturally as age progresses, but sometimes illness and even cognitive impairment can be the cause.
  • Cognitive impairment – Dementia and malnutrition go hand in hand. Cognitive impairment affects the way we recognize food on the palate and can cause difficulty swallowing. Clinically, this is called dysphagia. Cognitive impairment is also made worse by poor nutrition and dehydration.
  • Changes in mood – Depression or loneliness could cause overeating or undereating.

What are possible signs of malnutrition in older adults?

The importance of proper nutrition for seniors cannot be overstated. Not only will a diet high in processed foods exacerbate pre-existing conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure – it can cause obesity, cardiovascular disease and poor bone health. Older adults who are malnourished are more frail, have an increased fall risk and slower recovery times, and are frequently hospitalized.

Do you suspect your parent isn’t receiving the proper nourishment? Look for these signs.

Signs and symptoms of malnutrition in elderly

 

  • Sudden or unintentional weight gain or loss
  • Edema, especially in the hands, face and feet
  • Obviously ill-fitting clothes or shoes
  • Food aversions or complaints about the taste or smell of food
  • Exhibited loss of appetite or interest in food
  • Excessive food consumption due to memory loss or not remembering eating
  • Frequently coughing, gagging or choking while eating
  • Lack of energy or often experiencing fatigue
  • Little to no movement in day-to-day routine
  • Weak immune system and long recovery times
  • Frequent hospitalizations due to falls, illness and infections
  • Rotten produce and expired food items in the pantry and refrigerator
  • Reliance upon processed foods
  • Infrequent bowel movements

Ask a healthcare provider how to help improve senior nutrition

Don’t wait to engage your parent’s doctor for advice or intervention regarding their nutrition. Malnutrition in older adults is easy to identify but may be difficult to recover from if it goes on too long. During the appointment, discuss regularly monitoring your parent’s weight in a helpful and noninvasive way. Inquire about modified exercise techniques or ways to achieve attainable activity goals.

Ask about comprehensive health screenings to identify vitamin or mineral deficiencies and pinpoint any underlying conditions that contribute to malnutrition. Ask for a medication review. Inquire about the best diet for seniors, especially if your parent needs to follow a specific diet because of health conditions. Older adults suffering from unintentional weight loss are often trying to adhere to a strict, therapeutic diet and may benefit from having more food-choice freedom.

Before purchasing any meal replacement shakes ask your parent’s healthcare provider what is the best nutritional and protein drink for seniors. Many of these items are high in sugar, and relying too heavily on them could cause digestive issues.

When seeking a solution to improve your parent’s nutrition, tap into all available resources. If there are any concerns related to chewing or swallowing, your parent’s doctor may refer a speech pathologist to investigate whether or not your parent has dysphasia, which could put them at a higher risk of weight loss due to dehydration and an inability to consume enough food.

Additionally, occupational therapists are extremely knowledgeable about techniques and devices to address any motor skills challenges your parent may have. Adaptive devices, such as built-up utensils, divided plates and two-handled cups, can help your parent eat and drink independently. If your parent doesn’t utilize occupational therapy, ask their healthcare provider how you can get access to such services.

Use this helpful guide and quiz to have a successful conversation with your parent’s healthcare provider regarding nutrition.

Create a recipe for success at home

When asked about the best diet for seniors, Hetzel suggests minimally processed foods.

“Immediately go to fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, berries, things like that. Natural, non-processed foods that are not high in sugar or calories,” he says.

Ask your parent to help you create a shopping list, making sure you add high-protein options to help prevent the loss of lean muscle mass. Seafood, dairy and fortified soy alternatives, beans, peas, lentils, meat, poultry and eggs are great sources of protein and high-energy food for seniors.

Other healthy food options for seniors are those high in fiber, like whole grain cereal, brown rice and oats. Help combat thirst by ordering small, eight-ounce bottles of water, unsweetened fruit juices and low-fat or fat-free milk.

If your parent is up to it, invite them to go grocery shopping with you. Not only will this present an opportunity for togetherness, it’s also a way to inspire physical activity.

Many grocery stores now offer online shopping services with the option of delivery or pick-up if shopping together is not an option.

Meal prepping together is a fun and easy way to help create healthy meals you know your parent will enjoy. Try new recipes together or recreate a dish that your parent loves.

“The one way to make sure your parent is eating is to offer something they like to eat,” Hetzel says.

Nothing inspires the appetite like enjoying a meal together. Consider family dinners or family lunch a regular part of your schedule when possible. After the meal, ask your parent to join you for a short walk to get them moving.

If three large meals overwhelm your parent, encourage smaller, more frequent meals. If your parent likes to graze throughout the day, encourage snacks that are healthy and tasty. Hummus and pita chips or fresh vegetables, sliced bell peppers and guacamole, fruit with cottage cheese and a dash of cinnamon, and popcorn without butter are delectable options that are easy to prepare.

The culinary experience at Atria

Residents at Atria are encouraged to dine together as much as possible.

“It’s a part of a holistic approach to care. Folks being in a dining room, being with friends, making a social connection – it all encourages health,” Hetzel said.

Pair companionship with tasty, made-from-scratch meals and you have a delicious recipe for healthy, flavorful living.

Each day in Atria kitchens across the country, chefs are preparing fresh, flavorful meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner that meet the nutritional needs of older adults – even those who have special dietary restrictions.

“You’re getting a mix of proteins; you’re getting a mix of vegetables and different fruits. It’s a nice, well-rounded, nutritionally balanced menu,” Hetzel said. “A registered dietitian signs off on all of our menus.”

If you’re curious how Atria Senior Living helps nourish older adults with made-to-order meals – as well as other discreet, personalized care options – reach out to us. You’re always welcome to visit for lunch with your parent or even one of the community’s Resident Ambassadors.

Categories
Financials

How to talk to your parent about selling their home

Senior man with daughter

While many older adults sell their homes to help finance the costs of a senior living community, it is often a very complex and emotional decision even for those who have planned for it. Here are some tips to better navigate the challenges and deep feelings that come with helping your parent sell their home.

Help your parent embrace a new experience

Many older adults selling their homes have lived there for 25 years or more. Their homes are familiar and hold many cherished memories, so it’s understandable that moving somewhere different with new people and experiences can be fraught with anxiety.

Whether your parent is selling their home to pay for independent living, assisted living or memory care, helping them understand what to expect in their new surroundings will make the transition easier. Once your parent has chosen a senior living community, it helps to learn and experience more than either of you may have gathered from your initial tour.

