Author: ecoyne

Categories
Caregiving

What to do when elderly parents refuse help

Older man talking with a Atria Senior Living employee

The relationship between children and their parents is one that is very complex and continues to evolve over time. While there can be bumps along the way, most family issues are usually resolved without lasting emotional trauma and can create even deeper bonds. However, even the strongest relationships can be put to the test when adult children are faced with confronting a parent who refuses any help they might need due to their age or physical condition.

It’s certainly not easy dealing with aging parents in denial and unwilling to speak about or admit their increasing need for assistance. If you’ve ever been stressed over this situation, you’re not alone. According to a Penn State University research study, a whopping 77% of adult children believe their parents are reluctant to take their advice or refuse help with daily tasks.

Here’s the good news – there are some simple things you can do that make having these types of discussions with a parent go more smoothly. But first, let’s review some of the more common signs that indicate your parents need help.

Signs your aging parents may not be able to live safely on their own

Living with chronic pain, the loss of close friends, financial issues and the simple act of getting older are factors that can contribute to your parents becoming more irritable, irrational or demanding. But there are some clear indicators that reveal if they may be jeopardizing their health and safety by living alone.

  • Weight loss – Weight can drop dramatically when one is not eating well. Older adults are often more susceptible as they may have issues getting to the grocery store or simply don’t have the desire or energy to prep, cook and clean up – cooking for one can be very difficult, especially after the loss of a spouse. Such conditions can quickly lead to poor eating habits and malnutrition, which in turn weakens the immune system and increases the risk of developing other health concerns. Check their cupboards and refrigerator to see if they are stocked with nutritional food. If you notice a parent has lost significant weight, consider working with a nutritionist, helping your parent with grocery shopping and meal prep, or hiring a prepackaged meal delivery service.
  • Poor hygiene – Forgetting to shower, neglecting grooming habits, wearing dirty clothes and avoiding other personal hygiene are often signs that a parent is struggling with cognitive decline, loneliness or depression. Checking in with daily calls, making a laundry schedule and planning events outside the home are all ways you can help. There are also homecare services that can help with daily grooming, toileting and light housekeeping.
  • Messy home – A cluttered home poses safety risks and can even lead to health issues. Also check their mail – are there stacks of unpaid bills lying around? This could be a sign that cognitive decline is setting in. If this is a concern, elder-proof their home and consider hiring a cleaning service to check in on your parent and tidy up once a week.
  • Vehicle damage – Give your parent’s car the once-over. If you notice new scratches or dents, this could be a sign of failing eyesight or delayed reflexes. It may be time to reassess if it’s safe for them to continue driving and, if it’s not, contact family and friends to make a weekly schedule based on who is able to help.
  • Jokes about getting lost – We all have our “got lost” stories, but if your parent repeatedly says they’ve had trouble finding their car in a parking lot or get disoriented while walking along familiar routes, this might indicate something more serious. Their laughing off such incidents may be a defense mechanism or simply denial. Talk to your parent about being evaluated by a medical professional who can diagnose and treat cognitive health issues.
  • Low energy – While most everyone slows down as they age, a sudden or severe lack of energy could be a warning sign. If your parent appears run down or frequently complains they are tired and have no energy to do things, consider scheduling a doctor’s visit. Loneliness, depression, not taking routine medications properly or a newly acquired physical malady can contribute to exhaustion.
  • More frequent falls – More than one out of four older adults fall each year, and it’s the leading cause of decline in the senior population’s health. There are many factors that can contribute to falling including lower body weakness, vision problems and vitamin deficiencies. As a serious fall can quickly turn an independent lifestyle to one that is immobile and requires extensive medical treatment, it pays to do a risk assessment. Clear your parent’s house of any unneeded clutter, tack down or remove any loose rugs, and encourage them to go for walks, attend an exercise class, maintain a healthy diet and get a good night’s sleep.
  • A messy medicine cabinet – Are your parent’s medications in order or do you see a lot of bottles with lapsed expiration dates? Not taking medications regularly can obviously be detrimental to your parent’s health and can create a domino effect that results in more adverse physical and mental issues. Help organize their meds and set them up with a medication reminder – like digital smartphone apps – to help keep them on track. Make a list of all medications they are taking along with the correct dosages and keep this information handy so you can discuss it with their doctor.

If you detect one or more of these issues with your parent, set aside time to calmly discuss your concerns. Unless their safety is in immediate peril, rather than suggest any immediate action, it sometimes helps to let them think about what you’ve told them. Giving them time to process the information so that exploring next steps – such as a doctor visit or advice from objective experts – goes more smoothly.

How to help your parents accept care

When you begin to notice that your parent’s actions and behavior are a serious risk to their health and safety, here are some tips to help reduce any resistance, resentment and anxiety that may arise when you express your concerns and offer ways to help them.

  • Have empathy – Be aware that your parent may be struggling with the physical, mental and emotional aspects of aging. Taking a moment to understand their mindset and being mindful of their feelings can help you better communicate your concerns. Your tone of voice, body language and the words you use to express yourself can make all the difference in having them accept your help.
  • Respect their sense of agency – Understanding that your parent’s independence is important to them can help you identify the root causes of their behavior and help you determine the best way to make positive changes.

Ask these questions about your parent’s behavior:

  • Are they acting this way out of habit?
  • Is this behavior change recent?
  • Has some incident triggered this change?
  • Are they worried about losing their independence?
  • Are they suffering from depression or anxiety?
  • Are they confused or do they have dementia?
  • What are some things they may be fearing?

Remember that the goal is to help your parent receive the best care possible. Even though it may feel like the parent-child relationship has flip-flopped, avoid infantilizing your parent – dealing with a stubborn parent is not the same as dealing with a stubborn child. You’re more likely to get cooperation when you approach them as adults, whether it be something as routine as medication reminders or more involved issues, such as diabetes treatment.