  • Living space – Become familiar with the new apartment’s safety features and make sure they know how to operate the thermostat, lighting and any appliances. Take photos and measurements of their new apartment so you can plan what furnishings to bring and where they will fit. Help them display cherished items safely and securely in prominent areas to make their new apartment feel more like home.
  • Meet and greet – Before moving in, make sure your parent is introduced to key staff, like the community director, chef and care team. Already knowing some familiar faces when they move in goes a long way to easing stress. Many senior living communities offer in-depth tours on the resident’s first day – consider joining your parent to address any additional questions either of you may have.
  • Mix and mingle – Attending some events and having a few meals in the community will help your parent meet some of their fellow residents and get a feel for the community atmosphere and lifestyle. Being familiar with the residents, staff and surroundings will make their transition from home to community smoother. At Atria, resident ambassadors greet new residents with gifts and invitations to upcoming events to help make them feel like a welcome member of the community.

Downsizing

Chances are your parent has accumulated more furnishings and household possessions than their new senior living apartment can accommodate – but deciding what to keep can be very emotional. Here are a few ways to make downsizing easier for you both:

  • Ease into it – Your parent’s household possessions likely took decades to acquire, so don’t plan on going through everything in one weekend. Start the process by asking your parent to make a list of their most treasured items, noting what they hope to keep and what they wish to donate. If your parent intends to give items to siblings or other family, plan on having them available to review the list with your parent so there are no misunderstandings that could lead to hard feelings later on.
  • Preserve the past – Encourage your parent to keep items that help them fondly recollect their lives, such as photos, family heirlooms and other special keepsakes. Consider storing some cherished seasonal belongings – like clothes and holiday decorations – in your home (or other family members’ homes) so your parent will still have access if needed.
  • Empathize – Sorting through a lifetime’s worth of possessions can be taxing, but it can also be very freeing. It’s an opportunity for your parent to let go of things that have been weighing them down or keeping them from making new decisions. It’s important to offer sympathy but also discuss how much they’ll enjoy having a fresh start in their new home with opportunities to engage with new friends, rekindle their passion for a past hobby or learn something new.

Downsizing can be physically demanding and, as your parent is leaving a part of their life behind, will inevitably entail a mix of emotions. If either of you start to feel overwhelmed by the process, consider hiring senior move managers to help.

When to sell your parent’s home

Once you and your parent have made the decision to sell their home, you may wonder whether it’s better to sell before or after they’ve moved into their senior living community. Financial needs, stress and timing are key factors to consider.

Selling before moving to senior living – If the sale will be used for the primary funding of their senior living, it makes sense to sell before moving. If it takes longer than expected to sell the house, you might be facing extra costs on top of the senior living costs, like mortgage payments, utility bills, insurance and any ongoing maintenance. Be sure to discuss this with a trusted financial advisor.

Selling after moving to senior living – If your parent is unable to live alone or has had a recent accident or health issue that benefits from having more immediate care, then moving to a senior living community before their house is sold may be the best option. What’s more, living in their new community reduces any stress they might have felt trying to keep their house clean and vacating the premises while it was being shown – plus an empty house can often be more appealing to buyers.

Selling your parent’s home if they have dementia

A parent dealing with memory loss poses additional challenges for families when selling their home. Typically, only the homeowner can legally transfer their home to a buyer, but obtaining power of attorney (POA) and guardianship can allow you to make decisions on behalf of your parent.

  • Power of attorney – This requires your parent to sign a document granting you permission to make decisions on their behalf. While often simple to establish, there are different types of POA, so plan on consulting an elder law attorney to assist you with the process. Be aware that you will not be granted POA if your parent is deemed incompetent, in which case you’ll have to petition for guardianship.
  • Guardianship – If a POA is denied, you’ll have to prove that your parent has significant memory loss which requires having a legal guardian to manage their property. While this may be your only option, know that it can also be a more extensive and expensive process.

Your local Atria community director can answer any additional questions you may have and connect you with a financial advisor.

Choosing Atria

At Atria, we understand the difficulty involved in selling your parent’s house and all the financial and emotional complexities that come with that decision. Learn more about the prices and tax benefits of moving into a senior living community, and plug some numbers into our affordability calculator – which can help you compare the costs of senior living with the costs of staying at home – it may be more affordable than you think.

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with financial advisors, real estate professionals and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family, whether you’re moving to Atria or not. Feel free to reach out to your local Atria Community Director today.

Our Guide to Help Your Parent Sell Their House (PDF)

Categories
Financials

Should I sell my parents’ house to pay for long-term care?

Two people packing boxes

Many adult children eventually have to address this question for the sake of their parents’ financial and emotional well-being, not to mention providing peace of mind for any safety concerns. Moving elderly parents out of their home can be an overwhelming prospect, especially if their home has been in the family for years. Yet it may be the right decision, depending on whether a parent has fallen recently, is unable to safely navigate their home, is experiencing loneliness, contending with memory loss or other issues that could jeopardize their health and safety. Read on for some thoughts on when your parent should downsize, when seniors should sell their homes, and what to look for when considering senior living communities.

Determining what’s best for your parent

One of the first questions to ask when wading into this process is “Would my parent benefit from moving into a senior living community?” The answer to that likely depends on your parent’s current quality of life.

  • Are they still able to take care of themselves, or do they need help with activities of daily living such as grooming, bathing, etc.?
  • Are they socializing with other people, or do they mostly keep to themselves?
  • Do they make use of all the floors of their house, or has their routine narrowed to one or two rooms?
  • Are they still able to go grocery shopping and cook on their own or would they benefit from chef-prepared meals?
  • Are they driving, or are they relying on you (the adult child) to take them to doctor’s appointments, pick up prescriptions and grocery shop?
  • Does winter still mean a season of get-togethers and festivities in their home, or is it fraught with the stress that comes from the risks of potential hazards of slips and falls?

If the answers to these questions highlight a growing concern that your parent is better situated in a senior living community, then you may consider discussing the topic of choosing a community for a short-term stay (often referred to as “respite care”). Short-term stays can smooth the transition of moving elderly parents out of their home and into a safer and more active environment.

How to pay for senior living

There are many ways to pay for senior living, but the most common method is to use private funds, such as savings, investments and selling high-value items such as antiques, automobiles, furniture or even selling your parent’s home. Other sources of funding include:

  • Pensions
  • Social security and retirement accounts (IRAs)
  • Loans
  • Life insurance policies
  • Long-term care benefit plans
  • Veterans benefits

For more information, read this “How to pay for senior living” blog.

Deciding to sell the family home

If, after considering all of these options and talking to a financial advisor, you decide that selling the family home is your best option, then the next step is talking with your parent about how they want to sell their home. This is often a very emotional issue, so be patient and mindful of your parent’s feelings as you discuss the details, and read these tips for further insights.

Gathering financial information

As you can imagine, selling a home involves many financial details. Here’s a quick refresher on mortgages and tax laws you’ll want to familiarize yourself with before moving forward.

  • Mortgages – If your parents took out a standard mortgage or a reverse mortgage, it helps to understand the difference. A standard mortgage means you pay the lender every month, paying against the principal owed on the home until you own it like any other asset. A reverse mortgage allows you to convert the equity in your house into cash (generally tax-free) without having to sell your house. So, in a standard mortgage, the mortgagor pays the lender. But in a reverse mortgage, the lender pays the mortgagors. If your parents did take out a reverse mortgage, the lender may send them a letter demanding payment within 30 days upon discovering that the house is no longer occupied (although those terms are often extended).
  • Taxes – Let’s assume your parent put their house on the market and earns enough money on it to subsidize their care in a senior living community. Depending on the size of their profit, they may have to pay the IRS in capital gains. As with nearly all things tax-related, the specifics involved in the tax implications for your property can get quite complex, so consult a financial advisor or a tax specialist before making any long-term decision. 

Assigning a Power of Attorney (POA)

If you and your parent have agreed that a senior living community is the best choice after reviewing all of the options – and your financial advisor agrees that selling the family home is the best way to finance this cost – there are more details to you’ll need to consider.

One of the next decisions that may crop up is who is selling their home. One option would be for your parent to handle the process of selling their property – provided they are not facing the challenges of memory loss or dementia, and are otherwise able to manage the details of the selling process, of course. If they’re already in a senior living community, they can work with a notary to finalize the required documents that the title company requires to complete the sale.

If your parent does not want to dedicate themselves to all the time involved in selling their house, or if they have been deemed incapable of overseeing the sale, you or someone else who your parent trusts may need to consult an attorney and discuss assuming power of attorney (POA) to sell it for them. AN attorney can walk you through the steps required to assign POA and draft the appropriate documents to ensure authorization is correctly and legally delegated.

Selling the house

Even if you and your parent have sold homes before, you may find that the process of selling their house and moving into a senior living community is different than moving into the next subdivision over. You may be familiar with working with running the comps on your neighborhood, listing your house, paying off any outstanding liens, staging the property, transferring the title, and so on. But if you sell your parents’ house, you and your family will probably need to address one final concern: What real estate agents sometimes call “the stuff.” And while it may be tempting to do it all on your own, hiring a real estate professional who has experience in helping older adults with the transition to senior living is a crucial step.

It bears repeating that, from the start of the discussing selling your parent’s home and throughout the process, you involve your parent in all decisions and take time to calmly and thoroughly address their questions and concerns. This can be a substantial amount of work, so be sure to request help from other family where appropriate.

Making sure it’s the right fit

Moving an elderly parent out of their home is a big decision, and you want to make sure that, if they decide to move into a senior living community, then it’s the right senior living community for them. A few matters to consider when conducting your research and taking tours:

  • First impressions – Are the lawns mowed and the grounds maintained? Can you picture your parent walking into the apartments and the dining room and feeling at ease? Is the overall vibe caring and positive?
  • Value communication – Does the community respond to your questions and requests in a timely manner? Were you sent a satisfaction survey that asked for your feedback? Do the staff members speak to you, each other, or the residents with courtesy?
  • Assess the culture – Try to pick up on the clues that give you insights into the community atmosphere. Do the comments you hear about the residents indicate that they’re treated with respect? Can you get a sense of whether the staff collaborates as a team? Be sure to read reviews about the community. Is their reputation stellar, or do they have affiliations and partnerships that seem unsavory?

Choosing Atria

This is a lot of information to process, but answering all those questions can help you find the right community for you and your parents. Once you decide to make the move, be sure to read our tips on downsizing.

At Atria, we understand the difficulty involved in selling your parents’ house and all the financial and emotional complexities that come with that decision. Learn more about the prices and tax benefits of moving into a senior living community, and plug some numbers into our affordability calculator – which can help you compare the costs of senior living with the costs of staying at home – it may be more affordable than you think.

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with financial advisors, real estate professionals and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family, whether you’re moving to Atria or not. Feel free to reach out to your local Atria Community Director today.

Our Guide to Help Decide if You Should Sell Your Parent’s House (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Seniors and Falls: What to Do After an Accident

Senior man with daughter

Stubbed toes, pinched fingers, sprained ankles – accidents happen every day, but some can be more stressful than others. The first time your parent suffers a fall can be frightening – for them and for you. Unfortunately, older adults who have fallen before are likely to fall again. Did you know that unintentional falls among older adults are a serious public health concern? Here are just a few alarming statistics:

If you’re wondering, “What do I do when an elderly person falls down?” or “What should I do if they keep falling?” you’re not alone. There are steps you can and should take immediately after a fall, in the short- and long-term to mitigate injury and help prevent falls from happening in the future.

Immediately after your parent falls

If you are present or responding immediately when your senior parent falls, there are three very important things healthcare professionals recommend you do – and not do.

  1. Ask them to stay still – This is crucial. Do not attempt to help your parent up after a fall until you have ascertained whether or not they have sustained a head, neck or back injury. If your parent is alert, ask them to point out any pain they are experiencing. If your parent hit their head or is unconscious, call emergency services without hesitation.
  2. Help them get up slowly – If there appears to be only minor injuries, have your parent slowly sit up, and then try to stand. If they notice additional pain after standing up, it’s time to go to the hospital or immediate care center. If you suspect there may be a broken bone or more serious injury, call an ambulance.
  3. Discover the cause of the fall – Even if you witnessed the fall, there may be compounding factors you don’t know about. Did your parent have anything to eat yet that day? Did they miss a medication? Also ask your parent if they tripped over something, felt dizzy, felt weak or had any other physical sensation that preceded the fall. Knowing whether or not the fall was caused by external factors, like obstacles in the home, or internal factors, like a new medical condition, allows you to take the appropriate next steps. If you have any questions or concerns afterward, contact emergency services.