  • Accept the situation – Despite your best intentions, you have to accept that your parent is an adult and entitled to make decisions about their own life and how much assistance or care they are willing to receive. Doing so can help reduce your stress, manage your expectations and improve your relationship with your aging parent.
  • Choose your battles – Even though your intentions are good, repeatedly asking a parent to change their behavior can be quickly misconstrued as nagging. To avoid this issue, focus on the most pressing issues, making those that affect their health and safety a top priority. If there are several serious concerns, focus on one or two at a time so the parent doesn’t feel overwhelmed. Consider having a medical professional bring up your concerns with your parent as they may be more receptive to accepting advice from someone who isn’t their child.
  • Explain how their behavior affects others – While it may be easy for your parent to disregard the consequences of their actions on themselves, they may be more sympathetic when you frame how they affect their loved ones. Gently explain the stress and anxieties that their refusing help causes you, or how an unhealthy habit, like smoking, poses the risk of second-hand smoke to their grandchildren.
  • Don’t keep things bottled up – It’s easy to internalize all the stress that comes when dealing with an uncooperative parent, and the fear, frustration and anxiety can become overwhelming. Don’t take it on by yourself. Rely on family members – such as your spouse or siblings – as an outlet for you to share your feelings and ask them to have these same conversations with your parent. Finding activities and people you can confide in will help release any pent-up negative emotions.
  • Give them something to look forward to – Whether it’s an anniversary, graduation, wedding or simply a family game night, making your parent part of a future event may encourage them to take positive actions, like bathing, grooming and dressing up for the occasion. It may also motivate them to more willingly accept any needed care or assistance you suggest. Send them gentle reminders of the special date, talk about it frequently, put it on their calendar – anticipating an upcoming event can often brighten someone’s day as much as the event itself.

When you’ve tried everything, but your parent still refuses help

You’ve been proactive about creating a long-term care plan. You’ve patiently listened to your parent’s needs. You’ve sought the advice of family, friends and healthcare professionals. You’ve had open conversations that come from a place of love and caring. You’ve done all this, and your parent still refuses your help.

Sometimes even doing everything in your power may not be enough to convince your parent to take your advice and accept the care or help they may need. If your parent is unwilling to address the reality of their situation, accept that things are out of your hands and hope the seeds you’ve planted will sprout with a little more time. While this can feel like a huge setback, don’t give up hope. Keep communication open, keep expressing your love and concern, and stay open to any compromise your parent may suggest that puts them closer to the care they need.

Talking to others may also help ease your stress and explore different options. You may consider a support group, a senior living provider, talking to a director at a local senior living community or reading information that could make future discussions with your parent go more smoothly.

Our Guide on What to Do When an Elderly Parent Refuses Help (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Identify the warning signs of loneliness in seniors

Older female putting together a vase of flowers

Loneliness can affect people of every age, but it affects over 40% of older adults for whom it can be especially debilitating, leading to serious health problems and even death. For some, it begins with the loss of a spouse or a close friend. Or the onset may be more subtle, such as declining interest in what were once a favorite pastimes or hobbies. It can also lead to an unhealthy obsession with sweepstakes and gambling.

If you suspect your parent or loved one may be struggling with feelings of loneliness, read on to understand the warning signs and tips on how to help. But first, let’s identify what loneliness is, how it can be harmful, and some of the common myths associated with loneliness.

Loneliness vs isolation

To determine if an older adult is feeling lonely or becoming socially isolated, It’s important to differentiate the two.

Loneliness is a state of mind linked to the need for meaningful connection. It’s the distressing feeling of being alone or separated regardless of how much social contact one has.

Social isolation – which affects nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older – is not a feeling but a condition defined by the lack of social connections and having people to interact with regularly. More than a temporary feeling of being alone, it is an objective condition that involves the size of one’s social network, availability of transportation and the ability to access resources and information.

While social isolation can lead to loneliness, some people can still feel lonely even if they are not socially isolated. You can live alone and not feel lonely or socially isolated, and you can feel lonely while being with other people.

The health risks of loneliness

The underlying factors involved can manifest in many different ways, so precisely measuring social isolation and loneliness is difficult. However, studies have shown compelling evidence that adults aged 50 and older who are socially isolated or lonely have a higher degree of serious health risks, including:

  • Weakened immune system
  • Greater risk of high blood pressure
  • Greater risk of diabetes and sleep disorders
  • 29% increased risk of heart disease
  • 32% increased risk of stroke
  • Close to a 50% increased risk of dementia
  • 57% increased risk of emergency room visits
  • 68% increased risk of hospitalization
  • Higher rates of depression, anxiety and suicide
  • Greatly increased risk of premature death from all causes

Although it’s not a health risk, per se, it’s worth noting the dangers faced by older adults who can be susceptible to con artists who take advantage of the lonely. There are certainly many worthy and legitimate organizations, but there are also many unscrupulous telemarketers, false charities, contests, lotteries and sweepstakes that will try to steal people’s money. Discuss such matters with your parent and help by doing a little research before they write that check or send money online.

Loneliness myths

According to an AARP study, many people 40 years and older often dismiss the impact loneliness and social isolation may have on their own lives. Here are just a few of the misconceptions people have about loneliness:

  • The more people you know, the less lonely you’ll be
  • Loneliness and social isolation are synonyms for the same condition
  • Social isolation is usually brought on by a single event, like the death of a spouse
  • Loneliness and social isolation will never affect me personally

Almost half of those surveyed believe social isolation can cause physical effects, but most are unaware of how harmful such effects can be – a mere 28% are aware that prolonged social isolation is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Yet, despite the negative effects loneliness and social isolation can have on health, only 10% of medical practitioners asked their older adult patients about this during routine medical exams.