7 things to ask your parent’s doctor after a fall

Once your parent is stabilized and well enough, they should have a visit with their primary care doctor to check for and address any medical concerns that may affect the likelihood of another fall. Accompany your parent on this visit as their advocate and be sure to ask the doctor about the following issues:

  1. Common underlying causes – Some common health problems that can make an older person likely to fall include:
    • Dehydration
    • Anemia
    • Weakness caused by an infection
  2. Blood pressure – Ask that your parent’s blood pressure be read while sitting, then standing. This is especially important to ask about if your parent said they felt lightheaded or weak prior to their fall.
  3. Blood tests – One way to identify underlying causes that could be contributing to falls is through a blood test, commonly referred to as checking labs. Ask for a copy of the lab results and have the doctor explain any abnormalities to you.
  4. Medication review – Many older adults are prescribed medications that heighten their fall risk. Bring a comprehensive list of the prescription medications – in addition to over-the-counter medications and vitamin supplements – and dosages your parent takes with you to their doctor’s appointment. Some of these medications may need dosages adjusted or could be eliminated altogether.
  5. Balance and gait – There are easy methods of checking gait and balance in the doctor’s office, such as simply closely watching the way a person walks. If something seems amiss, start with addressing any discomfort. Your parent may be modifying their movement due to joint, foot or back pain. You may also want to consider seeing a physical therapist for a more thorough assessment. If necessary, a physical therapist can teach your parent strengthening exercises or recommend an assistive device or mobility aid, like a cane or walker – your parent’s primary doctor should be able to refer you to any specialists.
  6. Vision and inner ear issues – When was the last time your parent had their eyes checked? Poor vision can contribute to falls caused by tripping over objects or miscalculating distances while walking down stairs or reaching for a handrail. Make certain your parent’s doctor also checks for inner ear issues. The inner ear houses the vestibular system, which regulates balance.
  7. Heart and neurological conditions – If falls and near falls become more frequent, and other causes have been ruled out, it may be advisable to check for heart and neurological problems. Chronic heart conditions like atrial fibrillation can cause the heart to race, which contributes to weakness and dizziness. Older people also can develop Parkinson’s disease or other neurological conditions that compound the issue.

Our checklist on the 7 things to ask your parent’s doctor after a fall (PDF)

In the long term after a fall

Obstacles and hazards around the home, including rugs, clutter, slick floors and poor lighting, are often the reasons older adults fall. Moving to a senior living community – including both independent living and assisted living – is one of the best steps you can take to help prevent your parent from falling again.

  • Safety first – Most senior living communities are thoughtfully designed to maximize safety and minimize chances of a fall. Spaces are fitted with safety equipment like handrails, grab bars and walk-in showers. New residents are evaluated for fall risk based on their balance and gait, fall and medical history and use of assistive devices. Community staff receive special training in fall reduction and prevention.
  • Physical wellness – It’s common for people to become less active as they get older. A sedentary lifestyle contributes to poor balance, loss of muscle strength and reduced flexibility – all of which can increase fall risk. Senior living communities offer daily opportunities for older adults to stay active, which improves strength and mobility.
  • Healthy nutrition – Nutritional needs change as people age, but it’s often difficult for seniors aging at home to eat a balanced diet. A senior living community will provide well-rounded meals and nutritious snacks that are tailored to the needs of older adults. Healthy eating provides the foundation for healthy bone and muscle strength, which helps reduce the chances of a fall.
  • Medication management – Drowsiness and dizziness are often side effects of medications commonly prescribed to seniors. These effects can be made worse when medication isn’t taken according to directions. Older adults at senior living communities have access to trained professionals who manage their medication by refilling prescriptions and reminding or administering medicine.
  • Daily life assistance – Day-to-day tasks and lifestyle habits can lead to conditions that make a fall likely. Does your parent have to navigate stairs in order to do laundry or leave the house? Do they have trouble getting in and out of bed? Do they wear well-fitted, non-skid shoes? Does their clothing fit well without being too restrictive or too loose? At a senior living community, staff are on hand around the clock to discreetly help with dressing, grooming, meal preparation and eating.

The safety precautions and trained community staff at senior living communities minimize fall risk as much as possible. If the falls were due to any type of cognitive impairment – such as Alzheimer’s or other form of dementia – consider the benefits that a memory care community can provide, including secure neighborhoods, specially trained staff and daily events designed to stimulate cognition and improve mood.

We’re always here to help

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with other senior living organizations and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family. Reach out to your local Atria community today and they’ll be happy to help.

Our guide on what to do next after your parent had an accident (PDF)

Categories
Caregiving

How to balance a busy schedule with caregiving

A woman and her daughter hugging and smiling together

Over the course of human history, life expectancy has nearly tripled. While living longer lives is certainly something to be cherished, it has also created a significant uptick in the number of older adults requiring care of one form or another – care that is often provided by their adult children.

Taking care of an elderly parent can be a very rewarding experience, but when factored into life’s many other daily demands, it can be exhausting – both physically and emotionally. More than a third of family caregivers rate their job as emotionally stressful, and nearly one in five experience a high level of physical strain, according to this AARP report.

While many new caregivers feel they can roll up their sleeves and enthusiastically soldier through their responsibilities, not having a plan to handle work, family tasks and making time for self-care can lead to caregiver burnout, depression and health problems. Here are some tips to help you maintain a better balance of work, caregiving and personal life.

How to manage caregiving responsibilities

The first step to managing your caregiving is to be objective about all of the specific tasks and responsibilities you truly have, and then reach out to as many family members and friends as you can to ask for help. Here are some ways to make this a little easier

  • Build a support team – Create a contact list with email and phone numbers for all family and friends that can help.
  • Make a task list – Write down all of your caregiver responsibilities, organizing them by daily, weekly and monthly tasks. Make this list concise but also comprehensive – you might be surprised at how quickly those smaller tasks can add up. Divide your list into what can be done in the home (meals, housekeeping, personal care) vs. outside (grocery shopping, special errands, doctor appointments). Try to combine outside activities as best you can to consolidate travel time.
  • Share the list – Make a copy of this list for your support team and be specific about the tasks you need their help with the most. There are several on-line schedulers that may make this easier to both compile your list and share with others. Be flexible and offer options that make it easier for everyone to pitch in. If someone can’t contribute their time, perhaps they can contribute funds to help cover costs to occasionally hire a professional caregiver or transportation service when you aren’t available or simply need a break.
  • Answer questions – Some members of your support team may have questions about medications or mobility issues. Others may be uncomfortable with tasks like dressing or bathing. Ask everybody if they have any questions or concerns and address them as best you can.