Warning signs of loneliness

The signs can differ depending on an individual’s situation, but having a few or more of these symptoms may be an indicator of chronic loneliness:

  • Tiredness, low energy and lack of motivation
  • Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping too much
  • Change in appetite or sudden change in weight
  • Increased alcohol consumption, smoking or use of drugs/medication
  • Difficulty connecting with others or maintaining close friendships
  • Efforts to engage socially make you feel exhausted
  • Overwhelming feeling of isolation even when around others
  • Negative feelings of self-doubt and self-worth
  • Feelings of not being seen or heard
  • Thoughts of suicide

Factors that can lead to loneliness

Living alone, chronic illness and the loss of family or friends are all factors that increase the risk of loneliness and social isolation in older adults. Here are some more common causes for loneliness and feelings of seclusion among the elderly:

  • Lack of mobility – Losing the ability to drive can not only feel like a step towards decreased independence, but often severs one’s connections to favorite places and people.
  • Physical limitations – Chronic pain and other health issues that create difficulty getting around, further contributing to lack of mobility.
  • Poor vision and hearing – These afflictions affect each person differently, and for some, it creates feelings of alienation and anxiety, making them uncomfortable in noisy places with a lot of people.
  • Depression – Some estimates of major depression in older people range from less than 1% to about 5% but rise to 13.5% in those who require home healthcare – and those battling depression or anxiety are often reluctant to leave their home.
  • Financial concerns – If on a fixed income, older adults may avoid social activities because they feel any associated costs are too extravagant.

Loneliness and depression

While loneliness is one of many factors that can lead to depression, it is worth noting that many older adults are often misdiagnosed and undertreated. Why? Because healthcare providers may misconstrue the symptoms of depression as just a natural reaction to illness or the life changes that are often associated with aging. Older adults often share this belief and regretfully don’t seek help, which is unfortunate as they could feel better with appropriate treatment.

If you are concerned that a parent or loved one may be battling depression, offer to take them to see a healthcare provider to be diagnosed and treated.

How to help a lonely parent

Social connections are critical when it comes to warding off loneliness. Social relationships encourage people to try new things and take better care of their health. It’s important to maintain a sense of purpose, and those who do usually have more meaningful connections, larger social networks and higher mental well-being scores.

“We’ve known for a long time that people who do not feel connected to something outside themselves feel a malaise, as if there’s a hole in their lives,” says psychiatrist Jacqueline Olds.

Here are some ways you can help an aging parent feel more connected to friends, family and their community:

  • Spend time connecting – Face to face is best, but not always possible. What’s important is that you check in regularly, even if by phone. Social media is another way to share family happenings and photos. Consider more frequent contact, too – you might be surprised how even a brief daily conversation can brighten your parent’s day and give them something to look forward to.
  • Be mindful of special days – Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries of both births and deaths can trigger lonely feelings. Make an extra effort to keep in touch during these times. Encourage your parent to talk about a favorite memory they have of that day or the person associated with it – or share your own. Hearing what their children remember about the family’s past can be a source of great joy for older adults.
  • Help them stay active – Whether it’s getting together with friends to have lunch, play cards or engage in a hobby, encourage your parent to connect with others – any situation where people meet regularly to work together on some common cause fosters meaningful relationships. Consider volunteer opportunities, adult education classes and exercise programs like walking groups or yoga. Explore group activities, games and social events offered by your local senior center.
  • Be a catalyst for change – Some people are simply not “joiners.” Sometimes a shy parent needs a little extra support – consider accompanying them to an event or help arrange transportation and facilitate the process.
  • Connecting outside their peer group – Explore volunteer opportunities that serve the younger generation, or search out organizations that connect older adults with youth for mentorship and mutual friendship.
  • Reach out for support – Make your parent’s neighbors aware of their living situation and ask if they’d consider occasionally checking in with your parent. Create a phone list of people nearby your parent and give them your contact information should they ever need to reach you in an emergency.
  • Consider companion care – If you and other family members live far away from your parents, explore home services that offer regular visits, medication reminders, meal preparation, shopping, transportation and more. Discuss scheduling a short-term stay at an area senior living community for your parent. This offers a more relaxed introduction to community living that allows your parent to experience the opportunities for daily engagement with others without having to make an immediate decision about moving.
  • Explore a senior living community – The type of social interaction and engaging events found in a vibrant senior living community combat loneliness and isolation by offering older adults daily opportunities to make meaningful connections, pursue existing hobbies and discover new interests.

Resources to help reduce loneliness and social isolation in older adults

Helping your aging parent combat loneliness is often an ongoing effort and can be very challenging. Here are some resources that may be of benefit:

Our Guide on How to Tell if Your Parent is Lonely (PDF)

Categories
Alzheimer’s & Dementia

Understanding dementia and providing proper care

Older woman and granddaughter smiling for a photo together

Forgetfulness and mild changes in memory may be common signs of aging. For example, we might occasionally misplace car keys, forget to pay a bill or struggle to find a word. Such small memory lapses are considered common. But ongoing problems with communication, memory and attention could be signs of a more serious issue called dementia.

It’s important to understand the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s, and how to provide care for your parent if they are diagnosed with this disease.

What is the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s disease?

Dementia is not a disease, but a broad term that refers to various conditions of more serious cognitive impairment. It is caused by damage to brain cells which can affect thinking, behavior and feelings.

There are many types of dementia including Lewy body dementia, mixed dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia and more.  Alzheimer’s is the most common form of dementia – accounting for 60–80% of dementia cases.

What we know about Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s disease is one of the most prevalent health concerns among adults ages 65 and older and is the sixth-leading cause of death in the United States. It is a degenerative disease resulting from brain cell damage where dementia symptoms gradually worsen over time.

Scientists are working hard to identify what causes this damage. They do know that, as this damage spreads, the brain cells lose their ability to function and then die. This causes irreversible changes in the brain that leads to memory failure, personality changes and problems carrying out daily activities.

A person with Alzheimer’s lives four to eight years on average after diagnosis, but depending on other factors, can live as long as 20 years.

Although scientists do not yet fully understand what causes the disease, it is currently believed that there is not a single cause but rather several factors that lead to Alzheimer’s.

  • Age is the most common risk factor.
  • Genetics – your family history may contribute to developing Alzheimer’s, but a healthy lifestyle may reduce that risk.
  • Education, diet and environment are being studied for their possible influence on developing Alzheimer’s.
  • The same healthy behaviors that help prevent cancer, diabetes and heart disease may also reduce the risk of dementia.

The early warning signs of Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia can affect each person differently, but there are some common symptoms to be mindful of. Trouble remembering new information is an early warning sign, because the disease first affects the part of the brain associated with learning.

As the disease progresses, disorientation, confusion and changes in behavior are commonly experienced, such as:

  • Getting lost in familiar places
  • Forgetting names of close family and friends
  • Confusion dealing with cash or trouble paying bills
  • Difficulty completing routine tasks
  • The inability to retrace steps to find misplaced items
  • Unusual changes in mood, personality or behavior

Exhibiting a few or even all of these signs is not a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s – these could be signs of a vitamin deficiency or a side effect from medication, so seek the counsel of healthcare professionals for an accurate diagnosis. If dementia is identified, they will offer options for treatment, help with enrollment in clinical trials and provide information on care needs.

How is Alzheimer’s treated?

Unfortunately, there is no cure for neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s. Although we have yet to discover how to prevent the disease or reverse its effects, researchers are developing drugs that can slow its progression and ease anxiety-related symptoms. Socialization has also been found to have a profound positive impact.

Medical management can improve quality of life for both those living with the disease and their caregivers. Treatment addresses several areas:

  • Maintaining brain health
  • Managing behavioral issues
  • Slowing symptoms of the disease

In general, physicians may prescribe certain medications that improve cell-to-cell communication networks. As of July 2021, the FDA approved aducanumab (Aduhelm) to treat some cases of Alzheimer’s.

A doctor may also recommend fostering an environment for an Alzheimer’s patient that’s calm, safe and supportive, and an exercise and nutrition regime that promotes overall well-being. (Specific suggestions may vary between providers.)

How to care for someone with Alzheimer’s

Family members are most often responsible for providing care for loved ones diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This is often a new role for the caregiver, and it’s natural to feel some anxiety over knowing what to expect and how to provide proper care. Along the way, you’ll need the support of others. As the disease progresses, more intensive care is often needed – care that requires ongoing attention which can be very demanding of one’s time and eventually becomes a full-time job. This overview will help you understand what to expect with the different stages of the disease.

Early-stage caregiving

If your parent’s Alzheimer’s is diagnosed in the beginning stage of the disease, they will likely be able to continue doing all the things they did before their diagnosis. This early stage can last for years, during which time it is important to provide companionship, support and plan for the future. It’s also the time to discuss available treatments and clinical trials, and start building a support network of family, friends and neighbors.

At first, it is difficult to know how much assistance is needed, as many people with early-stage dementia are often very independent. Such everyday activities as dressing, bathing, walking and even driving may be well within their abilities. Here are some tips to help find the right balance of caregiving for your parent with early-stage Alzheimer’s:

  • Don’t over-help – Be mindful of how much assistance is truly needed. If your parent can complete a task alone – and there’s no immediate risk of injury – providing only the support or supervision necessary helps them maintain their independence.
  • Make a routine – Fill each day with opportunities for your parent to engage with others and make sure you allow for quality sleep.
  • Relax – Prioritize stress-free tasks and approach stress-inducers differently. If going to the grocery store is a stressor for your parent, ask them to help you with a weekly menu and grocery list, and then add this to your grocery trips or purchase online and have them delivered.
  • Stay positive – Assume your parent can safely handle a task. If they become frustrated, determine the cause before intervening. Focus on the moment rather than dwell on the future.
  • Get physical – Studies show that staying active may play a role in living better with dementia.
  • Eat healthy – Help your parent maintain a balanced diet that favors vegetables and is low in fat.
  • Help signal – Even in this early stage, your parent may need gentle reminders for daily activities such as keeping appointments and managing medications. Agree on a phrase or body cue – like a head nod – to help you know when they welcome your help remembering a place, a word or someone’s name.
  • Talk about it – Ask your parent what they need or if they’re feeling frustrated about something and make a plan to move forward together.
  • You’re in this together – Spend time doing activities together and ask if they feel comfortable with the amount of support you’re able to provide.

While this stage does not typically call for around-the-clock care, you may consider a senior community that offers memory care as it is usually easier for those with Alzheimer’s to adjust to a new environment during this early stage. Waiting to make such a move until the middle-stage of the disease often makes it more challenging for them to understand and feel comfortable in their new surroundings.

Middle-stage caregiving

This phase of Alzheimer’s is usually the longest and requires a greater degree of attention and care. More advanced brain damage makes it more challenging to do everyday tasks including speaking, getting dressed and maintaining personal hygiene. This can understandably lead to frustration and possibly escalate to feelings of anger, so it’s important to be patient and calmly provide support.