How to make more time for yourself

Once you’ve got a handle on your caregiving tasks and secured help from family and friends, here are some additional ways to make more time for yourself:

  • Preemptive steps – Whether you’re caring for your parent in their home or yours, make the home safe to help prevent falls or other injuries that could create additional caregiver responsibilities if overlooked. Also, be mindful of how social isolation and loneliness in older adults can create situations that make providing care more challenging – learn the warning signs and what you can do to help.
  • Find outside care – There are many local and national organizations that provide both paid and volunteer respite-care services. A good place to start your search is the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging. Explore short-term stays at senior living communities in your area – they provide you with a break and allow your parent to experience the personal care, amenities, meals and events that community life offers.
  • Just say no – There is only so much time in the day, so don’t overcommit. Fulfilling obligations with family and friends is important, but so is taking time to relax and rejuvenate. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation with simple regrets or, if you like, send a small gift or bottle of wine for others to enjoy in your absence.
  • Unplug – Making more time for yourself starts with limiting distractions, so turn off your email and avoid the endless scrolling on social media – it will all be waiting for you tomorrow.
  • Relax – Sounds easy enough, but it’s easy to lose yourself in your day without taking a breath. Whether it’s sitting down with a good book, spending time in the garden, yoga, meditation or simple breathing exercises, it’s important to unwind. Even if you have a crazy busy schedule, devote at least five minutes of the day to something you love that brings you value and joy.
  • Connect – Whether it’s a phone call, coffee date or an evening out, spending time with family and friends outside of your caregiving responsibilities can help relieve stress and recharge you for the day ahead.

How to lower your stress

When you’re stressed, you are more likely to sleep poorly, tire easily and be irritable with others, including those you are caring for – but you can help manage stress by modifying your behavior. Getting more sleep increases your capacity for patience. Getting more exercise releases endorphins that reduce feelings of anxiousness and depression.

Here are a few ways to reduce stress and increase the calm in your day:

  • Breathe – Sit quietly and comfortably and breathe deeply while you count your breaths from 1 to 10. Repeat this while remaining focused on the moment. It’s natural for your mind to drift, but still your thoughts and do your best to stay focused on the moment. Doing this for even a few minutes each day can relieve stress.
  • Visualize – If just sitting and breathing makes you feel too awkward, try doing it while picturing a relaxing scene. Maybe it’s lying on the beach or gently floating through a cool tropical forest. Visualizing peaceful scenes while you do your deep breathing takes you on a mental vacation of sorts, which helps rejuvenate your mind.
  • Get out – If you need a more active way to relax, try a walking meditation. This is similar to a neighborhood stroll, but with deliberate deep breathing while being focused on everything you are experiencing in the moment – the smells of the grass, the rustling of the trees, the barking of a distant dog. Immersing yourself deeply in each moment of your walk will leave you feeling more refreshed and buoyant when you get home.
  • Creative mindfulness – Whether it’s painting, coloring, strumming a guitar, gardening, working a puzzle or raking a sandy Zen garden, being engaged in a creative outlet has a calming effect that can make you feel renewed and more at ease.
  • Exercise – Walking the dog, cycling classes, yoga – nothing gets those endorphins pumping better than exercise. Solo is fine, but having a partner or joining a group at the fitness center can make workouts more fun.

We’re always here to help

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with other senior living organizations and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family. Whether you are considering a short-term stay or simply need advice, please reach out to your local Atria community director today and they’ll be happy to help in any way they can.

Our Guide to Balancing a Busy Schedule and Caregiving (PDF)

Categories
Family Dynamics

Supporting your parents and children at the same time

Photo of a family spending time together

Of the many challenges shared by the sandwich generation, perhaps the most challenging is trying to balance the needs of loved ones while not sacrificing your own health and mental state of mind.

The “sandwich generation” refers to people who are caring for and supporting their parents and children at the same time. Raising children or caring for an elder takes considerable energy and mental resources on its own, let alone concurrently. And that’s not to mention attempting to maintain a career or have any time for oneself. It’s a lot to have on your plate.

If you’ve found yourself in the sandwich generation, you are not alone. According to a Pew research study, nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child (age 18 or older). And about one-in-seven middle-aged adults (15%) is providing financial support to both an aging parent and a child.

Here’s some advice to help you keep on top of your caregiving responsibilities and better manage this demanding stage of life.

Carefully weigh everyone’s needs

Children and aging parents have very different needs. You may find yourself having to make difficult choices about who you should attend to and when. Children’s lives are filled with meaningful milestones including sports tournaments, awards ceremonies or even having children of their own – grandchildren you will most likely want to spend time with. At the same time, older parents have pressing medical concerns and require timely assistance with basic needs and transportation. You also have your personal wants and job responsibilities.

Try to think objectively about whose needs are most urgent and whether or not you can delegate. Could someone else accompany your parent to an important doctor’s appointment while you take your daughter shopping for a prom dress? Would it be possible for someone else to pick the kids up from school so you can check on your mother who recently suffered a fall? Think about what your loved one would want you to do and which choice you will be most comfortable having made later. You must also come to accept that sometimes you simply have to say “no” without feeling remorse or overwhelming guilt.

Find efficiency where you can

There’s more than enough to do while you simultaneously support your child and care for aging parents. Streamlining those tasks whenever and wherever possible is a necessity. Little things can add up quickly, so look for even tiny tweaks you can make in your day. When communicating with family, reach out to everyone involved at once through a group text or email chain. If you’re in charge of coordinating care, create a centralized spreadsheet online that everyone involved can access and update. Plan your day to consolidate trips as much as possible; consider going to grocery stores and other businesses that are closer to where you need to be than your usual or preferred stops.

Ask others to pitch in

You are only one person, but you are not the only person capable of helping. Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for assistance. Most people are happy to help, but they aren’t sure what they should or can do. Let them know. Perhaps they could help with your older parent with shopping, help you with family meal planning or pitch in with transportation to and from school or doctor appointments. Even if someone isn’t close by, they can still help care for a parent when they come for an occasional visit or can contribute financially for respite care. And don’t undervalue the importance of simply having a sympathetic ear when you’re feeling stretched thin.

Balance caregiving and your career

If you are in a position to do so, speak with your employer about changing your schedule, working more flexible hours or going part-time for a little while. You could also ask to use any sick days and paid time off you have or even take unpaid leave. Through the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), certain employees are eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year without risking their jobs. FMLA policies are dependent on the length of time you’ve worked with your employer, the number of hours you work each week and your health insurance status, but it is something to consider and discuss.