To be better prepared to adapt to the ongoing changes in behavior typical with this stage, consider support groups and educational workshops. It also helps to familiarize yourself with the most pressing concerns of this stage:

  • Communication – Repeating questions, stumbling over words, the inability to express thoughts and even reverting to a native language are common at this stage. It helps to address such instances in a calm manner, using a gentle tone and speaking slowly and distinctly. If the changes in communication are sudden or unusual, notify their doctor.
  • Daily care – As dementia progresses, your parent may need more help eating, grooming and dressing. They can understandably become angry or frustrated by their declining independence. Express compassion and encourage them to do as much as they are safely able to do but be at the ready with a helping hand.
  • Engaging activities – Providing routine activities can help subdue agitation and reduce the risk of wandering. These can be simple, everyday activities such as gardening, making a meal together, looking at family photos or going for a walk.
  • Driving – Revoking driving privileges is a sensitive subject as it further chips away at your parent’s independence – but when driving becomes a safety issue, there is no other choice. Try to make the decision together, stating concerns and providing assurance that alternate modes of transportation will be provided. If your parent is resistant, it may be helpful to have their physician be part of this conversation.
  • Wandering – While in the middle stage of this disease, your parent can’t be left alone as they are prone to accidents or wandering off. If your parent is living alone their safety could be jeopardized, so it may be best to have them move in with family, find residential care or consider a senior community that offers memory care.

Late-stage caregiving

Lasting several weeks to several years, this stage of Alzheimer’s usually requires around-the-clock care as needs deepen and become more life-threatening, which might include:

  • Difficulty swallowing and eating
  • Assistance walking until unable to walk
  • Full-time assistance with personal care
  • Assistance with toileting
  • Becoming more susceptible to infections

At this late stage, the focus should be on providing your parent proper care, compassion and participating in simple activities that support quality of life. Despite a person’s deteriorating condition, there are still opportunities to connect, such as:

  • Reading books, playing music and looking at old photos
  • Preparing favorite foods
  • Brushing hair and applying soothing skin lotions
  • Sitting outside to enjoy a sunny day

As care needs become more demanding, you’ll need to consider moving your parent to a facility that specializes in serving the needs of those with advanced Alzheimer’s. This can be the most challenging and stressful time in dealing with the disease, but the decision is about providing the proper care and understanding that outside help may be needed.

Memory care at Atria

At Atria, we believe that despite the difficulties of memory impairment, a person with dementia can continue to live an engaging, joyful, and meaningful life. Our proprietary approach to memory care, Life Guidance®, is a specialized program that promotes the health benefits of physical activity, social connection and individualized care. Learn more about all that Life Guidance® offers and read about some of the signs that it’s time to consider memory care.

Our Guide to Understanding Alzheimer’s vs. Dementia (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

A leader on the move

Abby Figueroa the Atria Senior Living SVP of Functional Operations smiling for the camera.

Joining the Atria team requires the type of exceptional skills, integrity and compassion that foster our high caliber of service and strong sense of family. Abby Figueroa meets all of these qualifications and then some. As Atria’s Senior Vice President of Functional Operations, her commitment to serving residents has uncovered talents she never knew she had.

Starting as a Staff Accountant, it wasn’t long before Abby was promoted to Community Business Director. In this leadership role, she became adept at everything from helping the community staff sign up for benefits to assisting residents with setting up their Wi–Fi and finding their grandkids’ addresses when sending out valentines.

After subsequent promotions to regional leadership positions, her skills and experience during the COVID-19 pandemic led to her current role of managing community operations that help keep residents and staff safe.

More than anything, Abby truly enjoys helping older adults reconnect with their talents and discover new purpose. “To me, the most amazing stories are how community life helps residents really blossom. They take up painting or volunteering. They’re able to resume having a relationship with their daughter as their daughter again, not as their caregiver,” Abby said. “This is why I love what I’m doing.”

Discover new purpose at Atria

We invite you explore the Atria communities in your area where you’ll find other people like Abby who provide the kind of support and opportunities that make it easier for older adults to pursue their passions with energy and optimism.

Find a community.

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

The power of music

Atria Senior Living resident, Ira, in his apartment

“Music is life itself,” is a Louis Armstrong quote that resonates deeply with Ira. When he made the move to Atria, music was Ira’s key to making new friends and renewing his sense of purpose.

Music was a powerful bond between Ira and his father, and it’s what inspired him to create a Musical Memories group. Beth, the Engage Life Director at Atria Forest Hills, encouraged Ira every step of the way. Soon, others were looking forward to tapping their feet, clapping their hands and singing along to Ira’s playlist at the group’s regular gatherings.

Atria helped Ira share his childhood joy and fostered meaning in his life through the many new friends he’s touched with his love of music.

Discover the power of connections at Atria

Atria provides the kind of support and opportunities that make it easier for older adults to pursue their passions with energy and optimism. Our vibrant communities offer the perfect environment to learn, grow and connect with others. We invite you to join Ira and other residents who’ve made Atria their home.

Find a community.

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Senior Aging & Health

Making colorful connections

Atria Senior Living resident, Sarah, in her art room

“At 94, I’ve lived many lives within one life.”

That 94-year old is Sarah, a passionate artist and resident at Atria on Roslyn Harbor. Her many lives include raising a family and being an accomplished illustrator, teacher and fine artist specializing in sculpture and painting.

Sarah says she approaches each day as though she’s going to live forever, because she doesn’t want to think that her age is holding her back from pursuing what brings her joy. For Sarah, this joy includes spending time with family and her continued passion for painting.

Atria is delighted to support Sarah’s interests and to provide a venue for her upcoming art show. Living at Atria has also helped her develop some very dear friendships. Sarah said she went from living on her own to joining a community where her wonderful friends and community staff provide a sense of security and make her feel like she’s part of a family.

Make your colorful connections at Atria

Atria provides the kind of support and opportunities that make it easier for older adults to pursue their passions with energy and optimism. Our vibrant communities offer the perfect environment to learn, grow and connect with others. We invite you to join Sarah and other residents who’ve made Atria their home.

Find a community.

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

A perfectly tailored fit

Atria Senior Living Resident, Estella, in her sowing room

When considering a new place to call home, Estella wanted a community that provided the independent lifestyle she cherished. When she first visited Atria at the Arboretum, it was all that she had imagined – but before moving in she asked, “Can I bring my sewing machine?”

Sewing is a passion for Estella that started at a very young age when her mother needed help making dresses for one of her many seamstress customers. From that day on, Estella’s love for stitching colorful creations grew – so when Atria said that they would of course support her interests, Estella knew she’d found her new home.

Living at Atria provides the freedom Estella enjoys and has helped her make meaningful connections. As she explains, “If I had stayed at home by myself, I wouldn’t have made so many friends, and that’s important to me.” She’s especially fond of a community sewing group she joined, which she affectionally calls, “The Knit Wits.”

Discover a lifestyle that fits you

At Atria, you’ll find for older adults to pursue their passions with energy and optimism. Our vibrant communities offer the perfect environment to learn, grow and connect with others. We invite you to join Estella and other residents who’ve made Atria their home.

Find a community.

Categories
Making the Decision

When’s the right time to move to assisted living?

Shot of two senior women having tea together in a retirement home
Shot of two senior women having tea together in a retirement home

When deciding upon an assisted living community for your parent or older relative, knowing all of the options that are available to you can make things easier. Whether you anticipate transitioning to a senior living community in the near future or are simply conducting research, it’s important to know which senior care service would best fit your family’s needs.

In this video, Karen Devaney, National Director of Care Management at Atria, answers questions about which levels of care are best for your parent or older family member.

Identifying the right time for senior living or assisted living

As people grow older, the responsibilities of owning and maintaining a home can put their health and safety in jeopardy. This is especially true for individuals with care needs, who may also rely on their caregivers as their only method of social connection. Caregivers can be limited to just one or two people who serve a number of different roles. One of those people may be you, or perhaps you have tried your best to divide caregiving tasks among your siblings and other family members or hired an in-home caregiver to provide assistance.

A move to senior living or assisted living, a setting that offers 24-hour support, is often what’s necessary for your parent to maintain their sense of independence – and for you to have peace of mind.

Ask yourself these questions:

On a daily basis, does my parent or relative engage in physical exercise? Socialize and connect with others? Eat a variety of fresh, nutritious meals? Set goals and enjoy a sense of purpose? If you answered no to one or more of these questions, senior living may be a good choice for your parent now.

On a daily basis, have you experienced symptoms of caregiver burnout?

Examples include:

  • High levels of stress due to an incident or hospitalization involving your parent
  • Moments of depression or anxiety
  • Trouble finding time for yourself
  • Feeling a strain on your relationship with your parent

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, it may be a good time to start looking into what services and support assisted living communities can provide to help your family.

What living options are available in senior living communities?

In many senior living communities, you will find three types of living options: independent living, assisted living or supportive living, and memory care. The difference between each community depends on the type of support provided. Some communities offer all three levels, creating a seamless continuum of services.

Independent living

If your parent is active and able to take care of daily tasks like bathing, getting dressed and grooming, they are probably best suited for independent living. These communities provide many opportunities for social engagement and the freedom to pursue personal interests without worrying about cooking, cleaning or home maintenance.

How to tell if independent living is right for your parent:

  • Is my parent physically independent but often isolates? Am I worried that they may be lonely? It is common for older adults to withdraw from others as they age and find themselves napping or watching TV all day. Independent living offers opportunities to keep them engaged and active.
  • Does my parent live alone? Do I worry about their safety or feel the need to constantly check in on them? Are they having trouble keeping up with home maintenance? If yes, the increased safety, security and sense of community provided by independent living would be a great benefit to them.
  • Does my parent often rely on me or others to transport them to appointments, run errands or handle everyday tasks? Are they still driving on occasion and probably shouldn’t be? They may find independent living ideal since common services include transportation, cooking, cleaning, maintenance and more.

Assisted living and supportive living

Assisted living communities – also called supportive living or personal care communities in some areas – usually offer 24-hour support with a broad range of senior care services, including:

  • Personal care services such as bathing, grooming and getting dressed
  • Safety checks
  • Escorts to and from meals and events
  • Medication reminders, which includes consultation with primary physicians and pharmacies, plus ordering prescriptions and scheduled reviews by a licensed nurse
  • Transportation to and from local appointments
  • Assistance with telehealth appointments
  • Incontinence management

Full-time licensed nurses are often employed at assisted living communities to serve as another layer of professional support. And for further convenience, physicians typically visit communities, so residents can see a doctor in the comfort of their home.

Some assisted living communities partner with rehab facilities to offer therapeutic services on-site; “house calls” at the community may be arranged if on-site services are not offered.

Communities that offer customizable levels of care can help enhance the quality of life for older adults. In addition, quality senior living communities will empower their residents to live a more active, independent lifestyle.

How to tell if assisted living is right for your parent:

  • Would my parent or relative be at risk if they spent a few days alone? If yes, assisted living would be an ideal option.
  • Does my parent have a degenerative disease or serious medical condition? Even if your parent manages fairly well and only requires occasional support, assisted living could be the best fit.
  • Is the condition of my parent’s home concerning due to their inability to clean or take care of maintenance? If maintaining the home has become too difficult for your parent, consider assisted living. However, if your parent is able to maintain their home but no longer wants to worry about the day-to-day tasks associated with home ownership, independent living would be a good fit.

Memory care

If your parent has challenges due to long-term effects of Alzheimer’s or other forms of memory impairment, they would greatly benefit from a memory care community. These safe and secure environments offer round-the-clock staff to provide specialized care services and medication assistance. Additionally, auxiliary programs like support groups for caregivers, opportunities to improve cognitive health, and events to keep residents happy and engaged are common at communities that offer memory care services.

A thoughtfully designed community that offers dementia care will leave no detail unturned to provide a better quality of life for residents. Some examples include playing familiar music throughout common spaces to soothe residents and serving meals on colorful dinnerware to increase food recognition and appetite.