Many employers also offer services in their benefit packages that can help find back-up day care or other resources. Speak with your human resources department to see if your company is involved with those types of programs.

Call in the professionals

Friends and other family members can be a great support network, but there will be times when other obligations make them unavailable or times when they need to be supported, too. It’s okay to reach out for professional help. This may look like respite care so you can take some time to recharge and care for yourself. It could be that you enlist the help of a grocery or meal delivery service or hire a tutor for your children.

Many people in the sandwich generation may find that housekeeping services prove most helpful; when your home environment is clean and organized, it can help put you in a better headspace, which makes it easier to handle your day-to-day responsibilities. If your parent’s care needs are more substantial, consider home health services. And don’t forget your needs – explore support groups to help manage your own physical, mental and emotional health.

Talk to someone

The simple act of stating your feelings out loud can have a big impact on your ability to manage those feelings. Lean on your spouse, siblings or a trusted confidant who has experienced your situation – or consider joining a support group. Having someone to relate to and knowing you’re not alone can be empowering. If you’re comfortable with doing so and financially able to, consider speaking with a professional. A therapist or counselor can help you look objectively at your feelings and work through negative emotions. It’s a safe place where you can let your guard down and learn coping skills that will benefit everyone.

Let yourself recharge

The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of everyone else. Self-care isn’t all spa days, meditation and pampering. Sometimes self-care is as simple as getting a full eight hours of sleep a night or taking time to prepare a healthy meal at home. If you function better when you hit the gym regularly or meet a friend for coffee once a week, don’t let go of that. Determine your non-negotiable needs, and make sure they are met. You matter, too, and you’ll be a better parent and caregiver if you prioritize yourself every once in a while.

Most importantly, show yourself compassion. Acknowledge that sometimes there will not be an even balance. Some weeks you will focus more on your spouse and children, others on your aging parent. Prioritize to the best of your ability, trust yourself to make good decisions and forgive yourself when you can’t do it all. This is also a good time to gently introduce your elderly parent to the benefits of a senior living community – it’s much easier to start this conversation when an immediate decision is not required, giving you both time to explore options together.

We’re always here to help

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with other senior living organizations and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family. Feel free to reach out to your local Atria Community Director today.

Categories
Caregiving

How to Reduce Falls at Home

Older woman with her two daughters smiling and laughing together
caregiver and health care professional

According to a study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), more than three-quarters of adults age 50 and older in the U.S. prefer to live in their own homes as long as possible. However, a study by the U.S. Census Bureau found that less than 10 percent of homes are “aging-ready,” and present considerable health and safety risks for older adults.

Whether you need to help make an elderly parent’s home safer or your home for a parent moving in, here are some important tips and senior safety devices to help keep your parent as safe and independent as possible.

The first step – preparing for change

Change is hard at any age, and it can often be more challenging as we get older. Change can represent loss of control and this, in turn, can feel like losing independence. So, before you start making any home modification plans, it’s important to talk things over with your parent. Keeping your parent involved in the decision-making process helps things go more smoothly by eliminating the negative reactions that typically arise when people feel like they’ve been deliberately kept out of the loop.

Also, don’t bring up everything that needs to change all at once. It’s best to start the conversation with any small changes that need to be made and take care of those first, and then gradually introduce larger issues. Involving your parent’s doctor in the discussion may also make things easier as your parent may be more willing to accept advice from a trusted professional.

Reducing falls at home

In the U.S., falls are the leading cause of injury and death for older adults. In fact, about 36 million falls are reported among older adults each year, resulting in more than 32,000 fatalities. There are many factors that can make one more prone to falling, such as:

  • Decreased visual acuity
  • Declining motor skills
  • Decreased cognitive abilities
  • Certain medications
  • Medical history of stroke or Parkinson’s disease

The good news is many falls are preventable. Here are some ways you can help your parent reduce the risk of falling:

  • Stay active – Being physically fit goes a long way to prevent falls. Have your parent focus on activities and movements that strengthen the legs and improve balance, like tai chi – consult your parent’s doctor for activities that are best suited if they have mobility issues
  • Assistive devices – If your parent requires better support and balance, consider walking aids such as walking stick, tripod, walking frame or rollator – and make sure the rooms in which it is used provide needed clearance and are free of clutter. Reaching aids that help your parent to obtain an item safely, without stretching or over-balancing, can also prevent falls.
  • Remove trip hazards – Replace all throw rugs and mats with non-slip versions. Rugs should be changed throughout the house, but make the kitchen, bedroom and any bathrooms a first priority. Secure or reroute any exposed electrical cords and remove all low-profile furniture and any floor-level clutter that may pose a risk.
  • House pets – This can be a delicate subject, but cats and dogs can pose a significant fall risk. If a pet is highly energetic, erratic in behavior or prone to sudden bursts of running around inside the house, consider securing an area of the house with pet gates (like the kitchen or laundry room) so the pet still has plenty of room but isn’t a constant tripping threat. Also, be mindful that pet toys scattered on the floor are also tripping hazards – store them in a basket or box when not in play.
  • Thresholds – Changes from tile to wood or carpet can contribute to falls. Applying a strip of bright orange tape on thresholds can help your parent identify a change in the floor surface. Raised flooring between rooms can also be an issue – ask a safety expert about flattening thresholds or adding small ramps or handrails. If the floor itself is too slippery, consider applying non-slip strips or replacing with non-slip flooring.
  • Floor lighting – It always helps to see where one’s going, so install plug-in or battery-powered lights along well-traveled paths, such as bed to bathroom and around the kitchen. Motion sensor lights are an option that are perfect for the bathroom and hallways. While shedding light on the situation can help avoid falls, be sure any conventional floor lamps are secured to the ground and that both the lamps and their cords are tucked away behind furniture and not placed in walking paths.
  • Stepping up safety – If the home has multiple levels, make every effort to move all essential activities to the first floor. If this is not possible, consider installing a personal elevator or stair lift chair. If mobility is not a concern, then make sure all stairways have firm handrails. Consider replacing exterior steps with ramps where possible or installing handrails and non-slip strips to existing steps.
  • Grab bars – Grab bars are quite common in bathrooms, but consider installing them throughout the house where a steady hand could prevent a fall, such as the kitchen, bedroom or by a recliner.
  • Clothing and footwear – Ensure your parent has clothing that is neither too constrictive nor too loose, as long, loose pant legs could trip them up. Check to make sure they are wearing non-skid shoes/slippers in the home and avoid laces on shoes if they can’t be securely tied.