Deciding whether or not memory care is right for your family member can be complicated depending on their stage of impairment.

How to tell if memory care is right for your parent:

Does my parent often wander off or forget where they are? Do I have concerns about them getting lost? Have they recently gone for a walk and got confused on how to get home?

If so, memory care may be right for them.

Do I have concerns that my parent is unsafe at home alone? Do they remember people and places but forget to do important tasks like turning off the stove, locking doors and eating three meals a day?

Forgetfulness could be a common sign of aging; however, advanced memory loss can pose a safety risk. If your parent struggles to remember certain safety practices, choosing a community that offers both assisted living and memory care services would be ideal in the event their cognitive health declines.

Do I worry my parent is in the early stages of dementia?

First, visit a doctor for an official diagnosis, since there are other diseases that can present themselves as dementia. If your parent is in fact in the early stages of dementia, consider an assisted living community that also offers memory care as their condition progresses.

Senior care services at Atria can help your family

This is not a comprehensive questionnaire, and you do not have to answer every question immediately or all on your own. Transitioning from home to a senior living community can be a difficult and overwhelming process, but we are here to help.

At Atria, each resident in an assisted living community receives a thorough assessment of their physical, emotional and functional status from a licensed nurse. During the first 90 days, a reassessment is conducted to verify that we are providing the appropriate level of care.

Thereafter, additional assessments are performed quarterly or as-needed based on caregiver recommendations or changes in condition. These evaluations help us see that our residents are properly cared for and are among the factors we consider in determining and monitoring staff levels.

The professional staff at Atria Senior Living is here to assist you and your family – from answering your questions about senior living to sharing info about senior care and more. If you’d like to connect with one of our knowledgeable staff members for a one-on-one consultation, contact us. We’d be more than happy to discuss the right level of care for your parent.

Our Guide on Deciding if it is Time for Your Parent to Move into Assisted Living (PDF)

Categories
Making the Decision

5 reasons older adults thrive in senior living

Seven older women standing together on the beach

Senior living communities help older people achieve more meaningful and fulfilling lives. Numerous reports tout the health benefits for older adults who live a more social life. With many different factors that may limit social opportunities for your parent, senior living communities make it easier to connect with others. Additional benefits include delicious meals, regular fitness and exercise classes, a 24-hour staff and discreet support when needed.

Still, senior living communities are often an afterthought because of caregiver guilt or the potential sadness or resentment from the older adult.

What are the top 5 benefits of senior living?

 

  1. Senior Living Benefit #1: Unparalleled convenience
  2. Senior Living Benefit #2: Opportunities to create new connections
  3. Senior Living Benefit #3: Easy access to care services
  4. Senior Living Benefit #4: Healthier mind and stronger body
  5. Senior Living Benefit #5: Families can be families again

Senior Living Benefit #1: Unparalleled convenience

Older adults who move into senior living communities often say they feel relief after downsizing and moving out of their homes, in large part because being a homeowner means shouldering the responsibilities of tidying up the house, mowing the lawn, fixing the gate latch whenever it breaks or calling the plumber when the sink clogs.

At a senior living community, the staff handles the cleaning and maintenance. Most utilities are also covered in the monthly rent, so there’s no need to worry about paying multiple bills on time. At many communities, there are drivers to help your parent get to appointments and run errands. Plus, amenities such as a fitness center, art studio, movie theater and game room may be only steps from their apartment door.

Senior Living Benefit #2: Opportunities to create new connections

Life at a high-quality senior living community should include a calendar of robust events like guest lectures, card games like bridge and rummy, board games, group walks outdoors, exercise programs, art classes and opportunities to connect with neighbors. The events calendar should feature programs and activities that help your parent rediscover hobbies and find new interests.

Many senior living communities also often offer opportunities to volunteer in the local community. This contributes to an active brain and improves cognitive health, which can lower the risk of dementia. If your parent enjoys giving back or finds value in joining a just cause, volunteering will add to their sense of joy and purpose.

Senior Living Benefit #3: Easy access to care services

Currently, your parent may have access to an in-home caregiver during certain hours of the day. Or maybe they call upon you and other relatives to remind them about appointments, refill their prescriptions, or help them take a shower or get dressed. At an assisted living community, a professional staff handles these services.

Some communities offer discreet care 24 hours a day, and services generally fall into three categories: personal care (bathing, grooming, getting dressed and safety checks), medication assistance and incontinence management.

Memory care services, which are geared toward those who are experiencing the challenges of Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia, are also offered at some senior living communities.

Senior Living Benefit #4: Healthier mind and stronger body

In a senior living community, your parent will have access to fresh, delicious meals to enjoy alongside their neighbors. Whether it’s dinner in the restaurant or hors d’oeuvres and cocktails at the bistro, dining with new friends will positively impact your parent’s emotional and physical well-being.

Fitness is also a key to aging well. Many senior living residents enjoy outdoor walking areas, exercise classes and other avenues, which help contribute to a healthier lifestyle than they experienced at home.

Senior Living Benefit #5: Families can be families again

Many find that moving into a senior living community relieves the strain on familial relationships caused by the complexities of caregiving. Look for a senior living community that will empower your parent to enjoy a more fulfilling life, which includes reconnecting with you as their child rather than as their caregiver.

To discover the benefits your parent would experience at a senior living community, we invite you to visit us for a tour. If your parent would prefer to try community living to see if it’s right for them, a short-term stay is a good option to consider. No matter what you decide, our experienced staff is always available to help you navigate the complexities of caregiving and guide you during the transition to senior living.

 

Our Guide on the Benefits of Senior Living (PDF)

Categories
Senior Aging & Health

Atria’s Commitment to Quality

Headshot of Sean Purser

An Interview with Atria’s Chief Quality Officer

At Atria Senior Living, everything we do is driven by quality. Our number one goal is to make the best possible life for our residents. To deliver on that promise, we created Quality Enhancement program to ensure every aspect of life at our communities meets the highest standards in the industry.