Make the home furniture-friendly

Whether it’s a favorite recliner or cherished antique table handed down through the generations, home furnishings can have strong emotional attachments. Creating a safer environment for your parent may be as simple as rearranging existing furniture for easier accessibility, but some items – no matter how beloved – may need to be carefully reconsidered for their potential safety risks. Here are ways to make furnishings safer throughout the home:

  • Make space – Arrange furniture so there are clear walking paths, making sure that there’s a good three feet of clearance for safer mobility and to minimize fall hazards. This may require moving some furnishings to other parts of the house or possibly passing along to other family members, selling or donating. Again, calmly discuss this with your parent before making any changes, let them know why you are suggesting these changes and, if they need to be removed, let them help decide where such furnishings should go.
  • Beware of glass and sharp corners – That coffee table may have hosted many family game nights, but if it has sharp corners or a glass top, it would be best to replace it with a round table and forgo any breakable glass adornments.
  • Secure shelving – If your parent were to trip, it’s only natural for them to grab onto whatever is nearby to prevent their fall. If what they grab onto happens to be an unsecured shelving unit, they could sustain more injuries than had they simply fallen to the ground. Make sure all shelving or storage units are secured to the wall so they can’t inadvertently topple on top of them.
  • Chairs – Avoid rocking chairs and chairs on wheels that will move when someone attempts to sit. If your parent could use a little help standing up, consider a chair lift recliner, the cost of which may be covered under Medicare.
  • In the bedroom – Most bed frames position the mattress 20 to 23 inches off the floor, but your parent may find it easier if the bed is positioned higher or lower. If they use a wheelchair, then the mattress should be as level as possible with the seat of the wheelchair. If your parent has experienced any falls from bed, then consider safety bed rails for seniors, wedge pillows, or a frame that positions the mattress lower to the ground or has adjustable height, making it easier to get in and out. If changing the placement of their bed, make sure it is positioned so your parent can get out of bed on the side they are accustomed to.
  • In the bathroom – Install night lights to illuminate the path to the bathroom. To minimize your parent’s risk of falling while in the bathroom, consider grab bars near the toilet and in the shower, as well as a raised toilet seat, shower chair and transfer bench. If they are at high risk for falling and frequently use the bathroom in the middle of the night, gently suggest that a bedside commode may be the safest option.

Safety alarms

No matter how risk-free you make the home, there is always a chance an accident will occur. There are a host of emergency-alert wearable devices and services to choose from, many of which can be self-installed. Explore the various options and choose the ones that best suit your parent’s needs and give you peace of mind.

You should also check existing house alarms to make sure they have fresh batteries and are in good working order. Here’s a list of things you should consider:

  • Smoke detectors
  • Carbon monoxide detectors
  • Fire extinguishers
  • Stove alarms
  • Gas stove safety knobs

Make the home easier to manage

Removing potential fall and safety hazards is important, but also consider small things that can be done to makes everyday activities easier, too.

  • Remove all the clutter – Clear out those old stacks of newspapers and magazines, create a box for mail, put any dirty laundry on the floor into a hamper and move any favored knick-knacks to a central location – or, better yet, ask if they can be stored away. Such items pose tripping hazards and free up space that may be used for more crucial items.
  • Make everyday items more accessible – Once you’ve decluttered the floor and countertops, consider using some of that space for everyday essentials like eyeglass cleaner, moisturizer and tissues. If possible, put bathroom necessities within easy reach, like their toothbrush, toothpaste, liquid soap and eye drops. Minimize items in the shower with an organizer that holds just a few essentials, and make sure the shower floor has non-slip strips.
  • Organize the refrigerator and pantry – Make nutritious food choices easy by cleaning out the fridge and making sure desirable items are placed front and center. This goes for any food stored in the pantry as well. Remove any opened bags of snacks that may have gone stale and double-check those expiration dates – that bottle of spaghetti sauce or can of condensed milk may have gone bad months ago.

Home safety tips for older adults with dementia

Here are some additional safety precautions to help prevent dementia and Alzheimer’s home safety risks. These would apply for older adults whose cognitive impairment can be managed at home – those with more significant memory loss may need around-the-clock supervision, which should be determined by an appropriate medical professional.

  • Use appliances with auto-shutoff features – Install hidden gas valves and circuit breakers so that ovens, fireplaces and stoves aren’t left on.
  • Put finger guards on garbage disposals – In lieu of finger guards, you can cover on/off switches with safety locks.
  • Lock up harmful items – Put locks on any drawers or cabinets containing knives, cleaning supplies or medication. Secure garages or basements that may contain harmful chemicals or machinery.
  • Remove bedroom and bathroom locks – This will prevent accidental lock-ins, which could create a panic.
  • Use technology – If wandering outside the home is a concern, GPS tracking through your parent’s smartphone can keep you updated on their location. A tracking device, such as an AirTag®, placed in their wallet or insole of their shoes can also help.
  • Create clear paths and open areas – This encourages independence and social interaction, which according to Alzheimer’s Association®, are two important needs for people with dementia.

Don’t wait to be safe

As mentioned earlier, it’s best to gradually introduce any changes that need to be made, but don’t wait to get started. It’s better to prepare the home before an emergency or life-changing event takes place. The changes you make can help avoid accidents, reduce fall risks and make it easier for your parent to age at home.

We’re always here to help

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with other senior living organizations and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family. Reach out to your local Atria community today and they’ll be happy to help.

Our Guide to Making Home Safer for Your Parent (PDF)

Categories
Caregiving

Tips and resources for first-time caregivers

Senior woman and her adult daughter gardening on a nice summer day
Senior woman and her adult daughter gardening on a nice summer day

As families age, roles reverse, and adult children often find themselves playing the part of caregiver for a senior parent. This may happen slowly in phases or all at once due to an accident or sudden onset of disease. No matter the circumstances, becoming your parent’s caregiver is often a difficult position to navigate for all involved.

It is wise to anticipate the needs your loved one may have as they age, when possible. This may begin with providing transportation to and from errands or doctor’s appointments and evolve into helping with meals and housekeeping or handling finances. Below, you’ll find advice for first-time caregivers and tips for caring for aged parents at home.

Have an earnest conversation

Planning care for an aging parent can be uncomfortable to talk about, but it is a necessary conversation. The sooner you begin discussing what the future could look like, the better it will be. If you wait until decisions are imminent, stress and urgency can make it more difficult to evaluate options, and those options may be more limited.