Sean Purser, Atria’s Chief Quality Officer, has led our unique, industry-leading approach to quality since 2017. We sat down with him to learn more about Atria’s Quality Enhancement program and the role it plays in our communities.

Can you talk about how Atria’s Quality Enhancement (QE) program began?

Sean: When we decided to establish a Quality Enhancement program in 2004, our goal was to provide Atria residents with the highest level of service in the senior living industry. As well, with so many communities spread out across the country, we needed a universal set of auditable guidelines to ensure consistent quality from one community to the next.

To establish our standards, we began working with each department (Culinary, Maintenance, Care etc.), and reviewed what they considered the most important aspects. We then considered state regulations, safety components and a number of other factors. It was an extensive process which continues to this day. That first rollout was the genesis of what we now call Atria’s Quality Enhancement program which is like no other in our industry. In the end, we knew this would help us provide our residents with the best possible environment and communities.

Do you feel like Atria’s quality review process is unique in the industry?

Sean: Absolutely! There are quality measurement programs in senior assisted living, but no one has invested in a platform like Atria’s Quality Enhancement (QE) program. Atria’s QE program is unique in that it takes into consideration both clinical factors as well as the overall resident experience. Plus, we are very proactive when it comes to quality standards – we don’t wait for bad things to happen and then follow-up. We try to look ahead and prevent them.

We can do this because our quality evaluation tool is very agile and under constant review. This gives us the ability to change or add elements very easily and quickly see when we need to address something.

For instance, when the COVID pandemic began, we immediately shifted our audit focuses to an in-depth evaluation of our communities’ infection control practices. Having that kind of flexibility is one reason our QE program is so effective.

Another Atria difference is we dedicate a team of Quality Enhancement Directors (QED) to focus solely on performing quality audits. These QEDs do not report up operationally, they report through me to the Board of Directors. This structure gives us a level of independence from operations and a dedication not found in this industry. Our QED team also comes from proven individuals within Atria. All in, our team of QEDs has more than 200 years of experience with Atria. We are serious about investing in the quality of services we provide our residents.

I can go on about how rigorous our QE process is, but a better example would be how well our communities perform on State Regulatory Surveys. Each state has regulatory surveyors, or “auditors” as I like to say. These state surveyors audit Assisted Living communities in each state to ensure they are providing the appropriate care, services, and environment for residents. State surveys can be quite extensive and in a typical year, a community can expect to be surveyed several times by the state regulators. Since QE began in 2004, our communities have continually improved. In 2018, Atria communities have averaged less than one deficiency per state survey and we’ve continued to maintain that level of excellence.

J.D. Power ranked Atria Senior Living #1 in Customer Satisfaction among Assisted Living/Memory Care Communities in 2021. How are customer-driven recognitions and awards like this connected to Atria’s Quality Program in your mind?

Sean: We see good results from State Surveyors and our QE process, but this was especially gratifying to be recognized by J.D. Power. They went directly to our customers and having them “score” us as the best is a validation of our efforts. It has always made me proud to know we provide the best senior living environment in this industry, and this just proves it. In the end, customer satisfaction and safety are the most important aspect we can provide to our residents.

Could you talk more about the Quality Award?

Sean: Sure, Quality Awards can be earned when rigorous standards are met during the review and only our highest scorers earn the Q-Award. The higher the score the better and as I mentioned earlier, there is the potential for monetary bonuses that also includes frontline staff.

Does it get competitive?

Sean: Oh absolutely! We count on that. Our communities, regions and divisions all know where they stand. I often heap praise on those doing well and I will regularly challenge those that are not making the grade. I count on that sense of competition and pride in the Quality of Atria’s communities. We are consistently raising the bar to continue to be the best in this industry.

Tell us about your team’s work in packaging up the Atria Quality tool into Glennis Solutions’ suite of products for smaller senior living operators?

Sean: In 2020, we started working with the team at Glennis Solutions on building a Quality tool for their software suite that would bring a lot of what Atria has learned over the years to even more seniors who live in communities using Glennis’ business tools. It has been interesting to see how the work we’re doing with Glennis is helping us innovate our quality program and take it to the next level.

Glennis doesn’t share Atria’s indicators with other providers since they are proprietary to us. But their survey preparation tool includes questions that are regulatory in nature or specific to each individual brand. At the end of the day, we believe it is important to help others in our industry strive for what is already a part of Atria’s culture of quality.

What was your background before coming to Atria?

Sean: I spent 5 years in the United States Marine Corps, graduated the University of Louisville with an Accounting degree and I’ve been a CPA for more than 25 years. I’ve worked in Public Accounting as an auditor and I’ve held corporate roles as an Accountant, Controller and CFO. 15 years ago, I joined Atria’s accounting department and eventually became our Operations Controller. After 10 years in Accounting, I began as Atria’s Chief Quality Officer.

When I first joined our QE team, we had a very strong program, and my focus has been to continue to strive to find better ways to measure and improve the processes. I believe my audit background has helped us streamline processes which has given us the ability to provide the most accurate assessment possible in this industry.

What is your favorite part of the job?

Sean: Helping communities improve is the favorite part of our job. To see a team of employees, make the commitment to Quality and put everything into action drives us. It is an amazing feeling to see it when a community puts themselves in the running for a Quality Award.

Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know about Atria’s approach to quality?

Sean: On behalf of our Quality Enhancement Team, I’d like everyone to know that we will never settle in our endeavors to guide our communities to the highest quality environments possible. That said, the reason Atria holds our communities to the highest quality standards in the senior living industry isn’t because it’s easy, it is because we believe our residents and their families deserve nothing less.