  • Broach the topic gently – No one likes to have a difficult discussion they aren’t prepared for; it can put people on the defensive. Look for a natural opening to bring up the subject with your parent. For example, if your parent mentions joint pain, you could ask if that’s been impacting their ability to make it up and down stairs or get around the house on their own.
  • Be persistent, but patient – Understandably, older adults are often hesitant to leave the home they’ve made for themselves. They may have been there for decades, forging cherished memories of raising children, entertaining friends and family or investing time and resources into the property itself. It will likely take several conversations to help your parent accept that they need assistance. Forcing the issue can create a combative situation that only makes a difficult situation more challenging.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk about money – Figuring out finances is an unavoidable topic when making arrangements for an aging parent. You’ll need to take stock of any savings or assets they may have, as well as determine how much you and other family members are able to contribute. The earlier you start this process, the more time there will be to save.
  • Get others’ opinions – Remember, your assessment of the situation isn’t the only point of view. It’s crucial to talk to your siblings and have them involved with these same conversations with your parent. Consider asking your parent’s doctors, other family members and trusted friends what they think is best.
  • Listen to your loved one – Your parent deserves to have their opinion heard, too. The opportunity to express one’s preferences and concerns can be empowering. Let your parent be an active participant in as many decisions as possible.

Know what to expect

Knowledge is power. Gather as much information as you can so that you can make informed decisions and be prepared for the future.

  • Research the disease or disability – If your parent has received a diagnosis, knowing how the disease or disability may progress can help you anticipate what additional care or resources may be necessary down the line. That way, you can make decisions now that could potentially make things easier later. Understand their medications, the purpose of each, side effects and dosage – forgetting medication is often a common sign of aging, so be prepared to help with this.
  • Search for resources – Be thorough in your research when considering care options for an aging parent. There are plenty of resources online that can help. If you know anyone who has navigated a similar situation, ask for their advice, too. Explore all your options, such as day programs for older adults or in-home care that could help your parent prepare for a transition to assisted living or memory care if and when it becomes necessary.
  • Understanding dementia – A parent diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia will have additional care needs, which you can learn more about by reading this blog and downloading this comprehensive PDF guide.

Assemble a care team

Many hands make light work. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family, neighbors, clergy or care professionals.

  • Find a role for everyone – Everyone can play a meaningful and helpful part in caring for an older adult. Even a simple phone call to keep loneliness at bay can make a big impact. Neighbors and relatives may be able to assist with transportation or accompany your parent to doctor appointments. Those who live farther away may be able to contribute financially or help research and gather useful information.
  • Designate a leader – A leader isn’t someone who is ultimately responsible or in charge of making executive decisions. Instead, the care team leader should task themselves with making sure issues get addressed in a timely manner, ensuring there are no gaps in care, anticipating future needs that may arise and keeping the care team on the same page.
  • Consider a mediator – Even when people have the best intentions, it can be hard to agree on the often emotionally charged decisions that need to be made when providing care for a senior parent. Family dynamics come into play, and personalities may clash. An unbiased, third-party mediator can help iron things out so everyone can focus on what’s really important: making sure your loved one gets the care they need.

Develop a clear care plan

When expectations and responsibilities aren’t conveyed directly, things often slip through the cracks. Everyone involved in caring for an aging parent needs to know what their role is and how that role fits into the larger care plan.

  • Delegate to others – Caring for an aging or ailing parent is a big task; no one should feel they have to shoulder it alone, especially first-time caregivers. Seek the support of siblings and divvy up tasks among the care team according to their proximity and abilities.
  • Be honest with yourself – Ask yourself what you are truly able and willing to do or contribute to a loved one’s care and ask others to do the same. Taking on more than you can handle can lead to stress and fatigue, so consider seeking outside support.
  • Put it in writing – Write up a summary of care needs and persons assigned to meet them. This may change as life circumstances evolve, perhaps with a cross-country move or the birth of a child, but having something in writing will make it easy to keep track of who is doing what–and to reconfigure responsibilities if and when that becomes necessary.
  • Facilitate communication – Use technology to your advantage. Consider a group chat, dedicated email chain or even a Facebook family group to keep everyone in the loop.
  • Care for your loved one

Once you’ve educated yourself, created a care team and outlined a clear care plan, you’ll be best prepared to provide care for your aging parent.

  • Keep them safe – First and foremost, you need to ensure your senior parent is safe, especially if they are aging in place. That could look like accessibility modifications to the home, incorporating an emergency alert system, providing transportation or arranging for daily wellness check visits.
  • Be an advocate – Attend doctor’s appointments with your parent and ask questions. Medical terminology can be daunting, and information overload is real. Gaps in care or poor information sharing between providers can also be roadblocks to care; having an informed advocate will make sure all the moving parts work together.
  • Seek out training – As a first-time caregiver, you will be asked to perform duties you may have never encountered before. Don’t be afraid to seek out training on how to do things like dress a wound and administer medication or how to use specialized medical equipment.
  • Stay organized – This is great advice for any undertaking, but it is especially important for first-time caregivers. Keep records of doctors, healthcare providers and medications, as well as information on insurance policies, government assistance programs and other pertinent details handy.

Care for yourself

You are important, too. It’s vitally important that you make sure your needs are met, so that you can best help care for your aging parent.

  • Understand the total cost – Becoming a caregiver is more than a financial commitment. Understand that it will also require time and emotional investment. Be realistic with yourself about how multiple facets of your life may need to be adjusted.
  • Work with your employer – If possible, ask your employer if they can accommodate a more flexible schedule that would allow you to provide care.
  • Be compassionate with yourself – Remember: you are only human. Treat yourself with kindness and consider finding a support group for caregivers, either online or in your area.
  • Arrange for respite care – Respite care is short-term care that can be arranged for an afternoon or several days to provide relief for caregivers. Providing care to an aging parent can be demanding, and respite care workers are there to help.
  • Make time for yourself – Helping others can be very demanding, both physically and emotionally. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well and exercising. If things become overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist
  • Care that fosters confidence

At Atria Senior Living, we believe care is an important, yet discreet, part of life that empowers older adults to stay active, grow and engage in what brings purpose and joy. We offer tiered care for older adults ranging from assistance with medication and personal grooming to round-the-clock memory care – learn more here.

We’re always here to help

As a leader in the industry, Atria Senior Living is happy to share our expertise and offer any support we can – even if the support you need is from someone other than us. We can call on our trusted relationships with other senior living organizations and resources to put you in touch with the best solution for you and your family. Feel free to reach out to your local Atria Community Director today.

Our Guide for First Time Caregivers (PDF)